Really down as I need to have a hospital birth

[fruitscones]

I'm feeling really really down today. I'm pg with no 5 and previously had 4 lovely home water births. Last week (39+1) I had an antenatal appointment and was diagnosed with high blood pressure - was advised to go to hospital for monitoring and ended up staying the night (and got not a wink of sleep). Been back and forth since and started on meds. Feeling absolutely fine physically but really scared and worried about having to give birth in hospital. I'm really not good at not being in control and the thought of intervention. I'm due tomorrow and I know I need to do what's safest for both baby and myself but I can't help but be terrified. I'm just want to cry and cry.

they can't force you.

what do you want to do?
do you concede the risk factor, or do you think constant monitoring is contributing to your high blood pressure?

High blood pressure is usually a warning sign of pre-eclampsia, and eclampsia can cause death.

you need to sit down and find out all the information you can about high blood pressure, and work out for yourself what you believe to be the best option.

here's some info from the nhs

sorry you are feeling so down, just try to focus on the end result.

Will you be able to discharge soon after birth (all being well)?

Having 4 hb myself, and 1 in hosp I do appreciate the way you are feeling, but surely you can explain how you are feeling to the hosp staff, and ask to be interfered with to the most minimal degree while still being safe.

Best of luck xx

Just because you're going to hospital doesn't mean that you have to have a medicalised birth. I've given birth in hospital twice and both times I've had no interventions at all - all natural births. I'm just saying.

Chances are that if you stay upright and walk around a lot then no5 will pop out without anything more than a MWs guiding hand anyway!

Most uncomplicated hosp deliveries are out bu 6-12hrs post birth anyway.

I know how you feel OP, I am 39 +2 and hoping my home water birth will be fine. However my first was a waterbirth in hospital. it was lovely and does not have to be dreadful, if you are in hospital at least they can make sure you are safe and bubs is tool is there any chance of a compromise working?

Does your hospital have a midwife led unit? Ours does and they aim for little intervention, home from home type environment (birthing pools available etc).

Thanks guys. I know I'm probably over-reacting. I was so looking forward to this birth being as normal as the last and the kids (DS aged 12,10 & 7, DD aged 5) being around me to welcome this little one into the world. My DP (it's his first) doesn't understand. He thinks we need to do whatever they want to keep safe. I need him to be my advocate but I'm not sure he's up to the job.
I firmly belief that birth is a natural process and won't be consenting to intervention without a very definite need but even still....

Is it too late to hire a doula? I had one at both my births and as 'advocates' for your beliefs and ideal birth choices they can be great and a very reassuring presence.

Birth is a natural process but you must not forget that a lot of women and babies had serious complications years ago when they did'nt have maternity units/hospitals like the ones we have now,In my opinion the health of both mum and baby are the most important issues and if it means a short stay in hospital then that has to be the safest most sensible route. My neice was going to have a home birth, at the last minute she was rushed into hospital, sirens blaring, because she developed pre eclampsia, she was extremely lucky that we are only 10 to 15 mins away from two large maternity hospitals, she and the little one both became very poorly in a short time but thankfully were both ok because they got to hospital in time.

fruit - do you have a friend that you could have as your advocate?
My DH is a bit wet as well, when it comes to things like this - he just accepts what's told him and doesn't know how to deviate from that
I had my friend at my birth - she's had 5 HBs now (at the time it was 4), and she rang the hospital for me and made sure that they knew my wishes, and knew when to agree and when to tell them they were wrong.

It might help :)
(even if you do have to go to hospital)

also, if your previous births were fast, you might want to tell them that you are booking a HB because you're worried that you won't get to the hospital on time. that you accept monitoring, but that you want every option in place.
(they do have a habit of trying to clip a monitor to the baby's head)

I hear you. I cried buckets when I found out I needed to have a hospital birth. I thought they would insist on intervention etc. I've not had it yet, so maybe they will, but it did help me to speak to my obstetrician and find he didn't challenge anything I said, and said it could still be as intervention free as possible, and wrote that on my notes. Made me feel like they were listening, and weren't too blinded by being in a hospital to accept my priorities. Don't feel you're overacting though, it's fine to be upset. And second the doula suggestion, you can get them right up to the last minute I think.

Thank you so much for your support. I wish I could afford a doula. At the moment I'm seriously considering staying at home and birthing on my own.

I was at the end of my tether yesterday at the hospital and took it out on the poor jr doc who didn't deserve it at all - I'll need to apologise profusely. The whole hanging around thing is so against the grain (I'm starting to think the hosp must have a policy of making you pay for a minimum of 3 hrs parking so they can repay their PFI funding early). HELLOOO I've go 4 kids and too much to do to hang around hospital being told nothing and being bored out my skull.....

Anyway yesterday was so bad and got me so agitated that I'm seriously starting to question if hospital birthing is in my best interests. Just thinking about the place makes my blood boil.....can't be in any way good for the BP.

I'll go back tomorrow and hang around for another 3 hours or maybe 6 depending on how busy it is and try to stay calm. If I can get an hours worth of reasonable BP reading I'll discuss it again with the community midwife and see if I can't reach some compromise.

Sorry OP but I don't think they'll let you have a home birth, or a water birth, with high blood pressure. I was all set to give birth in our fab midwife-led unit, water birth, and it was dismissed out of hand by the medical staff at the hospital. The best I got was a soak in the bath before my waters broke. when they did, they told me I had to get out .

I know that I have the right to birth were I please (even if that was the top of Arthurs Seat) AND must be attended by a midwife.

Fire - Once you are in the hospital it is just too easy to be swept along by the system esp when you are in labour. That concerns me greatly.

What's bugged me most about the whole hospital experience to date is the lack of information in order to allow me to make informed choices. As a (mature) student I have access to the ATHENS database/library which is great but surely I shouldn't be needing to investigate my options myself.....

Fruit,

Do you have pre eclampsia? It can come at you so quickly, and very swiftly.....if you have it - or are suspected of having it - arnt you best in hosp no matter how much you hate it - i dont know a single person thats likes them really....i know someone who didnt fully understand it - and things got worse very quickly...

It would be worth speaking to your local doulas anyway. Where I am, and I get the impression it's wider than just them, they have a policy that no woman should be without due to financial reasons, if she wants one. There's trainees, there's subsidy (I think). Worth a shot.

Eliza - don't seem to have any pre-eclampsia symptoms just PIH which is one of the reasons I'm so frustrated by the whole thing and for it to start at 39 weeks is just pants (to put it mildly).

Thanks Alice - I'll look into it for sure.

My own wonderful MW came round after the clinic today which was really reassuring. Hoping I can speak to a "real" Doctor tomorrow when I'm back at the hospital (yet again) for a BP profile.

I so appreciate your support - still feeling very teary. Then angry with myself for being pathetic. What's happened to all my rationality?