Rrrrrrahhhh!! Kindly keep your opinions on my body shape/size to yourself! i am not public property!

[Moominsummermadness]

I am 29+4, and have and a half weeks left at work, but already want to go in to hiding. Over the last week alone, I've had at least 4 people at work tell me how 'massive/huge' I am (one woman shouted it across the office ), and two other people tell me that I am 'tiny'. I actually said to one woman today, "well, I was measured at 28 weeks, and my bump was 28cm, so that makes me pretty much spot on. I am, afterall, nearly 7 months pregnant, so I am going to look considerably pregnant!". After opening and closing her mouth a few times like a fish, she then (knowing that I have 3 dds) said, "I bet you want a boy, don't you". Grrrr. Yes, I may be touchy and hormonal and more than slightly sensitive about my 2 stone weight gain, but they can all sod off, lol! I'm not a bloody freak show!! Rant over.

Lol it's so bloody irritating isn't it! Someone calls me fatty on face book now and tubbs :( I no I'm fat but I am also 8 and a half months pregnant ! I'm to measuring correct ! And I'm
Getting oh won't b long now and any signs yet? And wait till it's here no more sleep (I prob get more as I'm up all night with reflux deputed downing gaviscon and rennies) ! Some ppl think yet are being clever or funny! One lady at work said to me once after asking several others who all refused "come on u can make me a cup of tea your pregnant not bloody disabled" jus out of the blue like that! I was like Urm excuse me? I'm still working till 9pm at night like piss off! Some ppl r so nasty but I think it's jealousy ! U prob look lovely all blooming and they are all raggedy lol

I am 29+3 and also tired of the comments about how large I am - and by people who really should know better (ie. women who've been pregnant themselves at some point)! Like you, I am measuring spot on for dates too and have probably gained around 2 stone (not stepped on the scales in a while though!) but I dread the question 'when are you due?' as the look of surprise on their face when I say September is usually followed by some awful comment about how big I am. The more tactful ones say something like 'oh gosh and you've still got a long way to go yet' - but that's not much better! I have been googling pictures of 29 week bumps to see if I am abnormally large and my research says no! The worst part is that my son was born prematurely and I'm so worried about this happening again this time. I've had a few people (who don't know this) say that I'm so big I probably won't go to term!! That really upsets me and i do wonder if there is any link whatsoever between weight gain/having a large bump and pre-term labour.
I am not working this pregnancy but last time my boss used to call me 'fatty' and another lady went into great detail one day comparing my bump to another pregnant woman in the office saying hers was all neat and in front whereas I was really wide and spread out everywhere! Charming!
People really are tactless and rude and it never ceases to amaze me how they think it is acceptable to make such personal comments about pregnant women when they would never dream to do so if you were not pregnant and had just gained a bit of weight. Your reply to your colleague sounded spot on to me - I wish I could think of a good comeback next time, I am usually so speechless that I can't think of anything until it's too late!

I went to a wedding last week and this woman I have never met said I was "massive (last time I was measured I was 27cm @ 28weeks) and I was so annoyed I replied, "I know, he's cooking nicely. How much longer have you got left?". Even though, she clearly wasn't pregnant, just not super thin! .

Our local parcel courier was delivering something and was telling me how her daughter had just told her she was pg. She asked how far along I was, and when I told her, she went "Oooh, you're a big girl, aren't you". Was . Some people are very rude. shouldIbecross hilarious, served her right!!!

I feel your pain! I'm 27+5 and yesterday at work a slightly obese colleague felt the need to shout down the corridor at me "my god you're really looking big and pregnant now" my only comeback in my flabbergasted state was "er, that's cause I am". What if when she stood up I'd shouted "god you're really looking fat in those clothes today and your hair is a mess" all of which the mean cow in me was thinking
Why do people need to exclaim?! It's bizarre! I haven't experienced bump touching yet... that's going to drive me even madder!

I think you need to interpret the comments.
In general people are not actually saying
"oh my god! you're really fat aren't you! have you been eating all the pies?"
what they are saying is:
"your baby is growing well, it's healthy, congratulations that nothing has gone wrong"
when they say "how long have you got?" they are saying
"I bet you can't wait to meet him/her, when the worry of a mc or still birth will finally be over and your little one will be safe in your arms."

As for the comparison of bump shape and firmness... Well that's just RUDE and they should've been told to shove it!

That's actually really rude shouldibecrossaboutthis. :(

I don't understand why people get so wound up about people commenting like this. Though I do get why people get cross at being touched on the stomach.

Don't they just drive you mad? I had some nurse shout to me the other day do I want to get weighed for this weight challenge! Im preggers love not fat! She must've thought that as I was pushing DS2 who is 9m. Then the look on her face when I told her was priceless (im 7m).

There are 3 other women on my walk pg too and I'd never dream of making any remark about how big they are just how lovely they all look.

I had so many people saying how enormous I was. Yes I'd put on weight but I was invariably still an awful lot smaller than the person making these comments! My bump from 30+ weeks always measured on the small side too so I clearly wasn't that huge.

I've had someone at work call me fatty every time I've seen him since he found out I was pg with DD (that was over 2 years ago!) and he has constantly asked me about when I'm going to lose the last bit of baby weight. Fwiw before falling pg this time I was 9 stone 2lb, which is more than I was before dd, but that hardly made me a "fatty"!

I also had a colleague feel my belly when I was 12+ weeks this time. She has a child so should know that she was not feeling my uterus or the baby.

Just 20 weeks and experienced the bump touching at yoga last night - any more suggestions for sharp/witty phrases to use?! Think I'm gonna need a stock!

Pooka - I totally disagree. To comment on someone's body shape is unacceptable unless discussion was clearly welcome. Would you openly discuss (without it being indicated that it's welcome) someone's appearance after they'd had say, reconstructive breast surgery? Is that okay too?

I don't initiate discussions with people about their body shape unless they reference it and even then, I would comment positively and sensitively. "Your bump looks amazing", "you look so healthy and well" etc.

I'm nearly 33 weeks and have been told how 'huge' and 'massive' my bump is (no, it's really not). I was also told when pg with DD1 that I didn't have much of a bump but that I'd got a really wide backside instead. Why the hell is that anyone else's business?!?! Who on earth thinks it's okay to say things like that.

Pooka - why is it any ruder that what she said to me? She asked me how long how I had left, then said I was massive when I replied.

I simply asked her how long she had left and didn't comment on her size. Surely she was ruder?! .

I had never met this lady before in my life. If she has said something a bit more tactful, 'I love a good baby bump', 'you look really well' etc I might have had more patience.

As it is I've spent 28 weeks with my head down the loo, had several injections in my arse, been in and out of hospital for a drip and weigh less than I did pre getting pregnant by nearly a stone. I guess my weight is a sensitive issue for me right now & not something strangers should be commenting on!

:o :o :o shouldIbecross that?s brilliant, I shall remember that one!

In this situation the MN classic ?did you mean to sound so rude?? is perfectly apt, without being rude, imho.

I?m 27 weeks and measuring 27cm, and have gained 1 1/4 stones and it's all bump so I?m not doing too badly ? but everyone still keeps saying I?m big for my dates (I?M NOT!) including my mother, who?s had 5 of her own and should know better, sigh. Luckily DH's a star and keeps telling me my bump's fab :)

It's ruder because you knew she wasn't pregnant.

You were commenting on her weight.

She was commenting on your bump.

Massive in context of pregnancy has completely different connotations to when someone isn't pregnant.

What you said was cruel. What she said sounds like she was making preg-related conversation.

Agree that comments on pregnant backsides not pleasant. I looked like a wheeble with dd, but didn't mind people saying my bump was big. Wouldn't have been best pleased with comments bout my thighs on the other hand....

I don't know - just seems rather cruel to make someone feel like shit just because she was making conversation about pregnancy. I suppose the difference is that no one is going to be happy if someone says they look pregnant when they're not. It is universally hurtful. Whereas to some people (me included), commenting that someone's bump is looking big/massive is no big deal.

I have had all sorts of comments ranging from "ooh that's a huge bump" to "such a neat bump" and most of them from random strangers! Very annoying!

Pooka, you may have no problem with being told you look massive whilst you're pregnant. I and many others find it unacceptable that people feel they have the right to comment on my body shape just because I'm pregnant. My body did not suddenly become public property for all and sundry to comment on it's shape and size once I became pregnant! Would you accept a stranger commenting on the size of you're breasts for example whilst you're pregnant? After all that could be seen as "preg-related chat"?

Totally sympathise op, and well said shouldibecross!

I'm only 21 weeks and am fed up of getting comments about the size of my bump already, yes it probably is a bit big but this is my 2nd baby and some bumps are just bigger than others! I'm not massive by any means. This morning a man I hardly know said 'not long to go now eh?!' er well yes actually my baby isn't due til November!

Next time someone I don't know well makes a comment about my bump size I am going to say 'well I do have a little person growing inside me, what's your excuse?!'

Honestly? It really wouldn't bother me if another woman was to say that, though I do think it's rather unlikely really.

Personally I find the snappiness and grumpiness about something so minor, to the extent that someone might deliberately hurt the other person by insinuating that they look pregnant when they're not, completely ott.

Saying someone has a big bump is similar to their yawn inducing boring pregnancy related conversational intros as:

When's it due? ,
How exciting!?
Have you found out whether it's a boy or a girl? (some people seem to loathe this)
Or even, how are you feeling? (which I've seen people get ridiculously irate on here about before)

I don't understand the snottiness myself. But obviously others feel similarly put out. I still don't think that excuses cruelty in retaliation.

Therealmrssmith, I have had people comment on the size of my breasts actually ! Although not total strangers. It makes me realise that they must have noticed that I was as flat as a pancake before, despite wearing padded bras .

I'm glad that I'm not the only one feeling like this. Pooka, I don't mind the people who tell me I look blooming or lovely, or that I have a nice shaped bump. It's the same old culprits at work who shout, 'Oh my God, you are MASSIVE' at me across several banks of desks that annoy me. I am proud of my growing tum, as it's housing something very precious. It's just the way people go about things that I personally find irritating.

I actually don't mind people commenting on my bump. I have had 'oh you look quite small' or 'oh you have got a hell of a bump there'. It's not offensive at all.

I also admit I don't mind people asking to touch my bump either. It's not as if they have asked to physically assualt me!

However, each to their own etc etc :)

pooka, she didn't say my bump was big, if she had said something like "ohh you've got a big bump", "that looks like a good chunky baby in there", I would have been miffed but less so. Mainly because I personally worry about how big/small I am.

But she didn't say that, she said "wow, you are massive". To me, that means all of me, is literally massive. she had never met me, maybe I have a high BMI or some other over weight health issue etc?

Maybe I took it personally, more personally than some others would. But the point is, you wouldn't say it to anyone else so why say it to a pregnant woman? You said yourself it was mean of me to say it to her. Like another poster says, what if someone said, "wow you've got massive breasts now", is that allowed because boobs get bigger in PG? What about, "wow you're tiny is everything ok with your baby?" which I heard at the dentist last week . Is that allowed? What if I have an eating disorder and that lady saying I'm "massive" has now triggered something?

I don't think it's a snooty thing. I don't mind if people ask me when it's due, if it's a boy/girl, where I'm having it, will I be having an epidural etc. Maybe I'm particularly sensitive about weight due to HG and horrible nightmares when I thought I'd vomited my baby and the stress of the forst 20 weeks wondering how the hell he was hanging in there. This stranger wouldn't know of this because she is a stranger, so it's best to keep comments sensitive, what about "you're blooming", "you look fab"; all much more sensitive than, "you're massive!".

I'm sorry this has turned into a mini rant. But just because you find it acceptable it doesn't meant that people who don't are "snooty". Different strokes for different folks and all that.

I also don't mind the belly touching - so hopefully this demonstrates I'm not some pregnant raging lady!

Not that there's anything unusual at all abut being pregnant raging lady. Iw ell remember the rage (and didn't have the excuse of hg - horrible for you. Had a friend who was sick right up until the birth, hospitalised for weeks at a time. Awful for her).

. And yes, I suppose i did worry (rather than fight back but then that's because am a coward) when I had heaps of people telling my my bump with dd was small (I suppose it was, relative to the rest of me, I blame the eating for two myth and the fact that she was a petite 6 pounds something on due date).

I meant snotty as in being snippy or grumpy rather than la-di-da. Ido see your point though - but just felt terribly sorry for the other woman who obviously not only realised that she'd said the wrong thing but also that people thought she was fat to boot!

I guess I just think that it's obvious that when someone says "you're massive" to a pregnant woman, that they're talking about the bump rather than the arse/thighs/whatever else.

pooka, she didn't seem worried at all when I said it back to her, she seemed liked one of those quite, hmm, I don't know the right word? Quite up her own arse? Water off a ducks back? She didn't seem to notice and just laughed and said she hated children and couldn't possibly be pregnant. I think it was lost her her.

I don't find it offends me, but I just don't know what to say in reply. I have been told lots of times that I'm tiny. I'm not, I'm measuring just right for my 27 weeks.

I suppose a little part of me wants some recognition for carrying this lump round with me all the time! It may look tiny, because I haven't gained loads of weight but my back still hurts.

I'm 38 weeks now and when in sainsburys last week was told by the check out assistant "so you're having a boy right?" to which I replied that I had no idea. She then went on to say "well as you have a put on weight in your face, that means you're having a boy". Well I was so astounded that I didn't know what to say as (a) I'd never seen her before in my life and so how was she to know if I'd put on weight in my face or not and (b) I have been assured that I am not fat in the face (honest ). Well that along with being greeted with "hello fatty" the day before has certainly made me feel absolutely amazing!