hypermesis - will I ever be able to have more children???

[pugsmum]

Hello all

I I have just dropped in for some advise because i an getting increasingly upset and worried about not ever being to have more children

( i have dp nagging me help him tidy while i sneakily mumsnet ... )

I have recently had an op and contracted an infection (sounds irrelivent) of which obvioulsy i was puking my guts up (excuse my french!!) for the past week ..
This brought flooding back all the memeries of being preganant with my son now 19 months but was sick throughout the pregnancy , and bed bound for 4 months ! However this week dp has been off work and has been single parent / sick persons slave / cleaner and chef !!!! ( to a mans standard any way ) therefore i have been able to crawl out of my pitt for big cuddles and toilet only ! which was just luck as he booked off the week for my opp!

It was torture for the past week as i just kept thinking (as we have been starting to think about trying for another baby in the near future ) HOW THE HELL am i ever going to ever manage another pregnancy and look after my current son

??? IS THIS EVEN POSSIBLE ( or am i hoping for too much should i just be happy with my one beautiful baby and not epect to much )

while pregnant with ds1 i read about a women who aborted her 2nd baby for the same reason .. this gave me the strength to continue with my 1st pregnancy as to be perfectly honest i was very very close to giving up on the whole thing (I hope no1 is offended by that comment but ) but it just outlines how bad it was .

i want nothing more than a family and to have more children .... is this reality how do people survive it a second time and how do i look after my son.?? i do not have the money for permanent childcare especially if i am on measly sick pay !!!

Watching with interest as this thought has crossed my mind aswell.

I have had sickness right throughout my pregnancy and couldn't have imagined looking after a child at the same time.

Some people have said to me that no two pregnancies are the same so I'd possibly not even get hyperemesis again but it's still a worry.

I always thought I wanted 2 DC with a close age gap but I'm now thinking that maybe a slightly bigger age gap may be more manageable if I was to be so ill again. If the elder DC was in nursery of school then maybe that would be easier.

Also there are many anti-emetics that the GP can prescribe. Maybe that could help?

I think you are both right to consider a larger age gap if you are likely to have HG again. There are 5 years between ours.

Statistically, if you have had 1 HG pg than you are more likely to have another then the average woman, if you have the predisposing factors like hormone sensitivity (do you have menstrual migraines, or puke when taking contraceptive pills?) and motion sickness.

I had HG in 2005 with DS and then worse (hospitalised) last year with DD. I thought it might not happen twice, but it did. DH was a single parent for 4 months.

We wanted a third but there is no way we can without winning the lottery to pay for a Nanny or something, as it wouldn't be fair on DD with her being so young. At least DS was 5 when I was ill for the 2nd time.

I puked up a few weeks back and it all came flooding back. Yuk.

I have a DS who turned 2 earlier in 2012. Had a very easy pregnancy with him, was sick 5 times in the whole 9 months. Blissfully ignorant about things such as hyperemesis.

Got pregnant at Christmas 2011 (am now 34 weeks pregnant) and got hyperemesis with this pregnancy :( :( I was hospitalised in January, sick 24/7 up until about 3 weeks ago when the sickness stopped.

The mere idea of having another baby after this and having to look after DS and DC2 scares the life out of me.

Am a SAHM to DS and it really was hard to cope with him and the constant sickness. We don't have a great deal of family support, and I really don't think I could go through it again.

I had hyperemisis with dd1. We left a big gap (5years) before I was willing to get preggers again. I hoped it wouldn't happen again but unfortunately it did. I think I had let myself forget how bad it can be.

Anyhow. It was made a bit easier by the fact that dd was at nursery full time and when she was home after school she would fetch me blankets/teddys to make me better :) I felt guilty as all I could really prepare for her food wise was spagetti hoops/pizzas etc. but she didn't mind and it wasn't forever!

I'm 34 weeks now and the sickness has passed (subsided at 24 weeks) and I'm glad I did it. I know I'll be even happier when dd2 finally arrives. :)

Arty I think you were on our Due in August thread?? We're now on Part 6 and over in the Ante-Natal section if you fancy re-joining us :)

I had it with Ds1. Was in and out of hospital, couldn't move and even vomited my way through labour. There are 12 years between him and Ds2 and I had resigned myself to feeling awful for the whole nine months but it just didnt happen. I felt a bit sick a lot of the time but not to a debilitating degree and it got a lot better as the preganancy progressed.

It can be okay.

I was sick with dc3 very badly, ended up hospitalised, dehydrated several times. Constant vomiting from + tst right up until labour...

DC4... about a week of mild sickness at beginning and nothing else! thank god!

I had hyperemisis in my first pg - felt like crap for weeks 7-15, in and out of hospital and in bed when not in hospital. Two months off work.

Was pg again (deliberately) 3 years later. Despite Positive Mental Attitude, ice lollies in freezer and phone number of an acupuncturist, exactly the same thing happened again, with added aggro of a two year old to look,after.

We coped. Used savings to put him on nursery full time for two months (he was already going 3 days a week); DH managed week days and most weekends a grandma came to help and give DH a break (both families live 250 ish miles away). We managed, but it is not an experience I am going to repeat.
My DC are fabulous but my pregnancies were the most horrendous, grimest times of my life.

You might be interested in this website

its a good question, and one that I am constantly going over in my head. We've delayed until now, but DS is 20 months now and I'm conscious that it took us nearly two years for me to get pregnant the first time, so we don't want to delay much longer. But when I was ill when a sore throat the other week I could see how hard it was on him, and that makes me really worry about how we would cope.

it is good to hear some hopeful stories but I also need to feel prepared too. I think we would have to just take the hit and increase his nursery days, but it would be hard financially and hard on dh and ds too.

Hi needles, I wondered where the aug thread had gone! See u over there. X

Had it with my first pregnancy, you know the type - still vomiting as I was having him.

Got pregnant (planned) when he was 10 months and it hit even earlier - 5 weeks! I battened down the hatches and prepared for hell - and it passed by 9 weeks or so! :)

I was very very sick with dd1.....in hospital, on a drip after keeping nothing (not even fluid down) for about 4 days!! I was sick about 6 times a day from 6 weeks till 20weeks - then at 28 I developed pre-eclampsia so not a great pregnancy!!

This time round - I'm 23 weeks with ds1 (dd1 is now 6) and I've been 'ok' still sick but nothing like dd1. I would advise on an age gap as while dd1 is at school, I can feel awful, be sick all day, sleep if need be and pick her up in my jogging bottoms and know that she will be tired and will have eaten a decent school meal (she has hot school meals)

It can be done and there is no reason that you will be so sick 2nd time round.

Good luck x

7 years between mine. Got it again. However this time dh and I knew the routine. As soon as was badly dehydrated I went to hospital for two days. I survived somehow. Dh had an informal agreement with work that those days he had to take off would come from his two weeks PL.
We were fine with this as dd was due at Xmas and his work shut down for a week so he'd still get bonding time.

I am 28wks with DC2.
I had hyperemesis from 5 weeks and was bedridden or hospitalised with the sickness and dehydration until just over 5months. It was utter hell. I am sure you can understand.

With my first child the mornng sickness was bad...but this was debilitating in the extreme. It threatened my health and had a serious impact on my ability to care for my child.

I know that I could not put myself, my DH or my children through the hell again. So for me, the hyperemesis as meant this is my last pregnancy. I am a little sad about this, but my existing family must come first for me. It's a very personal choice though.

I have 2 children 18 months apart. I had awful debilitating nausea from 6 weeks to delivery with both. second time so much worse. On 3 diff meds and bed bound for 6 months. DH and DGPs did so much as did my brother and his girlfriend. I do not remember my DS at all from those days. They were very very black days and I was suicidal with it all. It is now all worth it and they are 4 and 3 but I can never go through that again. I am so glad I did it but it was at a huge cost. I still remember the days and needed a CS the second time as could hardly move.
It is so worth it if you can do it but you will need help both medically and from family/nanny etc.
I wnated to have more but we could not cope with it so our family is now complete.
I really wish you well and all the luck that it does not happen againXXX

I had it for 16 weeks with DC1 but it only lasted until 10 weeks with DC2. It was awful for a while but I had lots of help from DH and wider family and started taking anti sickness meds as soon as it struck.

I used to worry about it too and I'm so thankful to be on the other side now.

This is such a familiar state of mind...the wanting to have more children or at least one more, and the knowledge that it is a hellish experience, for you, and possibly very very difficult and unhappy for those around you, too.

I have not been sick with any of my pregnancies so far, and I am on my third, however the nausea I've had has been so severe and debilitating that my doctor described it as HG. I have been suicidal in each pregnancy, due to it, and considered termination quite seriously in my second.

I've tended to get a break at about 18-20 weeks each time previously. I am nearly 14 weeks now with this one, and still feeling very dodgy, and it is very depressing to wake and feel once again that you are fighting not to throw up, and that if you let it happen just once (I am terrified of being sick and very resistant to it) that it will continue indeterminately.

I waited four years between my first two children and five and a half years this time. I was sure that this would be my last child. I am still sure of that! But before, I could not reconcile this. I knew I would want another.

My boys are both at school so I have the days to lie in bed and do very little. I have to plan very carefully to have things I can face eating, in the house, and sometimes this gets desperate and we need to go out NOW to get something as I've let the fridge get empty and there's nothing I can bear to eat. They both know I am very very tired, and spend most of the time in bed, even when they are home from school, and they are managing however it is not that easy for them, and I'm sure they would be happier if I was coping - the house is dreadful and I can't keep up with things very well.

but we have all lowered our expectations and I take medication every day to reassure myself and help me cope.
I wish again and again that I was not going through this or putting them through it. But it is the last time, ever, and they both are excited about a new baby.

I wish you the very best of luck - maybe it is good to wait till your little one is a bit older, so she can cope better with minor things like getting herself a drink or going to the toilet. Otherwise it must be your decision and it is a difficult one to make.
Love to you x