VERY low, very sad and cant cope with Eating Disorder

[Emmiedarling]

I have posted a couple of times on here about my eating disorder, which turned from anorexia before pregnancy to bulimia during. I am currently 27 weeks and things are just terrible. I am bingeing asburd amounts of food. For example:

2 x foot long subway.
Large bag of nuts
Large bag of crisps (family size)
Multi pack of chocolate bars
Big box of dorset muesli
3 pints milk
Bunch of bananas
Toast and peanut butter
Pasta and sauce - huge bowl
Ready made sanwiches

All in one go. Then I do it all again. and then again.

I have asked for help. I belong to an eating disorer unit, but they will only offer me one session of therapy a week as I am not under weight. I have spoken to the midwife - she doesnt know what to suggest.

I have gained 3 1/2 stone so far and feel so disgusted that I dont want to leave the house.

After my binges I feel so physically ill (fast heart rate, sweating, hearburn bad stomach pain, bloating etc)

I just dont know what to do. I have tried everything in my power to stop and feel so guilty for my baby, but I just seem to be uncontrollable.

I am sorry for such a down post but I am so desperate atm. :(

I?m so, so sorry you are going through this. Please don?t feel guilty, you are doing your best to take control, and you deserve so much credit for that. Well done! xxx

I have no experience with eating disorders. However, I was helped immensely for anxiety/ depression/ obsessive issues by cognitive behavioural therapy. I know eating disorders are also treated successfully with CBT. (You might be receiving it in your weekly sessions?)

Computerized CBT has been shown to be very effective. How about trying this between your weekly sessions? It might help you feel in control and give you more structure. There is a general one which is free (www.livinglifetothefull.com) or one specially tailored for bulimia (www.overcomingbulimiaonline.com/Default.aspx) for £65. I really suggest pay for the latter.

Also please remember people are there to help you and listen to you when you are overwhelmed. You can call Samaritians or Anorexia and Bulimia Care Helpline: 01934 710679 at any time.

As easy as it is for me to say, please hang in there. Know it WILL GET BETTER. You are doing all the right things and showing what a fab mother you are going to be. Love and hugs and flowers and smiles and fairy dust? xxx

Hello
I'm sorry I dont have much advice but didn't want to read and run.
You sound like you need help, and nobody is offering you support, the fact that you have spoken to the EDU and your midwife about this shows you know you have a problem and are seeking help which is great. I would speak to your midwife or gp again.
I'm sure you are aware that it's not healthy for you or your baby but sounds like this has complete control over you

Really brief as am about to go out, but didn't want to read and run

Bless you, what a nightmare it must be atm

For instant, free and ongoing support - could you try Overeaters Anonymous? I know the roots of your illness is anorexia but this might anchor you a bit until you get professional (which is what you need and deserve) support in place

I's ask your mw to refer you to an obs consultant who may have access to better resources and might have more knowledge

Can imagine some mw being quite out of their depth with this

Stay strong and well done for asking for help x

Hun, you need to request a referral to a perinatal shrink or something similar. I know main worry with ED and preg is being underweight but ED are usually a sign of something else under the surface (I also suffer/have suffered various ED's) That was a pretty serious binge and you're obviously suffering. I know it sounds odd but try to keep a food diary, for no other reason than that showing it to a pref might make them realise you need some additional help.

I know it's tough and binges happen for different reasons but when I was getting over non purging bulimia I started trying to drink pints and pints of water (or liquid) you still get the horrid full feeling but without the cals. This might only be helpful further down a therapeutic route

Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. As a former bulimia sufferer (14 years) I know what you are going through. Unfortunately as much as everyone would like to make it go away for you they can't. You are the only one who can control this and you really have to fight. You have to start to accept and look at why and then you can start to manage it. I have been bulimia free for 6 years now ( I do have the odd relapse but it is never prolonged). I did it by myself in the end but I was so desperate. I think I used a lot of cbt stuff but I started with very small goals and went from there. It took a long time but a lot of it was habit. You can do it. It is hard, hard, hard but you will get there.
Wishing lots of support and strength of will x