I don't fucking WANT pre-eclampsia!!!

[Herrena]

I am in a bad mood so apologies for sweariness in post title.

I went to the midwife today so she could double-check my measurements (measured small last Friday; am 35+6 but measured 34) and she noted that my BP has gone up from 130/90 to 135/95 over the weekend. I've also started to get slightly swollen ankles and there is a trace of protein in my urine. Therefore, I got packed off to the path lab to give lots of blood and a consultant will prod me in 2 days. Which is all reasonable.

What annoys me is the fact that both DH and my mother (with whom I have an uneasy relationship at the best of times) are now insisting that I do nothing at all until further notice. We have a very active 1yo DS, I get twitchy about my mother taking care of my house (because I have ishoos and well, it's MINE), DH has banned caffeine/salt/chocolate/anything nice and basically I am this close to flinging myself onto the floor and tantruming. I don't WANT to be poorly!!!

Apologies to all ladies out there who have got proper eclampsia/medical concerns; I appreciate that my problems pale in comparison but I just wanted to vent. Thank you for understanding. And ARRGHH.

Ugh, poor you. All the things you describe sound like the kinds of things that would royally piss me off, and you have a number of good reasons to be very fed up. I am feeling properly hacked off myself today, for no good reason other than that I can't possibly have thought this pregnancy business through properly, because if I had I would never have decided it was a good idea.

So nothing helpful from me I'm afraid, just an offer to tantrum with you.

Thank you for the support....Tandem tantrums! Bet mums of twins shudder when they read that phrase

Right now I'm feeling that there is no real upside to pregnancy apart from the end result. And in the weeks immediately post-partum even that little person might seem like a dubious pleasure!! I am being mean but good god I do hate sleep deprivation and the glorious paranoid guessing game of 'what does he/she WANT?!?'. Argh.

Not to put you off for good if this is your first or anything :) DS is lovely, honestly!

It is my first. Only 5+2, but currently feeling like it was an error of judgement. There is nothing good to be attached to yet, just a small purple line and a variety of faint and ill-defined but unpleasant sensations, and frankly I am not in a good mood. I wanted this to happen and took steps to engineer it, but sometimes it feels like a world conspiracy to make me do things I don't want to..

Sorry Herrena, I have performed a total self-pity thread hijack.

Don't worry, self-pity is the name of the game here!!

I found early pregnancy to be pretty crap. You're tired, nauseous and for the first time in your life you can't call your body your own - no painkillers for a headache, no decongestant for a cold, no wine (or not much) on an evening out and so on. Not to mention all the advice people keep inflicting upon you and the judgy eyes if you do anything 'prohibited'. It was more enjoyable later on when I'd been scanned and felt kicks - I swanned around feeling like I was a special rare breed of human or something. Didn't this time, admittedly

Also, I kept on looking for a pregnancy book entitled 'So, you must be terrified' and couldn't find anything, although the Zoe Williams book wasn't bad on that score. All the other books seemed to coo far too much for me!

It should get better, honestly :)

I feel your pain and I was massively resistant to having pre-eclampsia . I was admitted a few times in the run up to DC2's birth, and I felt like as soon as they discharged me the community midwives stalked me until they could get me admitted again. I got cross at their worried Sunday morning visits. When my blood results got scary and the consultant said we needed to get baby out by inducing me ASAP I horrified him by asking if we couldn't just wait and see.

In retrospect I was being mental. Women and babies die of it. You know this and it's totally fair enough to be pissed off because it is shitty enough being enormously pregnant without people trying to tell you you're ill. But take care :)