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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Has anyone managed a successful pregnancy when they were over 42?

31 replies

evenhope · 06/03/2006 14:18

Just suffering a second missed m/c in less than 6 months. The first one you can put down to bad luck but now after 2 I'm wondering where we go from here. Is it worth putting myself through all this a third time (or a fourth?!). I spoke to a midwife this morning and although she didn't say it outright her opinion was you're 42, you've already got kids, what's the point.

I'm sure there are MNetters who have had a baby at 42 and older but can't think of any offhand. I realise that the risk of miscarriage is considerably higher after 40 but does that mean the chance of a successful pregnancy is too low to go for it? The stupid thing is we conceived this one on my third cycle of trying after the first m/c, yet in my twenties it took me 18 months to conceive my first one.

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Clary · 06/03/2006 14:27

A friend of mine had both her children after the age of 42, I think, certainly over 40. They did take a while to conceive DD2 and were having blood tests etc but in the end it was a natural, unassisted conception. No m/c as far as I know.
My sister's 2nd baby was born when she was 40, I was 39 when DS2 was born.
Any help?

IamBlossom · 06/03/2006 14:32

Both my friends' recent kids were born when she was over 40, and she concieved them both very quickly and had no issues at all. She is counting herself lucky however and not going to try for a third in case it is tempting fate.

I am sorry about your miscarriages that is awful. Lots or people do have healthy pregnanies at your age, if you really want it then go for it.

Mog · 06/03/2006 14:33

I had my third at 41. Got pregnant right away and had a healthy pregnancy. My sister had a miscarriage at 40, got pregnant again a couple of months later and her dd was born in August.

mrspink27 · 06/03/2006 14:34

I was the only one in my antenatal group under 35 when i had dd1 and, out of 12 of us, all but 2 others were over 40, so there is hope.

Earlybird · 06/03/2006 14:36

DD was born when I was 42.7

OldieMum · 06/03/2006 14:44

I am 44 and my second child is due in July. I have had absolutely no problems so far. Nor did I have any problems with my first pregnancy - I was 41 when DD was born. If your general health is good, I can't see the problem. Both of my grandmothers had children at 44. My GP tells me that his wife did, too.

OldieMum · 06/03/2006 14:48

I should add that my experience has nothing to tell you about your chances of conceiving, however. We started trying to conceive when I was 34. We got DD after 6 cycles of IVF, tried three more times after birth, gave up and then conceived naturally.

Nicola63 · 06/03/2006 15:37

Evenhope, I am in a similar situation, I am 42 and have just had my second missed m/c (mine were within the space of the last year). I have no children, and desperately want one with my hubby (my second hubby, he's 7 years younger than me, we got married last year).

I am waiting to see the obstetrician next week re test results following this m/c. Prior to this pregnancy I was seeing a fertility doctor, he had found nothing wrong with me except some uterine adhesions (probably consequent on my ERPC last year) and was scheduled to have a hysteroscopy and division of the adhesions last month. Only (sadly as it turned out), I got pregnant, was very happy about this, but then miscarried again, much to my sadness.

My DH is not happy with the whole thing. He already has children from his first marriage and is beginning to say that maybe we should realise that this is not meant to be for us, and we should just be happy, the two of us. He didn't like seeing me so upset and disappointed, and I know he is thinking of giving up the idea, much as he would love a baby with me.

I am not giving up however, and after I have seen the obstetrician next week, I intend to do whatever I can to move this forward, including resceduling the hysteroscopy. DH would never tell me not to, but I can see he has his doubts. He had never had it cross his mind before that people have m/c's and this whole thing has quite shocked him I think.

Anyway, to end on a cheerful note, my friend, the same age as me, had her first baby 9 months ago. My other friend had her babies at 37 and 40. Both had m/c's before successful pregnancies, but then went on to success.

madness · 06/03/2006 15:51

42 and pg after 1 recent mc and 1 mc 10 y ago.

JennyLee · 06/03/2006 16:26

my mom had my little bruv at the age of 46 .it does happen

almostanangel · 06/03/2006 16:28

mum was 47 when she got pregnant then she got hit by a moter bike ,,,,,here i am !!!! shes now 86

Blu · 06/03/2006 16:35

Yes, I did.

elliott · 06/03/2006 16:55

wow, oldiemum, how did you feel when you finally got pg naturally?
I've just about given up - I ahve two IVF children (was very lucky with treatment, didn't have a failed cycle) I started ttc when I was 31 and I'm 40 this year. I've been 'leaving it to fate' since I had ds2, but its never worked before so I can't imagine it ever will! I was thinking of knocking it on the head and getting contraception when ds1 is 5 later this year, but maybe I shouldn't rule out a miracle just yet! Though actually I'd probably be totally freaked if it did happen...

Piffle · 06/03/2006 17:01

My next door neighbour has just had her 4th child and she is 44
She did have 7 miscarriages between her 3 yr old and this baby though.

OldieMum · 06/03/2006 17:19

Elliott - I was shocked, actually. I had been feeling very sad for DD about the prospect of not having a sibling, not least because she kept saying she wanted one. However, when actually faced by pregnancy, I found that I had adjusted to the idea of having only one more than I had realised, and my feelings were mixed. I'm now very happy about it, however, and very glad it happened.

bardot · 06/03/2006 18:19

I am 35 weeks with my 3rd pg and i am 42.

Nicola63 · 07/03/2006 08:42

I find the reports from older mums very encouraging

expatinscotland · 07/03/2006 08:52

My gran had a lovely little boy, her 6th child, at 47. Not planned - her other kids were grown or teens - but much wanted! He's now a consultant physician.

KristinaM · 07/03/2006 08:58

Yes. I conceived DS2 just 3 weeks before my 43rd birthday. A bit of a surprise as I wasnt TTC and was still BF DS1 who was only 8 months old ( so obviously conceived when I was 41). Both pregnancies went very well, babies were 8lb 5oz and 9lb 11oz. I also have a DD and 2 step kids so should probably stop now

Evenhope, have you had some medical advice? As you are conceiving OK you may be having the MC for some straightforward reason that is easily treatable. Like thyroid problems. Often missed in laydees ....ahem...our age.

The TTc threads wil have loads of advice.Good luck!

Original poster

evenhope · 07/03/2006 09:03

Just popped back in to check and I'm amazed at how many of you have been able to have a baby in your 40s. Nicola63 I saw your post on another thread and wondered if you must be my age from your user name. The midwife did mention tests yesterday but implied they wouldn't be offered to me because I already have children. I had already decided not to go down that route. She asked me why I wanted another baby. Why does anybody?

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Original poster

evenhope · 07/03/2006 09:05

Kristina x posted. Would thyroid problems do this? The mw said I should speak to the Drs when I go in for the ERPC on Thursday, so I will ask. Thanks, and congratulations on your late blessings

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moondog · 07/03/2006 09:27

Oldiemum,what a lovely story.
Ian Marber (bona fide nutritional guru) was writing in the 'Telegraph' yesterday about HaiR Tisue Mineral Analysis saYING HOW USEFUL IT COULD BE IN CASES OF IN/LOW FERTILITY. (Oops)

Nicola63 · 07/03/2006 13:35

Yes Evenhope, that is my birth year, indeed!

I am fortunate to have private medical insurance, which covers m/c and investigations for it (although does not cover fertility investigations or treatment), so I am having the post m/c tests done privately (and had the ERPC privately too, which meant that I could have it immediately and not have to wait for an NHS slot).

The fertility investigations I have had to pay for myself, and will have to pay also for the hysteroscopy and laparoscopy if I have it (at Hmmersmith Hosp private wing). The NHS would not do fertility stuff at 42, and although they would obviously have dealt with the m/c, they don't investigate, I believe, until after a third one, and I have "only" had two.

Nicola63 · 07/03/2006 13:37

PS very much recommend Prof Regan's book on miscarriage, have you read it, Evenhope?

littlemisspiggy · 07/03/2006 15:02

Evenhope, sorry to hear of your miscarriages.
I haven't read the whole thread but for what its worth I am 41 and pregnant (29wks) with my second baby. Our first was conceived when I was 37. Both were conceived naturally and both pregnancies (so far for the second) are proceeding 'normally'. A colleague of mine had her second baby at 42. Another had her first at 41 then had two miscarriages and a failed IVF attempt by the time she was 43. The latter has decided not to try again. Personally, I wouldn't put too much emphasis on the age thing. Sure it is a factor but whether you and your partner feel your family is complete or not is more important. Maybe you could set your own limit for how much longer you will try depending on your own circumstances (ages of other children, finances, your energy levels etc) rather than what other peoples'/media/medics' views are.
Good Luck whatever you chose to do!

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