Pregnant after miscarriage, when did you tell people?

[cinderellabelle]

Last year i had 2 mmc and all my colleagues knew (only work in a small environment so am close to most and had time off so was subject to gossip), my family and close friends.

Am now pregnant again had my 12 week scan today which was amazing and showed all is great but i still feel very hesitant to share the news.
Only a small number of friends, and family know and we haven't told our 4 yr old DD.

I said before i wanted to keep it quiet till around 16 weeks but now i've had a scan i want to shout it to everyone but why am i still reluctant?

Anyone had a similar experience?

Meant to say also as helpful and supportive as DH is he just says its my call and will shout our happy news or keep quiet?!

Hi cinderellabelle - I'm really sorry to hear of your losses. Congratulations on your pregnancy!

My siutaiton is a little similar - I had a MMC last year and am now pg again. I told my colleagues at 16 weeks - and was nervous then to bring it up. In fact I only told them then as I'd had to have a few days off sick which isn't like me and I wanted to explain why. I work in a team of 12 and they'd known about my pregnancy last time as I lost the baby at 14 weeks after my 12 week scan. They'd all been so excited for me I was nervous to let them know, in case they were also disappointed if anything went wrong... if that makes any sense?!

They have all been tremendously supportive (am now 26 weeks) and in hindsight I could have told them straight after the scan. So I guess my (long-winded!) point is go with your instincts and let them know if it feels right. You can always explain that you've only just started telling people so you appreciate their discretion? I'm sure they will be thrilled for you!

I had an mc followed by an mmc last year. When I became pregnant again we didn't tell anyone bar my best friend. We finally told my mum a few days before the 12 week scan to ask if she'd mind DD for us. We told family after the scan went well. I told work at 16 weeks. Its entirely up to you what you feel comfortable with.

I was very eagre to tell my family after the 12 week scan, DH wanted to wait to tell his family at 14 weeks so we could tell them on Christmas. However everyone else I was very reluctant to tell, in fact I pretty much didn't tell anyone else - it was down to them to hear the gossip and ask, which meant some people not realising I was pregnant until I was already 7 or 8 months gone (I didn't show until quite late on). Maybe it's weird but there's some people I really enjoy discussing it with - DH in particular - and just feel really happy and excited. Yet there's a lot of people where I almost feel dread and anxiety and actively do not walk to talk about my pregnancy to. I've no doubt it's because of the circumstances in which things went wrong last time and all that remaining past hurt.

Hi Cinderellabelle,

congratulations on your wonderful news!
i had 2mmc's, one last year and one at the end of the previous year. with this pregnancy (now 21 weeks) we didn't really keep it very quiet, partly becauseeveryone knew we were trying again so babies were frequently talked about but also becasue i knew if i lost the baby i would tell those people anyway because i would need their support so by week 12 everyone knew apart from my boss and my 3 year old son.

it's such a personal thing but the fact that you have reached week 12 is really posititive and the chance of keeping the baby has increased significantly so i think if you want to tell people then you should go for it!!

H xx

I have only just started volunteering the news at 21 weeks. I just wasn't comfortable. I told my team around 16 weeks as it affects them but wasn't very comfortable about it. Slowly but surely feeling more confident and slightly more comfortable telling people. Also it is fairly obvious so denial needs to stop sooner or later

I had a mmc in march and like u I work in a small place and was so excited I told them all. Both are entire families knew and a few friends. Hated so many people knowing when it all went wrong. This time I'm planning on waiting until at least 16wks, if I get that far since I've had an early scan that didn't look to good. But uve had a good scan everything's fine maybe wait a week or 2 for it to sink in with u and then shout to the world