Telling people

[Sazzel]

I'm 15 weeks now and we are slowly telling people. I'm finding it really uncomfortable, I don't really understand why because all the reactions have been positive and happy for us.

It just leaves me feeling a bit invaded somehow. They start asking all these questions, which are just taking an interest in our news, then there are the jokes about "bet we had fun making it" actually no it was stressful and was starting to make sex feel like a chore but of course I just laugh at their "joke".

Has anyone else felt the same way, or is it just me?

Awww... I think people just don't think til they get pregnant themselves. As soon as we got married, people started asking if we're gonna have kids... MIL was the worst. It really annoyed me cos we were actually trying (thankfully it didn't take long but if we were having problems, it could have been very upsetting). Maybe let OH do the rest of the telling?

I felt exactly the same, we had to tell people really early on around 5 weeks because we were about to start IVF which all our close family/friends knew about, i didnt think it was fair with them asking us how the treatment was going and us having to lie about it.

I hated sharing our secret with people, it felt so personal and private. I also got really emotional with the positive reactions.

I actually got my OH to call people and tell them so i didnt have to be there.. so silly!

Felt exactly the same with DD and am feeling it now with #2.

We told family about DD at about 9weeks since we'd had an early scan and it was Christmas so seemed sensible. I still remember not being able to make the announcement at the dinner table though and DH having to step in.

Don't really want to tell people about #2 now either. I think it's a combination of it being a special secret only DH and I (and my GP!) know about, and the feeling that once you tell people everything becomes pregnancy-related: all people seem to want to talk about is the baby and your pregnancy.. Seems very invasive and even boring after a while - there's more to me than being pregnant! Feel guilty about this though: people are going to be so happy when they know!

You're not alone.

You aren't alone.
I'm 22 weeks and we actually do have to tell people this weekend.
I feeling really uncomfortable about it and now it feels It's quite late to be telling them. I don't know what we will say, I don't know what they will say.
It's meant to be a really happy time and frankly with all the stress at home its just making it worse!

me and dp put our announcement on facebook because i was getting so upset at the 'are you keeping it?' comments.. noone was mean because everyone could see it!

bubbless how mean to say something like that!! good plan to put it on facebook, and by doing that it sort of lets everyone know you are happy and keeping the baby!

my dad asked me "are you sure" when i told him.... i didnt really know what to say, i was as sure as i could be!

I'm 15 weeks with dc2. I'm reluctant to tell after a mc at Christmas. I just feel protective and anxious and a little bit in denial. We were very open about the mc and I know a lot of people are anxious on our behalf.

littlemiss- all of my family are very openly against it, even though im a very mature 20 yo, living with DP, paying my own way in life with a full time and well paying job.. some people just dont get it!

it sounds like you have the perfect set up bubbless! you just can't please some people. my mum was 21 when she had me and it was such fun having a young mum.. and she had another baby at 40 it is fantastic having a little sister so much younger, you have so many options :)

I know how you feel, apart from telling DH I've not really felt excited about telling anyone else and in some cases have actively dreaded it or felt really awkward. But their reactions have been mainly lovely and that's made me feel a lot better.

So far I've told bosses, immediate family and a few close friends. I'm 18 weeks and am waiting till my 20 week scan before telling anyone else.

I think for me it's a combination of denial, the fact I don't have a bump yet so feel a bit of a fraud and fear that something could go wrong even though I know it's unlikely. I also get a bit bored answering the same questions about when I'm due, how far along I am, how I'm feeling, will I find out the sex etc etc. I think I'm paranoid about being one of those people who can only seem to talk about their pregnancy/child.

Strangely enough though I love being able to "talk" to everyone on Mumsnet about it!

I'm seriously considering not "announcing" it other than to immediate family, and just waiting for others to notice the bump.

ivana- ive been the same, i dread talking about it in real life but love coming on mumsnet where its all i talk about!! i think its normal to be in denial, at least until we start to show!!

Yep i'm the same. We had a troubling time and had a couple of m/c lately which everyone knew about, so then we get the "ooh are you still trying" and "it will be your turn next don't worry". Know people only care but i felt so invaded. Anyway i'm now 16 weeks along and only a handful of people know. we've told DD now so we're going to have to tell pp and i'm getting a bump but i'm not looking forwards to it really. So happy to be pg just like you say could do without all the questions.

I felt really uncomfortable about telling people, i hate all the questions etc. So i only told a few select members of family and 2 friends and that's it. Im 40+4 and still most people do not know! I love it, if you don't want to tell people then just tell the ones that need to know :)

Me too I hated it especially the "was it planned" ur none if ur business ! I wouldn't dream of asking someone that !