What would you do?

[Gagagalaxy]

I'm so sorry to be clogging this board with bleating threads about toxiplasmosis (well this is my 3rd this week). This is a long one so please bear with me.

Basically, I have been feeling very anxious this week about toxo since eating food that my husband had touched (specifically cheddar) after gardening with no gloves on. He did wash his hands and have a shower and i used it a while after. I also had a pinkish steak in a restaurant incident the other week after ordering it well done, sending it back a couple of times, thinking it was fine but then looking down after enjoying most of it to find out what i was eating was still a bit pink.

I went to the GP who said they wouldn't do a blood test and that I would be absolutely fine and to stop worrying.

I feel much better now the week has gone on and realise i was being over anxious and that the risks are very low. However, I have found a place near me that will do the blood test privately for me. They originally said it would be £60 and then when I asked more questions about time it takes to get results and how they can distinguish for definite between antibodies that show immunity and antibodies that show recent infection they came back with some detailed answers but the cost is either £120 for a 5 day turnaround or £180 for a 2 day turnaround.

If the test results come back positive I would need a further blood test 2 weeks later to check that the titres had gone up which would show if the infection was before pregnancy (and I would therefore be immune) or recent.

So in short, I don't know whether to have the test or not. I realise that the chance of getting toxo during my pregnancy is so low and kind of expect the test to be either negative or show immunity. But I'm scared because if I am immune then I will obviously get a positive result first and then have to wait 2 weeks to see if I am immune or not and that will be terrifying. (oh and the second test would incur further charger of which they haven't stated).

On the other hand, I'm scared that if I don't have it and get toxo something awful could happen to my baby. I'm scared that I'll never know and then something will develop in the baby after it's born or worse i'll have a stillbirth.

DH thinks I should just forget about it and carry on as normal. I feel like I've got this HUGE decision to make and don't know what to do.

If you've read this far, well done!

Basically I just want to know what you would do in this situation. Test or no test?

Mumsnet has been a big help to me this week so thanks in advance!

Oh I'm 21 weeks by the way

Stop worrying

dont panic, try and relax. These things, may cause harm, but the likely hood is small. I know it#'s hard to relax in pregnancy, but sometimes you have to stop worrying as the stress is far worse for the baby!

I'm 4+6 with my first and finding it so hard to have faith that such a tiny vulnerable little thing will really make it all the way to being a healthy baby. But galaxy, I don't think you'll find a single person, not one (unless they happen to run a private toxo clinic and want your money) who will hear what you say here, from the outside, and think that you need to be worried.

I don't want to scare you more, but think about this. All food has germs on it, everything everything probably carries some kind of minuscule risk, but we have to eat! Salad vegetables actually grow outside, sitting in the soil for much longer that your dh, and they certainly don't get a hot shower before I eat them! I wash them the best I can, and then I eat them because I think the risk to my baby from not eating a healthy diet is more than the risk that I haven't washed off every single germ.

There are also some interesting tales on here from far more experienced mners/mothers than me that might help you put things in perspective a bit. Things I have read in the last few days include: one poster whose (v sensible-sounding, imo) midwife said that if a pregnant woman was really desperate for a bit of pate, to get a sealed container from the chilled food section of a good supermarket and enjoy it; one who was worried about getting toxo from her cat (iirc) and whose dr expressed the likely risk by advising her 'not to eat cat poo'; others who have spent years living with cats/gardening/being archeologists/eating raw meat and still aren't immune because they've still never been exposed to toxo.

Good luck, op. I'm trying to use my own worries to get used to the feeling and try to put things in perspective, because we're about to become parents, and now we have to spend the rest of our lives watching our babies do dangerous stuff we'll have minimal control over!

So is that advice to have the test or not have the test?

I would LOVE to stop worrying!

Please try and calm down. The risk is so, so miniscule that it's not worth worrying about, and certainly not worth paying such a vast amount of money for.

What would i do? Well, I definitely wouldn't have the test, for a start!
But then I'm gardening with no gloves on myself, at 21 weeks. Just washing my hands thoroughly with an antibacterial handwash afterwards.

The best thing you can do is distract yourself, try and relax, and put all thoughts of paying for this ludicrously expensive blood test out of your mind. Perhaps spend some of the money you would have spent on the test on getting a nice relaxing massage, or facial?

Crossed post splinters. Thanks for the reply.

So I see it's a resounding get over it woman and don't bother with the test do far

If it helps - I have a cat, had her since a kitten. We had to wipe her bum to start with as she wasn't great at it. She now hunts regularly and catches and eats all manner of wildlife..... but I am still not immune!! I had a test just before I got pregnant (now 28 weeks) plus I had other cats as a child.
So I really really really think you are worrying unnecessarily.

The (in my opinion) very expensive tests will not give you the peace of mind you are looking for. Instead I think you need to look at ways to relax your mind and body so that you can provide the best environment for your baby to grow in.

I echo msEliza's suggestions of getting a massage, doing some yoga or just meeting up with some sensible mates and just having a good old giggle.
Failing that, find a nice film and big bar of chocolate and have that. Far better way to spend £ than some test chocolate is always the answer xx

Thanks so much for reading and for your replies ladies.

The worry isn't so much the money it's more the wait in between if it comes back positive for antibodies to see if it's showing immunity or not.

Galaxy - the resounding advice in response to one of your earlier posts was that you should speak to your GP with a view to getting a referral to a psychologist/psychiatrist to help you with your anxiety. Have you done this yet?

If you manage to stop stressing about toxo (be it due to a negative test result or whatever), you will no doubt just replace it with another concern. This wastes so much energy and drags you down. Please seek help.

I, for one, do not think you should get the toxo test. You are worrying unnecessarily.

Gaga you poor love...I really think the risks are very, very low. I have a cat who comes and sits on my bed, my belly, my head - I am positive her bottom is not always completely disinfected

I read your other thread and genuinely if I was your GP, I'd be more interested/concerned in your level of anxiety about this, than the minuscule potential of infection :) I honestly say that with the best will in the world. Telling you to just not worry is not going to help - it's obviously playing on your mind so much.

Your anxiety levels and stress and worrying is not going to do you and your baby any good either so there's some good advice about learning to relax, a massage - maybe even if a one of hypnotherapy session? My community midwife team has one lady who specialises in anxieties around being pregnant, and reducing stress levels - perhaps you would have something similar?

Really stop worrying.

I have 3 cats that shit in the litter tray and the garden. I always cleaned the litter trays out and picked their shit up when I was pregnant. My DS now plays with them with no side effects at all.

Don't waste your money. Get something nice for yourself instead

No way I'd pay that for a test. You're fine! Test will not help you or baby at all and that wasted money could go on something useful, or nice, like a night away with your oh. You'd be mad to pay that for something so unecessary imo. Try to worry less! x

don't do it! testing will cause you much more anxiety while you wait for results and then you have the fun of interpreting the results which may or may not actually tell you what you want to know.

and anyway, what would you do if the test came back with a positive?

your DH washed his hands AND had a shower

most pg women end up eating slightly pink steak at some point! the major risk with undercooked meat is meat that's undercooked on the outside, not the inside

quite understandable that you are worrying about stuff but believe me, there are plenty of things to worry about in pregnancy and getting worked up over a miniscule risk is really a waste of your energy.

Sweetpea I did speak to my GP who was very unsympathetic and unhelpful. I'd never seen her before (you just ring up for available appointment and it could be with any GP).

undercooked steak I mean

For the price of the test, you could have a one off session with a private therapist - and god, I'm not saying you're crazy or anything :) Hypnotherapy is wonderful - so relaxing, so calming, it helped me massively at the beginning of my pregnancy when I was obsessively worried that someone would break in and hurt us. I was obsessed! I wouldn't have any windows open and screwed in two large bolts myself on the door!

Just this really speaks very loudly of anxiety - the obsessive worrying, the irrationality of it. Help yourself more by seeing someone for a one off session that will help you deal with this kind of obsessive worrying than a blood test ever will.

You need to speak to your midwife and get a referral this is more than normal worrying

And that wait would be hellish, I know.

Just for comparison, and purely from my own experience, when I was on the first term of my study abroad year at university, I suddenly realised that when I went home at Christmas I would have to get an HIV test in order to get a visa for my next country. The slight unhappiness I still felt at losing my virginity a few years earlier, when I didn't really feel ready to and to a guy I didn't stay with for long, suddenly turned into a massive terror that I had HIV (we'd had sex once, with a condom ffs). I cried and threw up and couldn't work or sleep for about a week. Eventually I went to the student health centre and they said, you really don't need to worry, but we'll do the test if it makes you feel better.

A week later I had a negative test result. I didn't feel a big sense of relief. I'd already stopped crying and throwing up, but I didn't feel anything like as much happier as I'd thought I would. Actually it turned out that it was other things in my life that needed dealing with, not the utterly minute possibilty (not really much of a possibility at all) that I might have HIV.

I hope you don't feel patronised op. This is really a very long-winded way of agreeing with ladygagoo: "The (in my opinion) very expensive tests will not give you the peace of mind you are looking for. Instead I think you need to look at ways to relax your mind and body so that you can provide the best environment for your baby to grow in."

I read your other thread and I agree with other posters here who say that the level of worrying you're experiencing is not normal.

This isn't really about the test (which I don't think you should have) -you need to speak to your midwife if the GP is not helping, and tell her that you're struggling with serious anxiety. She should be able to refer you and help you with ways of dealing with it.

Thank you very much for your replies everyone. You're all so helpful!

I bet I sound bats don't I! I'm a 30 year old woman with a degree, a house, a husband and a good job and yet Im acting like a right plonker.

It is honestly such a huge help writing on here. I've never written on a forum like this before I was pregnant but it's amazing how much of a help people can be to get you to put things in perspective! And the counselling advice has definitely been taken on board - just talking to you ladies has helped immensely. And seeing my worries written down makes me realise how ridiculous I'm being.

I suppose my main issue is I think that if I didn't have the test I would be doing my baby a disservice and if they ended up blind or deaf or worse I would feel so guilty that it was my fault that they ended up that way all because I didn't bother doing anything about it. This is still the crazy talking isn't it!

I don't think you sound bats - I know, I am one

I think hormones, being overwhelmed with the enormity of pregnancy and the responsibility as it sinks in can all add to very normal worries manifesting themselves as one thing that can seem very, very real.

I don't think telling you to just stop worrying is going to help. Otherwise, you would! Haha :)

Like I said, at 6 weeks I was CONVINCED someone was going to break in. I would literally sit on the edge of chair, waiting for the sound of the door being kicked in or a window being smashed :( I don't know why I suddenly fixated on that - I'd never worried about it before. It's really no different to your worry - what is actually a risk - albeit VERY tiny - becomes huge. But because it is based in some semblance of reality i.e. it has happened to someone, somewhere, it's hard to let go of and see your worries for what they are.

Really - do yourself a favour, spend your money on relaxation sessions, or see someone who specialises in anxieties. It will do you the world of good.

Hey hon.

Firtsly, I really feel for you as you sound v. worried and that is not nice.

IMHO - you should NOT have the test. It is a total waste of money considering the likely risks to your baby.

And if I am totally honest, I don't think it will make you feel better even if you had the test. I think your real issue here is anxiety NOT toxcoplasmosim (sp?) and that you would be better spending your time and energy dealing with this issue. I suspect that even if you did get the test and it came back clear you would start worrying obsessively about something else.

And please don't beat yourself up about it - anxiety problems are serious and are taken seriously by health care professionals now. Really hope you get it sorted.