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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Feeling under pressure (longish)

12 replies

WeeDot · 09/07/2012 11:59

Me and DP are looking for a flat/house for baby's arrival.

So far no luck but he has been to view one which he loves and has arranged a viewing for me...only problem is it is 4th floor and no lift.

I don't think having a new baby (and buggy and shopping etc etc) and 4 flights of stairs is very practical but he is really pushing for us to go for it. I am going to view it today.

If I mention that fact that I don't want to drag a baby up 4 floors he throws a wobbler and goes all quiet with me, am I being unreasonable?

I feel like if I said yes it would be because I feel forced into it, it's not a nice feeling, he seems unable to listen to reason on this and thinks we will struggle to find anything better. (baby is due Dec BTW so plenty of time to find somewhere)

He seems to get his way most of the time by throwing wobblers but this is something I am just not willing to compromise on

Sorry for long rant just needed to get it off my chest

Advice pls

OP posts:

theressomethingaboutmarie · 09/07/2012 12:14

I think he's nuts. Imagine if, for example, you have a c-section. Does he really think that you will be able to drag a buggy, carry your baby and your shopping up four flights of stairs and be okay with that? Throw a bloody good, hormonally charged wobbly back at him He's being an idiot.

MsElisaDay · 09/07/2012 12:22

He's being a selfish knob.
How on earth would you get a baby, a pushchair and even a relatively small amount of shopping up the stairs without potentially putting your back out and dropping your shopping - or worse, your baby?

You have loads of time to find somewhere else before December. And if he starts complaining I suggest you present him with a buggy, a doll (which must remain in a "safe" carrying position at all times) and four bags of potatoes. Then ask him to get that lot up and down the nearest steep staircase.
Grrrrr!

whatsoever · 09/07/2012 12:29

Personally I wouldn't want to live in a first floor flat with no lift with a baby let lone fourth - I know friends who have and they can't wait to move.

If he can't see how tough this would make life for you with a baby, he is living in cloud cuckoo land!

AKMD · 09/07/2012 12:31

No, don't do it. My house is up about 12 steps and it's an utter pain, let alone 4 flights of stairs!

If he 'throws a wobbler' then tell him to grow up. Or throw a bigger, better one yourself. The baby isn't due until December so you have oodles of time to find somewhere suitable.

ThunderboltKid · 09/07/2012 12:32

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at poster's request

noblegiraffe · 09/07/2012 12:33

Why is he so keen on it when it is so hugely impractical?

Put your foot down on this one, it's completely unworkable.

Original poster

WeeDot · 09/07/2012 12:36

Thank you everyone was starting to feel a bit hopeless.

I'm glad you all agree with me that it is a ridiculous idea. I will talk to him tonight and veto it once and for all.

theressomethingaboutmarie I hadn't even thought about if I have a c-section but that's a bloody good point and one I shall be using

OP posts:

noblegiraffe · 09/07/2012 12:52

You don't need a c-section to find stairs difficult. Imagine trying to get up four flights at 9 months pregnant! I'd have not made it.

Chunkychicken · 09/07/2012 13:11

I used to struggle getting my DD's buggy in and out of our normal terraced house because of the (3 in total) big steps in & out. When I had my appendix out, I had to be so careful to put the buggy outside then put DD in it on the street, so I wasn't lifting loads. Not sure how you'd do it in a flat...

Living together is about compromise. If he can't compromise over something as reasonable as not wanting to climb 4 flights of stairs, he had better have a bloody good reason (& not 'its the best we've seen' because other things will come up...)

Original poster

WeeDot · 09/07/2012 15:10

Well i've been to see it, the stairs are laughable, really narrow, really steep absolutely no chance with a buggy. I struggled with only a handbag.

It's not happening

OP posts:

CarrotWithaTwist · 09/07/2012 15:49

If you wait a few months a ground floor flat in the same block could come free :)

ItsMyLastOne · 09/07/2012 20:41

I went to a friend's today. She lives on the second floor with no lift, and there are steps outside too, and it was bloody hard work getting up the steps at 19 weeks pregnant and just my 21 month old DD to get up there. My friend also has a 21 month old and is 36 weeks pregnant and said it's a nightmare.

Can you imagine having to carry yourself up those stairs with a huge bump and shopping, handbag etc, or a heavy baby and shopping, or a bump, toddler and shopping... there's no way I'd be having it a all!

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