Must dos and nono's.

[AltruisticEnigma]

What are the must do's and nono's when you are pregnant. This is from your own personal experience as well as general advice.

In what respect?

Must dos:

Smile and nod at well-meaning but utterly patronising advice from old ladies!

Decide what risks you're prepared to take - eg glass of wine vs complete teetotalness. Make sure you can articulate your reasons, because someone will question them.

Know your limits. I'm getting tired much faster and after much less effort; minimising the moaning about little niggles seems to make people more receptive when i do say I've had enough

No-no's:

Do not talk about babies all the time. Other people have lives too!

Whinging that your big toe aches slightly. At some point, you'll have something really nasty to get through (indigestion, SPD, backache) so save other people's sympathy for then

:o

Must do - take your vitamins, look at the list of things you must not do, get more information about why you shouldn't do them and make your own judgement. kick counts, and ring your midwife if you are worried. They would rather hear from you 20 times over nothing than miss the 1 time that something is really wrong!
Must not do- any on the must not do list that you feel presents too big a risk!
For example, I don't eat Brie, but I do enjoy the odd glass of wine. i don't eat raw shellfish, but do have the occasional small piece of pâté from the supermarket that has been in a sealed packet and just opened. must not get annoyed by the pregnancy police, and those who comment on the size of your belly!

Don't get stressed out.

For me, and I am only 31 weeks, but I feel like the most important thing is to enjoy it. I love the way people smile at me and chat to me randomly, and I always get a seat in the tube and I love feeling the baby move and seeing my body change.

I hope that doesn't sound trite! You've got lots of better advice above!!

You are allowed to moan about horrible symptoms, but only to people whose reproductive history you know. Don't have a loud moan in the middle of a busy office. Miscarriage and infertility are very very common and will have affected some of your colleagues - they would love to be in a position to moan about pregnancy discomfort.

A more cheerful one - take loads of pics of you pregnant, because hard as it is to believe now, you do forget how big you were!!

Do: I second the take pictures, we have perhaps two of me pregnant with my DS and wish I had taken more of a visual diary of the pregnancy.

Research and do what you feel comfortable with in terms of food and drink and let other peoples opinions on that subject wash over you. I have never been a big drinker and so found near teetotaling in pregnancy very easy, especially as the one glass of champagne I had on our engagement and again on Christmas gave me rotten reflux. However I had to listen to my FIL tell me I was being stupid, ridiculous and over cautious every time I refused a glass of wine at dinner with them, not even taking in to account I psychically felt sick at the memory of drinking a glass. Bahh!

Count the kicks and understand your baby's patterns of movement. It helps if you know they normally always go quiet and rest at a certain time. If you feel worried, drinking a glass of very cold water, helps get them moving to reassure you.

Must do:

• go for a walk every day, even if only round the block. It will keep you sane.

• buy a maternity swimming costume now. You will not be able to buy one in a month's time as no one wants to go swimming in the autumn/winter Even now you are looking at either the odds and ends in the sales or a lot of money.

• buy an aerobics ball and sit on it for 15-30 minutes every day while reading a book/brushing your teeth/watching TV. Your pelvic floor and abs will thank you.

• get a kick counter bracelet and practice using it from 20 weeks until you're doing it without noticing from 28 weeks+. IME they last about 4-5 weeks so buy several.

Must not do:

• Do not forget your maternity notes or urine sample ever unless you want to be given detention and extra lines.

• Take mother & baby-type magazines overly seriously. They do print an awful lot of rubbish.

Must do:

1. Have a mum-to-be massage (or 3)
2. Go swimming (it's lovely when you're pregnant)
3. Drink lots of water
4. Take banned food recommendations with a pinch of salt, do your own research and make up your own mind.
5. Get to know your baby's movement pattern.
6. Be informed about your birth choices.
7. Find out about breast feeding - meet some other breast feeding mums.
8. Make your partner massage your feet with Clarins cooling foot balm. ON DEMAND

Must not do:

1. FREAK OUT.

Must Do:

• use bio oil. I'm on my first but all friends with babies say if you slather it on whilst pregnant it makes a massive difference. I have a nasty scar on my abdomen and in two weeks it has become less sore.
• decide on your drinking and back it up. I decided to carry on with wine during a meal at weekends. DO realise your new limits though. After a glass I got smashed and it used to take 3 or 4. Nobody wants to see a pregnant drunk person. I got dizzy, queasy and argumentative. I limit myself to half a glass just to compliment a nice meal, purely because I seem to be easily affected now.
• make sure your bras fit
• buy one maternity top before you show. I didn't and last week had to send husband out on an emergency mission as I'd woken up and nothing would fit. I had exploded overnight.

Must not:

• smoke. If your climbing the walls and desperate buy an electric ciggie for emergency use. They do work. Just knowing I have it if I need it helps me.
• panic, panic in itself makes things soooo much worse.
• suffer in silence. Find someone sympathetic to moan to.
• trust emotions completely. I can go from being cheerful and sunny to the mardiest cow at the drop of a hat. One minute I was laughing because bump wiggled and the next in tears because I dropped an M&M on the floor and suddenly everything was poo. EVERYTHING.
• scare yourself using google. Yes all sorts of things could go wrong, it doesn't mean it will.

Purplecatti Electric cigarettes still contain nicotine though don't they. Important to remember that nicotine alone can still have harmful affects on the unborn baby.

And alcohol? Hmmmm

Before I found out I was definitely pg I had a tin of fosters beer. As I had been experiencing early symptoms and thought that I was pg, I should never have had that beer and I have regretted it ever since. Whilst it probably hasn't done any damage I am not doing it again and I don't think it's acceptable to advise any pregnant women to continue drinking alcohol whether with food or not and no matter how little the amount is.

Shimmy, in fairness alcohol is one of the best examples of when to look at the evidence and make up your own mind. There's absolutely no evidence that a couple of glasses a week - with or without food - will do any harm!

Shimmy, i had no idea i was pg and got totally trollied on St Patrick's Day when I'd have been 3 weeks or so i mean 4-5 big pub sized glasses of wine

Obviously i wouldn't do that now (22 weeks) but my scans etc have been reassuringly normal. My parents turned out ok, and my Gran was given Guinness on the mat ward to keep her strength up.

Which reminds me of another Must Do - talk to really old people about their birth experience. My Gran (at 91yo) has a beautifully nostalgic view of her 3 (youngest is late 50s) - 12 hours from beginning to end, barely a whiff of gas and air... Fantastically reassuring among the competitive misery of more recent ones

Just to show all advice is subjective. In relation to the above:

I have not bothered with a maternity swimming costume (total waste of money imo) and just worn my string bikinis to the pool.

I have also carried on drinking in moderation, had a up to 4 halves of guinness per week (sorry Shimmy I laughed at your '1 tin of fosters' - I personally really don't believe less than a pint of 4% lager is bad, and have often had one during my pregnancy).

I didn't take vitamins as i don't really like them, and instead have just continued to eat very healthily, altering my diet at different stages ie middle tri lots more spinach/iron, 3rd tri omega 3/eggs/nuts/oily fish etc.

As for food, i have avoided pate and soft cheese but still had some on occasion (i have never had food poisoning from them before, so don't see why i would now). I have continued to eat seafood and rare meat.

Do not expect to have all the horrible symptoms people tell you about. I had sickness to wk 12 then felt fabulous since. People almost want you to moan.

I exercised throughout, swimming 3 times per week and walking an hour a day, along with yoga and gym. So don't think you are delicate and must rest all the time.

Have lots of sex, we never stopped - just became less energetic the closer to the end.

Really enjoy the feeling of the baby and connect more with your partner.

These are all the things i have done and i feel fabulous :) Hope you do too.

I have a maternity swimming cossie (well, a Primark tummy-control one with the inside panel cut out!) But only because I hate wearing a bikini!

My bug bear is being told I can't lift anything. Really? So how have billions of women over millions of years coped with toddlers and laundry

Still not convinced on the alcohol intake. I wish there was a way of gaining statistics from the good ol days to see how many babies were born with nothing wrong with them in correlation to babies who either didn't survive or were born with problems in regard to the mothers alcohol intake whilst pregnant.

I have heard of babies being absolutely fine even though the mother has drank alcohol throughout but just because you did it and your baby is fine doesn't mean to say that everyone will be the same and I still think that advising that alcohol is ok is a little irresponsible.

shimmy it's your personal opinion and that's fine, no one should tell you that your right or wrong.

Before I found out I went to quite a few house party's and was very drunk at them all, since knowing I've had a sip of white wine and a small sip to try a new strawberry cider.

In my opinion I would not take anymore, but that doesn't mean I'm right. There is no proof to say drinking while pregnant does any harm.

My doctor and Mw told me that if my iron levels where low a small glass of Guinness would be good or red wine. But they did show me by a small.

My auntie had a Guinness every so often with all her pregnancies and not a thing has happened (she has 6 very healthy girls).

It's up to the mother-to-be to decide but just because you decide against a small amount doesn't mean others have to listen to you preach at them.

But Shimmy, people on here are not 'advising that alcohol is ok', they are advising that each person should do her own research and come to her own conclusion. That is not irresponsible.

Isn't Katie Price's son Harvey's condition being linked to the fact she didn't stop drinking? And yes fair enough her drinking was probably excessive but I'm sure she probably regretted not listening to someone else's "preaching". If it wasn't the cause of his disabilities then what was? I did notice how she wasn't drinking when expecting her other kids funny that.

Midwives recommended stout during pregnancy for its iron content, and not for the pleasure of the mother and as we are no longer living in the 1950's the midwives recommendations have now changed. And one problem with someone saying drink a small wine it's absolutely fine! What's to stop someone drinking one drink which is deemed to be fine, then thinking well if one is ok I'll just have another. That's what I mean when I say it's irresponsible to post that a wine or a beer is ok because you and I both know that not everyone can stop at just one drink, and this is why the alcohol guidelines have changed.

Im surprised that when someone who openly recommends that both smoking and drinking in pregnancy is absolutely fine others then jump to her defence and start preaching about how three generations ago their relatives drank and everything was apparently great. My grandmothers may have been advised to drink stout for all I know, but women did three generations ago wasn't too well researched then and as doctors were still smoking in the operating theatres etc it just shows they didn't really know the full effects of any of this.

Shimmy, Harvey Price has septo-optic dysplasia. There are many suggested causes from young maternal age to cocaine use. Alcohol wouldn't case this condition and I'm sure no one would suggest even the smallest amount of recreational drug use in pregnancy is good for the baby.

Well, what I would do is not what you would do, probably. And vice versa.

I suppose my must do would be to wait a decent length of time to let anyone know about your pregnancy. I prefer at least 16 weeks. I guess another must do is to eat and drink well - whatever that means to you - but I'd say that even if you weren't pregnant. I don't care who chooses to eat or drink what as long as you're happy with it. For me, I don't ban anything, I just eat and drink well.

I haven't found maternity wear to be necessary in any of my pregnancies so far so I suppose I would advise against buying any until you are certain you will need it, otherwise it will be a waste of money. Swimming is nice and I wear a one piece which still fits fine - costumes are stretchy afterall.

Don't think you are delicate, no, but don't kid yourself either - it's a lottery and you might feel great or struggle to get through the day.

I think another of my no-nos is probably buying things, I'd stay away from buying pretty much everything other than the very basic basics until you know if you'll need it or get on with it. I'm thinking on having nothing more than a few sleepsuits and nappies.

I'd suggest realising you don't have to do anything. It's all your choice. Whatever you eat, buy, choose in birth choices etc, whatever, you get to choose, and noone NOONE can make you, tell you or let you do anything.

Alcohol is a recreational drug!

I would also say take plenty of photos. I have only one child and no photos of me being pregnant, and it is something I regret terribly.

Shimmy:

Kate Price's son has autism, Prader-Willi syndrome, a genetic disorder that gives him a tendency to gain weight easily, and septo-optic dysplasia. Does this mean that every child with autism for instance has a mother who drank alcohol during pregnancy? And if you are so against drinking alcohol during pregnancy, then why do it yourself when you had " been experiencing early symptoms and thought that I was pg"!?

OP:
Defo try to eat well
Drink plenty of water
Rest when you need to
Take folic acid up to 12 wks
Do pelvic floor exercises

Don't push yourself to hard if your not feeling up to exercising/housework etc, your body will let you know if your doing too much
I avoid caffeine as it's linked to miscarriage, but much like everything else it's personal choice

Make up your own mind regarding alcohol, but use a reputable source of information like your midwife/health professional/nhs guidelines

Good luck with your pregnancy!