Found out last night that I'm pregnant. I took 3 tests, all positive.. I'm not sure what to do???

[Holly93]

I know I need to make a Dr. appointment and I will as soon as my cousin gets back in town in three days. I'm 18 and I just have no idea what to do or even make of this.. I'm still getting used to the fact that it's not some horrible dream. My parents are going to flip and so are my boyfriend's parents. We've been dating for a year and a half so that's one good thing. He's being good about it and he's ready to go to the Dr. with me. As far as foods I should and shouldn't eat, I have no idea about anything.. I calculated that I'm about 6 weeks and five days give or take a day or two because I can't remember exactly the very day I started my period last month. I work and I'm going to be starting college in two months... I'm going to do my very best to stay in college and get my RN like I've been planning. Can someone just help me about the do's and don'ts when you're almost 7 weeks and what to eat and what to not eat and if someone could give me advice about telling my parents, that'd be good, too. They're divorced, so I'm going to have to tell them separately. Ughhh I'm just so upset about all of this! :'(

{{hugs}}

Firstly food wise, start taking Folic acid tablets (v cheap you can buy in supermarket or boots). There's virtually nothing you must not eat, cut out alcohol and avoid lightly cooked eggs, liver, shellfish, some types of fish. Nhs website has a section on nutritional advice for pregnant women. I'd link but I'm a bit rubbish on the phone.

Hang on I'll try.

here

Do you want to keep the baby? Sorry to ask if that offends. BPAS can help you talk through your feelings and options. As for telling your parents, you're an adult, yes they may be disappointed that some things may have to be put on hold for a bit, but you've done nothing wrong. Women twice your age and far more experienced have ended up unexpectedly pregnant, believe me.

Thank you very much. And thank you, also for not judging. I know it isn't great to be pregnant outside of marriage and that's a big reason why my parents are going to be so upset :/ Yes, I'm going to keep it, although I know I'm nowhere near ready for a baby... I'll do my best though. So you're positive that I should start taking folic acid right now even though I haven't been to the Dr.? Is there a certain size I need to buy or something? Or some particular brand? I don't want to get the wrong thing and mess something up... And you said cut out shellfish. Does that mean no shrimp??? I love shrimp :( Another thing. I read something about I can't eat certain cheeses. So what about going out to eat? Should I just not eat out anymore or what?

Once you've seen the doctor/midwife, you will get given lots of paperwork on what to eat/what not to eat and everything else you need to know.
Avoid alcohol/smoking, and as the previous poster said, don't eat undercooked eggs, or any soft cheeses. Anything pasteurised is fine. I expect you can eat shrimp/prawns if they are well cooked (i'm a vegetarian though so i'm not familiar with that side of it)

And lastly, try not to worry too much. Even women who have planned their children or fall pregnant unexpectedly at an older age have their lives changed/turned upside down!
Everything happens for a reason, and this may well be one of the best things that's ever happened to you. You and your family have a good few months to come to terms with it anyway, and you can still do your college courses and get the education you want, there's nothing to say you can't even with a baby in tow. Thousands of women do it.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, and remember everything happens for a reason. :)

Just wanted to say hang in there and just take a step back and not panic about things it will come together in the end I promise! I fell pregnant on my 18th birthday (a long time ago now!) and was so scared of telling my family I ran away from home, when they found out I was pregnant the answer was 'is that all we can deal with that as a family'. Its not ideal but things happen in life. I worked still with my little one and qualified as an accountant by home study so you can do everything you wanted if you really want it - I didnt have a supportive partner like you!
Yeah your fmaily will be shocked but they will come around and before you know it they will be excited by the thought of there grandchild! You should take folic acid straight away, as its very important and every doctor recommends it - its not expensive!
Dont give up on eating out cos you are pregnant just avoid soft cheeses (like brie), liver, pate and shellfish and if at a BBQ make sure all meat is cooked properly and most of all enjoy your pregnancy and GOOD LUCK x x x

Good luck with everything. I fell (unexpectedly) pregnant in my early 20's. It was a massive shock, hadn't planned on kids until I was at least in my 30's, but my son is now 15 months and the best thing that's ever happened to me!

Me and my partner had been planning on gettin married anyway, so we brought all the plans forward and I was about 4 months pregnant when we got married. It doesn't make a difference really, we both knew that we would probably not be able to afford a wedding once baby was here so wanted to do it before. Can't tell I'm pregnant in the photos

I told my dad before anyone else (except my husband obviously!). I was terrified, but he was amazing. Asked me if I was happy about it, and when I said yes, he just asked what he could do to help us When I told my mum she cried but she was happy for me. Both my parents now utterly dote on my son, and have agreed he's the best thing that could have happened!

Avoid soft cheese (except Philadelphia type stuff), don't have pâté. Stop drinking/smoking. Tesco sell folic acid for £1 a tub, or can get pregnacare multi vitamins. Don't take any vitamins containing vitamin A. You will be fine, trust me.

Holly, are you in the US? You sound like you might possibly be, so just be aware that a lot of us on here are in the UK so vitamin brands/pharmacists/advice centres we mention might not be familiar to you.

Most of us are probably also following UK health recommendations etc. These vary quite a lot from country to country, but a big fat misconception here seems to be that you shouldn't eat shellfish! Raw shellfish like oysters is not recommended, but properly cooked shellfish (and why on earth would you want to eat a raw grey shrimp/prawn anyway?!) is actually considered fine according to the NHS. Meat pate and soft cheese with a mouldy rind are most likely to harbour problem quantities of dangerous bacteria, so are probably best avoided, but hard cheese and cheeses not made with mould are considered fine here. Sometimes how 'dangerous' a food is considered to be can depend on the climate you live in, so check something local to you.

Folic acid is to help make sure the baby's spinal cord develops and gets enclosed properly, so it's very important. Taking a supplement won't do you any harm and can only do the foetus good, I think. It's pretty cheap (I got 60 1-a-day tablets for about £2) and if you are in N. America, I'm sure CVS or somewhere like that will have it. I'm taking 400mcg/day, a bit higher is also fine.

And congratulations! Not sure I can give you advice about how to tell your parents, except I guess that maybe showing you're already taking responsibility and trying to make good decisions could help? Tbh I'm not really sure how I'm going to tell my parents, even though I'm married and we wanted to have a baby! I haven't finished my PhD, that will have to happen after the baby is born. But we can do it! Do you know if your college has childcare?

Sorry, I think that last bit of my comment was pretty insensitive actually. It must be a real shock for you. But you can do this if you choose to, even if some life experiences get delayed because you're having other life experiences! And though it won't be easy, maybe what you go through now will help you bring something to your career as a nurse that you wouldn't have had otherwise. Maybe in time you'll be able to meet up with other young mums who are getting through similar challenges to you? Good luck good luck.

Okay as long as I can eat shrimp! Lol. I've finally accepted that I'm pregnant, now. I'm still scared and also worried about telling my parents but I'm ready to get it off of my chest. A dilemma has come up, though, and I'm not sure what to do! I have to have two immunizations for college in the fall and it's the rubella and tetanus shots. I've read it's best not to get any immunizations while pregnant and I really don't want to because of the risk of it causing the baby to be born autistic or something else. If my baby was born with something wrong with it, I don't think I'd ever be able to forgive myself for getting the immunizations. But then on the other hand, I REALLY need to start school and I've read that there is no proof that any issues have been caused by the shots. I just don't know. I really don't want to take that risk :/ Ugh. And yes, Splinters, I'm in the U.S. and no, you didn't come across as insensitive to me. Thank you all for your comments! I read all of every one of them and I definitely appreciate them all. I'm hopefully going to be able to get an appointment for this coming Friday.. fingers crossed!

Hi, just wanted to say don't give yourself a hard time for getting pregnant unexpectedly so young. I'm 33 and have just discovered I am pregnant- didn't have a clue, so accidents are not the preserve of the very young!!

You sound like a sensible young woman, all your reading about what you should and shouldn't do. Find some people in RL as well as mumsnet to support you.

All the best.

I've been cramping for weeks but today, I haven't been feeling anything... is that normal?

Well I have no idea what normal is anymore! If you search this website for older threads about cramps, or pretty much any other symptom you can think of, it only leaves you feeling astonished at how differently each woman's body reacts to pregnancy! Depending on your mood it can either be reassuring or totally freak you out. I was convinced I couldn't be pg if I didn't have every single symptom straight away, but now I feel like I've been pg FOR EVER (actually only found out 8 days ago) and things are only coming on really gradually. Are you feeling any other symptoms?

For what it's worth, I had cramping pretty much constantly from a few days before I missed my period to a few days after, and now it's just coming and going. I guess maybe the uterus practices stretching for a while and then rests? How scientific haha.

How are you getting on with the other things you have to think about? I'm sure your dr will be willing to talk through the immunisations with you. Is there like a student services person at your new college who you could call and talk to about things like being a student parent, whether you could delay the immunisations etc?

I was in a similar position but was 22. Me and DP been together four years when I found out I was pregnant in July. Was going into my third year of uni, and I knew my parents would disapprove.

The best thing I can say is you and your boyfriend tell your parents together. Make it clear you want to keep the baby, if you do, and you are going to do it together. My mum was fuming, said she would never talk to me again. I think it took her three months to ring me, but then she was 100% supportive and loves her grand-daughter. They will change and if they don't, more fool them. Don't let anyone pressure you into doing anything you don't want. Tell them face to face if you can, it took me 3 hours though!

I would also email your college and ask if they make special provisions for pregnant students/with children. It happens more often than you think. If you want to live together (I can't remember whether you said you are sorry) then put an application in to your council for housing. This will be on their website, or you can phone up. Do this ASAP as waiting lists are long.

There's been lots of good advice about foods, vitamins etc, just phone your doctor to make an appointment.

It will be hard doing college, but you will get through it. I intend going back to do my third year in September because I will get special grants for childcare. You will feel better the example you are setting for your child and not 'resentful' if that makes sense.

With the cramping, totally normal I freaked out about it until 12 weeks though. Only if your bleeding with it is it a worry. Even then, it might not be anything to worry about.

Best of luck and congratulations. Your boyfriend sounds lovely for sticking by you. This is a great board, I miss it now! Everything you think of, someone has asked the question so I didn't feel so stupid!

Sorry, I didn't realise you was in the US. I'm not sure about housing there sorry, maybe ask around?

Okay well I have always tracked my period on an app on my iPod and that app got deleted by accident so I thought all the info was lost but I just re-downloaded it and it had saved everything! So it's actually been 7 weeks and three days since my last period. That's almost two months pregnant! Anyways, I will have to talk to the people at the college I'm planning to attend because I know that they didn't make my sister get her shots. They just told her to get them if there happens to be an outbreak of anything. So hopefully they will let me attend without getting them. Either way, I'm definitely NOT getting the immunizations while I'm pregnant because of the risk. And yes, mt boyfriend and I plan on somehow getting the money together to get our own place before the baby comes. I would feel like a burden waking my mom and stepdad and step brother up every night with a screaming baby. My college is a small community college so there isn't any living on campus or anything and I doubt they have any childcare services. Splinters, how far along are you? And the only symptoms I've had are missed period (obviously lol), CRAMPS and occasional lower back aches (especially when I'm at work) and I get nauseous randomly throughout the day but not to the point where I throw up. It actually isn't that bad. I haven't thrown up even once. The worst thing is the cramps. They're constant! Except today they haven't been.

Oh and another symptom (I don't know HOW I forgot it) my breasts are SUPER sore!! They've been sore for about three weeks now and they're swollen, too.

Getting the money together to move out of your parents' house and start your life as a new family in your own place sounds like an excellent move. I never had a bad relationship with my mum, but I still found it improved a lot once we no longer lived together!

I'm 5w4d with symptoms pretty similar to yours my breasts are only just starting to get sore though. One thing that kind of surprises me is how I don't feel any kind of emotional connection to the little thing growing down there yet my husband and I have various jokes about how it wants more pizza etc, but I don't yet feel like there's a person inside me. I always supposed that if you weren't utterly distraught about being pregnant you might feel that sort of emotional connection straight away, but not in my case..

I don't feel any attachment to mine, either. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one lol. My appointment is Tuesday so maybe when I see the ultrasound, I will feel differently.