First pregnancy, you must be excited?

[Leah1802]

hi everyone! Just wanted some advice/ support on all those pregnancy emotions.
I'm 10 weeks pregnant with my first. Only been with partner for few months so it's all a bit crazy. I realise that people and society think it's probably madness we are having this baby after only a few months together, but we are certain we can make it work and we are very much in love and excited about having our own family.

My problem is, why cant I get excited about it now? We have told friends and family, and the general response is 'that's amazing! You must be so excited?'. But the truth is I'm not excited. We have been shopping for baby presents for friends who are expecting, but even that didn't bring about any excitement in me.

It's causing problems with OH as he thinks I must be having regrets. He is I should mention incredibly supportive and I know how lucky I am. I can't wait to be a mum!

But why don't I feel excited about pregnancy?

It is impossible to sustain excitement for days/weeks/months. I think Ed Byrne did a sketch about this wondering if he should be greeting his newborn child with balloons and party poppers!

When I was pregnant I sometimes felt excited, sometimes bored, sometimes nervous etc etc. Just tell your OH that you are excited to be haing the baby, but you are feeling a normal range of emotions day to day.

dont worry leah

I remember having my 1st and wasn't excited at all, just petrified and pretty depressed tbh! anyway, a few months down the line I got excited and looked forward to having him and then it was great, I enjoyed the kicks and the funny movements he did and it got even better when he was born. ds is now 3 and wonderful, I've had dd since then and will be trying for my 3rd this dec hopefully.

Chill, take it easy, remember everyones different and you may not get excited at all right til the end or not even til he is a few months old after the sleep deprivation and ohmygodImamum feeling wears off a bit lol.

congrats and much love

Totally agree! I thought I would LOVE being pregnant, but nope! Some excitement, lots of anxiety, lots of feeling fed up and lots of "I'm so f***g fed up" moaning. You arent "supposed" to be feeling excited, so dont worry or feel guilty. I suspect ALOT of people feel like you, but feel like no else does, so are embarrassed to say! When I questioned friends who'd had babies, only one of them said they loved being pregnanat and felt thrilled the whole way through. Most of them said they didnt like it, and couldnt get that excited until the baby was born!

This is my first too and I don't feel excited either, combination of feeling really anxious about it and pregnancy niggles making me long for it to be over-I've got 16 days until my scheduled section, I don't think I'll be excited until I meet the baby and know its okay I think, I was really surprised when I asked my friends with children if they enjoyed being pregnant and the answer was pretty much no all round!!

Hi Leah,
I didn't feel excited at first either. It was a bit of a shock, my hormones were all over the place and I suppose it didn't feel real that early on.
You might start to feel excitement when you have a scan or you feel the first kicks.
Try not to worry about how you should be feeling though. Everyone is different and it doesn't mean that you won't bond with your baby once he or she arrives!

Early pregnancy is really hard going, morning sickness, tiredness like you didn't think was possible, head aches and the rest so your not going to be excited while feeling crap! I'm expecting my first DC and some days i feel so excited other days I feel rough and fed up, and all the hormones going through your body will make you experience all sorts of moods/emotions

Hi, I was in a similar situation to you. I had an unplanned pregnancy only 6 weeks into a new relationship. I didn't feel excited! I didn't feel much of anything, just got through each day. FWIW, new relationship lasted, we are married, DS has just turned 6 (!) and we have another (planned this time) on the way. I love DS more than anything and my feelings during pregnancy had no lasting effect on our bond.

I'm now 24 weeks and sometimes I feel moments of excitment but mostly, my back hurts!

I found it odd being pregnant and not feeling like how they show on tv/movies. That 24/7 glowing buzz of pregnancy....hmmm....I just felt 'meh' for most of it.

I imagine it must be pretty wearing to be constantly buzzing for 9 months.

My pregnancy was very much planned, and DH and I had been together 10 years and I still got pig sick of "are you excited?" questions. You could start thinking up some comedy responses, if nothing else to keep yourself entertained.

Congratulations! A friend of mine got pregnant a few months into a new relationship. Her DC1 is now nearly 3 and she had their (planned) DC2 in February. They've had their ups and downs, but so do most new parents.

I can't say I loved being pregnant with either of my 2 DCs. I did have days when I was excited, but with DC1 I couldn't imagine me having a baby. When I started feeling her move it got easier.

Don't panic! The first few months will seem a little unreal. They did for me, however i was only nearly 15, my boyfriend left me and apart from my jay i was totally alone. I spent three months in denial i was having a baby, when i went for my first scan i fell in love my beautiful little baby. She is 20 now and a mother to four, there was no way anyone was telling me otherwise this was my baby and i was guna have my baby. When i was 16 weeks i told my parents. But dont give up believing in the baby and ur partner xxx
Good luck
XxxxxxxxX

Thanks everyone. Your comments have really helped me. I think my ideas of pregnancy have been shaped a lot by pregnancy on tv and films. But actually mine isn't anything like that at all! x

I'm afraid, unlike films, that labour won't involve your waters breaking dramatically, a few big pushes and then a baby appearing!

Each time I've been pregnant, I've not really believed it until I've had a bump, but even then I still look at my son and can't believe that I was pregnant and gave birth to him!

I was totally unexcited and actually couldn't stand being pregnant....so bloody boring. I think it was because I had no idea what to expect. I didn't know what my little girl was going to be like. If I was to time travel, I may be more enthusiastic (for a couple of minutes in the last couple of weeks).

Other people are so excited for you because it reminds them of when they had their kids. BTW I noticed that men were much more excited than women...is it because they really only get the good bits, not the boredom of pregnancy? Pregnancy is dull, dull, dull.

PS Congratulations!!! It'll all change once the baby is born. Today my little girl just looked up and smiled at me when feeding and I actually started crying as I realised how lucky am I.