To Baby shower or not?

[Soleromum]

Hi

I'm new to mumsnet and have really enjoyed reading some of the threads and comments and wondered if you could give me your opinion.

I am 7 months pregnant and a friend has just asked me if I want a baby shower. Now I'm not that keen on the shower part but the idea of having my close family and friends all round togther for an afternoon of cake and nibbles sounds quite nice. I have heard of some people have a "bump party" and I think this sound more like what I would want. I wouldn't want any gifts (for lots of reasons) but the idea of having a fun afternoon with close family and friends sounds lovely, especially as I don't live near my family or most of my friends it might be nice.

What are your thoughts?

My mates are doing that for me too, and while I feel cringey saying baby shower and would die if they tried to play any naff games, I am appreciative of the effort they have gone to.
My initial reaction was to say no, but I felt a bit churlish as they were trying to do a lovely thing for me.

Personally I prefer to celebrate a baby's arrival once I'm holding them. But then I've been close to a couple of people who've had stillbirths. It was heartbreaking when my friend gave the the gift I gave her back but she couldn't bear to have it in the house either.

A bump party sounds more preferable if a little, um, unusual. Can't you just invite some friends over for tea or something? Your pregnancy doesn't need to be the reason if you see what I mean.

We did this, a non shower baby shower. I'm also 7 months but we did ours a while ago as most of our friends are a bit of a distance and my DH will be working all hours over the summer. We got together for food and drinks (no presents), our last chance to have everyone together before we are really distracted by a lovely newborn :) Was great fun.

I am planning a baby shower - i'll be 8 1/2 months - so cutting it fine, but i love the idea of having all my close girlfriends/mum/sister etc around before my life changes completely.

I am really looking forward to it!

Why don't you say you'd prefer people to wait til after the birth to give any presents, but you'd love her to organise afternoon tea?

My DM and MIL organised a surprise baby shower for me but I got out of it by going into labour earlier that day :o

I'm not keen on a party specifically designed to get presents either so a bump party sounds lovely. Lots of people prefer to do presents after the baby has safely arrived.

Thank you everyone for your great comments! I think I will do something like the afternoon tea and save any present buying until after the safe arrival of baby! It will be lovely to have a girly afternoon!

I think you should definitely have one! For most of the baby showers I've been to/organised, we've just had games and lovely food. They've always been really special for the mums to be.

As someone who's DD was stillborn, my advice is not too go overboard before safe arrival - nothing worse than coming back from hospital to a house full of baby things and no baby.

Totally personal decision. I really dislike the concept of baby showers (just seems a bit "presents please!" to me) but at the same time I love any excuse to get friends & family together. Your bump party compromise sounds great.

I'm with you Solero - I would love to have a meet up with friends, a last chance to have a nice relaxed afternoon of eating cake before the baby arrives. I wouldn't want the presents or games aspect though.

Have only been to one, deemed acceptable as she's American (and lovely). However I do feel they are a bit twattish... sorry and stink of present grabby!

Go for your tea party and state no presents and you could get away with it

I've said no presents and mine is a tea party in my friend's garden. My friend who is organising lived in new york for 4 years so I had to restrain her from doing a gift list.

I agree about the graspiness newbielisa - and despite saying no presents, as I've not been involved in the organisation, I have no idea what my friends have actually said. Ah well, as I keep saying to myself, they are doing a lovely thing and I mustn't be churlish!

Baby shower :)

The decision was taken out of my hands when a surprise shower was thrown for me. It was a bit strange, but lovely at the end of the day. My friends had put so much thought into the food, drinks, cake etc. One got carried away with the games and I was a little bit but we all had a good time. I hadn't even considered having one, and it made me feel very special at a time when I felt fat, sore and miserable! However, the being forced to sit and open every gift in front of everyone felt a bit awkward. It really humbled me.

If you fancy it, go for it.

My friend was planning a 'blessingway' (google it!) Which is a native American mother blessing.

Sounds really lentil weaver but she just did the parts she liked the sound of.

Then her Dd got chicken pox so it didn't go ahead, but I'm sure it would have been lovely.

Again thanks so much for the comments, I have decided and given my friend very strict instructions, just cakes and nibbles, not lots of decorations and definitley no presents!! Just my favourite ladies and my favourite cakes! Thanks again xx