Need a hug or a slap - not sure which

[potas]

HELP!
I'm 40 weeks and 6 days preggers now and getting seriously depressed. I'm a very active person and have been very active during pregnancy - still walking the dog 3-4 miles a day and trying to get out and about. But...
For the last three weeks I've had seriously painful period type pains on and off, the baby has dropped and I feel like he is sat between my legs he is that low down now. Everything is uncomfortable (apart from walking) I have for the last few weeks had very uncomfortable braxton hicks and if I get in the car for more than 10 minutes the top of my uterus gets tight and very painful. Oh, and I can't sleep for more than an hour and a half in one go - just wake up and sit downstairs during the night. My midwife seems completely uninterested. Thats just the way things are apparently but I just can't see this baby ever arriving - all this discomfort and nothing seems to progress. I actually feel like when I finally get a contraction I will push the air with delight. I'm getting depressed and crying a lot cos I am convinced that I will need inducing and end up having a caesarian which will stop me getting out and about for ages, and I can't cope with the idea of another 7 days like this. Can anyone cheer me up?

Really? No one has any words of encouragement? I feel at the end of my tether and can't find anyone who is experiencing or has experienced the same things - everyone else seems to feel no pain till they actually go into labour.

I'm only 10 weeks with my first so I have nothing to offer advice wise but it does sound like you need a hug!

I hope someone with some advice will pop in soon.

Best wishes!

I'm only 30 weeks with my first so never been where you are atm but I totally understand being low and uncomfortable. I have PGP and used to be very active so finding it very frustrating.

I know 7 days seems like a lifetime when you're so uncomfortable but you'll have your LO soon. Sorry you're feeling so rubbish hun x

You do sound down!

Maybe all these aches and pains are getting you ready for birth so it will be a short labour (hopefully)?

If you can't sleep, have you tried putting pillows between your knees and under your bump to make things more comfy?

Do you have a birth ball you can rock on - sometimes that can ease the aches and pains? A warm bath might help with that too.

A c-s doesn't mean you can't get out and about for ages. You can start walking as soon as you want, and the pram handle gies you something to lean on as you go along.

Think up things you'd like to do - go the library and get some easy reading, if you like books, or some DVDs to watch while you rest on the sofa. Treat yourself to some nice food. Be kind to yourself, and things will get going, I promise! Is it your first baby - I remember DD1 was 8 days late, and that was the longest 8 days of my life?!

Actually loads of women have been through the same -- probably why your midwife is uninterested! Nothing you're saying is really that uncommon, I know that doesn't make it any less awful for you though.

The very end is a hard time but try to keep thinking logically, obviously the baby IS going to come out and very soon this will all be over.

Try not to worry about induction and CS, induction doesn't have to lead to CS and anyway you won't necessarily be laid up for a long time even if you do have a CS. I was more or less okay within 2 weeks, a friend of mine was up baking scones 2 days after hers.

Tbh you should use this time to rest anyway, even if you can't actually sleep, because once the baby arrives you are not going to be getting much sleep at all (sorry). Just hang in there, it's just a little while longer!

I should say, I actually went home the day after the CS, had no problems walking around and doing basic things, the two weeks was total recovery time.

Hi Potas, I have just logged on and seen your post.

Poor you.......Big hug via the net to you :(

Well done for getting this far and not having a melt down sooner. Have you got any friends that are off work today that can come round to see you, and maybe bring you some lunch and a cake and go out for a walk with you? Just to cheer you up.

I am only 18 weeks so can only imagine how you feel ( this is my first).

If you live in Essex then I would be more than happy to come over with my dog and go for a walk with you :)

Once again well done for getting this far, dont forget you are really tired and uncomfortable, I am not surprised you are feeling so rubbish. Fingers crossed you wont be induced and try not to worry to much ( easier said than done I know ) about a c section, you probably wont need one.

Much love and sympathy x

Potas - if it helps, I'm 38 weeks and been having a shite time of it. I have had pelvic girdle pain from 26 weeks and like you, I am normally active. I was really ill yesterday - d&v, cramps, dizzy, back pain and pressure on my ladybits - my MW couldn't give a monkeys, just said 'it's a bug'. I called the delivery suite, after talking to other MNrs, they suggested complete rest, lay on my side after drinking a glass of cold water and monitor baby movements. I do feel better today, but still feel like I'm edging nearer to labour. It is crappy, but we need to think it must mean that we will be holding our lovely babies soon. Hope all goes well for you. x

Being the impatient person I am, with DD I was due on the 9th feb - no sign and feeling fed up and uncomfortable etc etc , 10th feb - no sign, thought sod this and did star jumps (think I managed 2 or 3), on the 11th feb 2013 my DD will be 5! It's probably not recommend and I've never asked a midwife if it's 'safe' to star jump but if you want it out, just putting it out there! Good luck, wont be much longer!

Much sympathy - those last days are hard! I also couldn't sleep near the end and was so tired. Do what the others here have said - just rest and conserve your energy for the birth. If you are in pain that is your body telling you to take it easy. I had SPD from 20 weeks and although doing not much was frustrating at times, it was what I needed to do.

An induction does not have to mean a cs -mine ended in a normal non assisted delivery.

Only a few days left to go! You will be meeting your baby very soon. It seems like the longest week of your life I'm sure, but it will be over soon. Feeling at the end of your tether is totally normal.

Thanks - its amazing how a little bit of sympathy can make you feel better. I just want to cry all the time so am not the best company and dont want to cry in front of my friends so I am avoiding them a little bit. Don't want to cry in front of the midwife incase she thinks i am mad. Don't want to cry in front of my husband to many times as he is getting worried. I think I just have it in my head that the baby isn't going to come out naturally now - all these preparations my body is making and none of them lead to anything - I hope I am proved wrong.

Ah go on and cry. Who cares what other people think! It's a good way of getting lots of emotions out very quickly, your DH won't worry if you feel better afterward.

Try not to worry too much about interventions -- hopefully you'll have a nice natural birth but if you need some help along the way, it will be fine, really. All the worrying in the world won't help the outcome, just try to relax and take whatever comes.

Can you try to turn that worry into excitement? You'll see your baby soon!!

I am not surprised you are weepy, you must be exhausted and very uncomfortable.

I have heard that reflexology can help bring on labour (also a hot bath, a large glass of wine, nipple stimulation and sex!) - worth a try if you haven't already?

Well done you on all the walking - my mother is a retired midwife and she said it was the best possible preparation for a normal, healthy birth; plus you are likely to make a much faster recovery regardless of delivery method if you are fit and well (even if seriously fed up at present which is understandable). I was due this time two years ago and it was averaging 35 degrees in London. The only way to lie comfortably was wrapped in a stupid pregnancy pillow - my god it was hot. It's no good telling you to relax and rest when it is so damn uncomfortable, you just want the child out regardless of the consequent lack of sleep there too
My personal bundle of joy turned up within hours of finishing work at 39 weeks so I never had the few weeks of sitting around "enjoying some R&R" and getting antsy beforehand. My regrets - still haven't put my wedding photos in an album; never listened to the highly recommended hypnobirthing CD's; hospital bag wasn't packed until my waters broke; didn't have a single meal in the freezer; didn't walk anywhere, go swimming or have a mani/pedi; didn't scrub the floor to ensure optimum birthing position (can't say I regret that much) but most importantly was still totally focussed on the actual birth part rather than coming home and looking after my baby. Realised with a shock that all my plans to get around to reading the detailed hints and tips on breastfeeding and last minute shopping for bf friendly clothing had to be done with a newborn in my arms.....
Hope all is well - he or she will be here before you can say Olympic gold medal to you!

Oh - on the basis that all the "cooking" is done, my mum used to swear by a nice gin and tonic to get things going - it was the 70's - she always went two weeks over and there are lots of us, most of us induced and not a CS in sight! Mind you, she was and is a complete light-weight so it probably relaxed her no end!

My DS1 was late too - 10 days in the end. The waiting gets VERY boring, VERY uncomfortable, VERY tiring and you get very little sympathy from the docs/mws - it's all par for the course as far as they are concerned and will be gone in a few days. There is still a good amount of time before they'll induce you - ask at your next mw appt what they are planning for you (I think I had appts every few days towards the end).

I got that low down, hard to walk, baby right there feeling too, as did a friend - in fact we both walked around for a couple of days with the cervix starting to dilate before labour actually kicked in properly a couple of days later so you may be very close.

Why not go on and have a good cry with your husband - that's what he's there for and men are built with broad shoulders for a reason The hormones will make you inexplicably weepy a few days after the baby is born so tell him you are just giving him some advance practice at wiping your tears and stroking your head and making soothing noises.

And go and make another cup of raspberry leaf tea in the mean time!

Good luck and best wishes that it all gets going very soon.

Any update :)