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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Missing my DH

1 reply

bettybat · 30/06/2012 12:00

I was going to say feeling neglected but that makes it sound like i think he's to blame in someway.

DH is a personal trainer - it's a very demanding job, and he's often out the house at 6am for his 7am clients, and doesn't get back until 10/11pm at night. I'm 24+5, feeling hormonal and obsessing about how we haven't had sex in weeks. It's not even like I am wanting it especially, I just miss that contact. To add to the lack of intimacy, he's been falling asleep downstairs after I go to bed, and not bothering to come up - I wake up most mornings in an empty bed confused and wondering why he's not here. I do get it - he's always had problems falling asleep and I think the act of coming up to bed wakes him up. Falling asleep naturally give him more hours in a situation where he's already only got 5 or 6 hours a night before he has to get up anyway.

I've mentioned it a few times but mostly just feel like I am putting unnecessary pressure on him when he's already got a lot on his shoulders. He is working insanely now in order to give himself a few weeks off when the baby is born. I can't fault him and his approach to his family - everything he does is for us, and when he is here he is loving and sweet as he ever was, albeit extremely knackered.

It's just - I can't help but feel like I am missing him, and the intimacy between us, and worrying this is the road to drifting apart. I know that's dramatic - we've been together 6.5 years, married for one, and I have so much love for him - he truly is the love of my life. The spark and love between us is as fresh and strong as it ever was, and I can recognise all the different way he shows me he loves me. He is devoted to me, and to our baby, to looking after us, to being a husband and a father.

I guess I'm just realising - is this the time in our lives that we have to go on the backburner temporarily for the greater good of our baby/family/homelife? Is it just that he's realised that already and it's OK, that it's how it should be? I guess I am worried if I go along that path too, we'll wake up one day with miles between us. People say, oh you'll not notice DH when the baby is here, and I do get that. But it's not an either/or, surely?

OP posts:
Cheekychops84 · 30/06/2012 15:19

I think it's hard for both when a baby is coming along. My dh also leaves v early but when he comes home he jus wants to sleep watch the news and sleep ! I'm getting annoyed cause I'm sick of looking at his closed eyes 24/7 but I no he does get tired so I dnt want to go on at him too much. But I am actually getting bored with him oops in hoping once we have a baby to pre occupy us again we may start actually having something to do which doesn't involve him staring at the tv and me staring at my phone .

We have two older dc 7 and 4 and they play happily now so we could actually talk to each other but don't bother ! Think it's down to all the waiting for baby to come. So your not alone we are the same I feel lonely all the time I'm sat up here now on my own kids r at my mums he sleeping/watching tv!

Do you think your dp may also jus be trying to get his head down at work to pass the time quicker so he can finally have some time off? Perhaps he waiting to relax then you can both enjoy your time together ? I'm sure it will be lovely again when baby has arrived it gives you a new fresh feel to your relationship yes it can be hard but you remember y your together all over again :)

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