Moving to NYC at 13 weeks pregnant - am I mad?

[abcde1]

Am due late February and we are planning on moving to NYC for a year in late August when I'll be around 13 weeks. Already have one DD who turns 2 in August. I won't be working although DH will be working crazy hours all over America so is unlikely to be around a great deal.

Don't really know anyone in NYC although have been given promises of addresses of friends of friends. Have been referred to a great obstetrician so that's sorted.

Parents on both sides live in the UK and work so can't really come over at short notice.

We had a scan at 7+5 (no medical need, just for our reassurance) and it's a currently healthy singleton pregnancy (thank goodness..). I may have complications since I've had abdominal surgery since having DD, although the risk of these are small (and the consultant who did my scan wasn't at all concerned about them). DD was a very boring, uneventful pregnancy and a ventouse birth (wasn't keen on coming out!).

I alternate between being really excited about the opportunity, and thinking that I'm being an utter fool to have a baby/deal with a newborn abroad when I have a fantastic support system and friends right here.

If we're going to back out we need to do so in the next few weeks...

Anyone done this? Am I being an idiot? Or am I actually being a go-getting adventure-seeking fearless mummy?!

You're completely mad :) but it sounds like it could be a fun trip and a year will pass quickly.

I'd love to go to NYC - maybe not for a year thou :) And it does sound like you have already given it a lot of thought.

Sounds like a great adventure, but not sure you will enjoy it as much if you are pregnant and then have a baby with no friends or family about especially if DH isn't about much to help you and DD settle in, or to help with DD as you get big and tired later in the pregnancy/when DC2 arrives. Having said that, you have time before DC2 arrives to get settled and meet other mummies and make new friends. That's where already having DD will help as you can find groups to take her to.

My biggest concern would be the medical side of things and associated costs. Have you worked out how much medical care will cost while you are there? Does DH's work give you all medical insurance, and does it cover all potential costs associated with having a baby? Could be expensive if not everything is covered! I'm sure someone who knows how the US medical system will be along to give advice soon.

I can't decide whether you are mad or whether to be jealous of the opportunity you have :)

Just a few of things to consider:

1. Medical costs, as previously mentioned. Unless it's covered by your DH's work healthcare plan, giving birth in the US can costs thousands of dollars.
2. Chasing round after a toddler while heavily pregnant without much help from your DH could be exhausting (unless you're one of those lucky people who flies through pregnancy without even noticing it).
3. Having a toddler and a newborn will be hard work, especially without DH around and with no family support nearby.
4. Are you the type who goes out and meets people and makes friends easily? Having a new baby can be a great way to meet people, or it can be a lonely and isolating experience, depending on your personality.

Other than that, it could be a great adventure. And February is a good time to give birth in NY as you won't be pregnant during the hot, humid summer.

Thanks for the advice.

Fortunately the medical side of things is covered: we have fully comp medical insurance with DH's company so everything will be paid for.

I guess my real fear is the loneliness. I'm hoping I'll have enough time to meet people but I'm not really a 'mummy' person and loathe sitting around discussing nappies, weaning and the like (I love my own child(ren) but not really that interested in other people's to be brutally honest). Ended up just avoiding the mummies' covens (as DH used to call them...) when DD was tiny since they bored me to half to death... Think I'm worried that moving with a toddler and when pregnant will automatically mean that these are the only people I'll meet.

Am also worried that if I'm struggling, the MIL will insist on coming over to 'help'.

Really should have thought this through before getting knocked up.

Oh and I don't fly through pregnancy at all. I like the big boobs: not so keen on the rest of it...!