Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Advice for dd please, starts nursery around due date

33 replies

moogs1000 · 24/07/2012 08:13

Hi, wasn't really sure where to post this but my dd starts nursery Sept when I'm due. Worried she's going to feel pushed out, baby's here and she has to go out everyday! She's not the best socially in big groups and I know she'll be upset when I leave her regardless of baby or not.

Any advice as to how I can do this successfully without me blubbering too (blaming hormones for my lack of control over tears at moment!). Just in hoping baby is late so can start her off at nursery first!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
greenbananas · 26/07/2012 08:18

moogs my DS is also 3.9 and is so very ready for his preschool nursery in September - desperate to go now and talks about it all the time. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about sending your DD. You are the best judge of whether or not she will enjoy it.

I'm 25 weeks and baby is due in November, so DS will have 2 months to get used to going to preschool. Your timings are a bit more unfortunate...

How about the following ideas?

  • Start talking about nursery (lots) as a really wonderful experience, laying it on with a trowel. Tell DD she can paint and play games at preschool, they will have a sandpit, she can have fun with friends, there will be lots of different toys, tasty snacks, staff are so kind and lovely etc. etc. Hopefully this will help her to build enthusiasm.

-Tell her that the baby would really like to go to preschool too but will be too little. Poor baby! Only big children can go to nursery and have fun with their friends. Babies have to stay at home and just drink milk and do poos in their nappies. It's so boring! When the baby is big he can go to nursery too. He will love hearing all about DD's day and what she has done.

-When you drop DD off at preschool, tell the baby (who won't have a clue what you are taking about) that you are ever so sorry he can't go to nursery but that DD will be back very soon to play with him. As you leave, say 'never mind, baby, when you're big you can stay and have fun here too'.

If your DD is really keen to take a few days off to spend time with her new sibling, I'm sure the preschool staff will accomodate this (they are supposed to work in partnership with parents and take home life into account).

Good luck and hope this helps Smile

moogs1000 · 26/07/2012 09:02

I like that idea greenbananas, poor baby! Ha ha. Dd can be funny and take ages to settle anyway at new things but enjoys them after a while. I do keep talkin to her about going and yesterday she told me to stop talking about it!

OP posts:
WhoahThereCrazyHorse · 26/07/2012 13:34

bansku my dd currently goes to nursery 4 days per week as I work. My baby is due in three months and I'm planning on continuing to send dd to nursery, probably 3 days. I have various very valid reasons for this - none of which include me being lazy. I don't think your input on this thread is particularly helpful - you just sound judgemental and a bit nasty.

hettiebull · 26/07/2012 19:21

I don't have particular advice other than that I did this exactly and DD was a whole year younger. She took 2-3 weeks to settle in, it wasn't as easy as some kids (and after a week it was her dad taking her as DC2 arrived) but it was fine and I felt better than delaying the start so she was bored at home while I was tending to the baby. Just make her feel very involved with the baby - it will be easier as she's older and well able to understand - and nursery is for big girls etc, and it will be fine.

bansku · 28/07/2012 13:40

"Belchica: You are also making sweeping statements about nursery workers lying to parents and that's unfair. I am assuming you don't use a nursery yourself and therefore this 'evidence' you quote is anecdotal. Hmmmm....."

Actually, come to think of it they just say things the way that they sound better. For example, an ex nursery worker told a collague of mine that you should not get worried if you see three babies crying alone at the same time in the nursery room. The worker might just be making bottles. Yeah right. I would run away, if I would see that.
I have these stories from nursery workers where they say small children are missing their parents whole day but in the records it is written "X had a lovely day". The workers know that (some) parents have a bad conscience of putting their child to nursery, so they do not want to upset them more.

"Belchica:The OP does not say that her DC is going into full time day care. Nursery can be a couple of hrs a morning where the child engages in constructive play, makes friends and learns social skills. It's important for kids, even babies, to expand their horizons and it can help with transition to school later on."

Babies, under one year old, do not need friends. Only thing they need is their mum to nurture them. Children need to have social contacts from age three, which is when pre-school starts. Before that toddler clubs and home life provide enough activity. Also, nurseries are full of diseases.

I am quite shocked that people in this discussion regard nursery life better than home. Where I come from nursery is seen the second best to home and used only when really necessary. I don't have time comment on others, and no interest either, as I see where are million miles apart.

hzgreen · 28/07/2012 17:40

i didn't go to any playgroups or parents groups with my DS for the first year and a half of his life, my husband started taking him when i went back to work and he took over as primary carer. but by then all the other children had got used to socialising with each other and my DS didn't know how to deal with other children. i didn't think he needed friends but it is clear to me now that i did him a disservice by just keeping him with me. since he's been going to playgroup one morning a week (on his own) he's started joining in with other children and doesn't run away crying when one approaches him.

in september he is starting nursery, we looked at four, two he really didn't like and it was obvious and two he did. we chose this one because it is linked to his playgroup. i'm due in ocotber and although i will be on maternity leave i'll still be sending him there a)becasue i think it's good for him, b) because i will need time to rest and sleep when my baby sleeps in order to be a good parent to them both, c) because i want time to bond with the baby, i will have two children and want to give them both some individual time.

i have to balance his needs with my own and with our new baby, for me that means making sure he gets time to socialise and develop independance, have some downtime for myself and develop a bond with my new baby. sending him to nursery i believe will help me meet all of those needs.

OP i have concerns about transition similar to you although i have a bit more time at the beginning to get him adjusted. i am hoping that plenty of one to one time with DS and a consistent routine will help him adjust to all of the challenges of having a sibling...watch this space for panicked cries for help!

brettgirl2 · 28/07/2012 17:49

Bansku you are the sort of mother who makes me cringe and run fast in the opposite direction. Different people have different ideas get used to it.

Your posts show obviously ignorance and bad experience of nurseries. Thankfully my experience is very different.

Btw with childcare vouchers it is pretty much free to put them in for 2 days a week during mat leave.

That said it is true that very little ones (up to 18 months) probably dont actually gain from being in nursery as such.

OP dont worry she'll be fine and will love showing little brother/ sister off. She's old enough to prepare for it anyway so it isnt a shock?

Chunkychicken · 28/07/2012 18:46

I'm probably being very, very generous to Banksu here but perhaps she's misunderstood the usual use of 'nursery' for both childcare/daycare and pre-school??!! 3yo are entitled to (free) pre-school/nursery, and childcare/daycare through private nurseries is often provided from 3mo. I would suggest very few mothers would choose to put their child into daycare if they didn't need it because it costs (I.e. working mums) & if they did, they would have very strong reasons and consider it best for their child. However, it was clear (to me at least) the OP was talking about nursery/preschool...

OP, I've not got to this point myself, but think you've had some great advice. From my 2nd hand experience, the,earlier you can get a routine sorted, the better, so fingers crossed baby comes at a convenient time Wink

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread