Anyone else feel this way or just me?

[Cheekychops84]

I know this sounds really awful, but I'm kind of dreading having this baby not because of labour but because I'm going to be running around like a blue Arsed fly , and I'm worried in gonna get really depressed having no time to breathe etc ! And that as a third it's going to b really hectic going out etc my eldest is a bit highly strung and hyper then I have the one in the midddle!

I'm jus sort o thinking I've done the wrong thing ! And y am I going to do it all over again? Maybe it's cause I'm now on maternity leave and I'm all out of sync? I hope I don't have antenatal depression ? But I am feeling pretty down about it all :(

I've just found out I'm pregnant with DC2 and had bad PND with one so I can understand and relate to your feelings a bit. I think the important thing is to get these thoughts out in to the open firstly. Next, start to make strategies, what help or support is available to you, what do you think you'll need the most help with, how can your DP help if he is around? Can someone take the other two while you focus on you and baby a bit? Are the other 2 old/ mature enough to help out? Good luck!

How old are your other two dc?

My older two will be 7 and nrly 5 when baby is here. My dp will b off 2 weeks which will help but I feel as tho I may become housebound as when I was out with the other two when they were small if they started crying I would panic ! Cause I intially breastfeed first it's not always easy to sit in public with everyone gawping at you :(

Firstly, you are not alone. I think many, myself included, worry about having 2nd, 3rd, 4th etc children. I'm expecting our third in the autumn and our ds2 is 1 next week!!

I completely understand how you feel. Of course it's daunting and a huge juggling act looking after 3, but at least come September your elder two will be at school full time.

Last summer during the six weeks' hol I took our boys to the park every day, weather permitting. Then (4) could run round and have fun all day with his friends and I could spend time with baby. Take a huge bag with food, drinks etc and then no one feels like they're missing out. Could you do that?

How do your elder 2 feel about the new baby?

I think once you're on mat leave it hits you that very shortly you'll have another to look after, and obviously hormones are raging. Have you prepared everything you can in advance like meals, got plenty of essentials bought, can family help out at all?

I know it's easy to say, and harder to do, but you will cope and you will get a new routine going and a few months down the line you'll feel completely different.

Im pregnant with DC2 and I completely feel the same. While Im happy to be having this baby and it was planned I sometimes havent a clue how I will cope with a newborn and a hyper 3 year old. Im putting it down to having placenta previa and having to take things easy. When the baby is born it will prob be ok.

Have you good family support? Will your oldest be at school soon?

Dont feel guilty for how you feel. Be honest with friends and family, they will understand Im sure.

Think I have antenatal depression :( going to speak to GP on Wednesday hoping she can advise me

I'm sorry you're having a tough time, and are so anxious about how you will cope. If you are concerned about AND, you are doing the right thing to talk to your GP.

I've just had DD3 (5 weeks). DD1 is 4 (starts school in september), DD2 is 2. I also worried a bit when pg about how I would manage. DH works away part of the week, so I was really worried about how to get them all ready in the morning / at bedtime / cook meals with the baby around.

Guess what? I'm doing it. It's not perfect, sometimes I have to accept that someone will not be happy (whether the baby is crying for a few minutes, or one of the older ones is feeling a bit fed up because their tea is half an hour late, or I can't play with them immediately, etc), but I'm doing the best I can, and everyone is getting along together and is happy most of the time.
I am running around all day, yes, but it won't be forever.

Going out is a bit of a mission, so I tend to keep shopping trips to when I have less DC (e.g. when DD1 is in preschool / DD2 in nursery), or when DH is around. I also tend to feel stressed about BF in public, and if DD3 cries. However, for my own sanity, I keep telling myself that I have the right to go out in public with my baby, babies cry and need feeding, and everyone else will have to live with that - after all they were all babies themselves once! I tend to talk in a calming way to the baby, which also calms me down, and shows anyone listening that you are doing your best! Just stuff like "oh dear, you're hungry / tired. We'll just finish in this shop, then mummy will feed you / take you home." etc... I also try to breathe in and out in a calming way if I'm getting really stressed. I've had lots of sympathetic looks and kind comments when DD3 has been crying and we've been out - I think people are more tolerant than I expected!!! :) When I need to, I BF when we're out, and no-one is really looking TBH. I think once people realise you are feeding the baby, they tend to keep their eyes to themselves - if they don't, well, that is their problem not yours. It is also possible to time short trips out so that I feed DD3 before we go, so I don't have to stop and BF during the trip (stopping to BF really stretches the trip out, as DD3 can be a bit slow feeding...).

My HV has said she would refer me to Home Start if I need an extra pair of hands every so often - maybe this would help you too?

Hope the GP is helpful.