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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

'No kids at the scan' rule - do they enforce it at your hospital?

25 replies

Gingerbreadlatte · 15/06/2012 12:25

So, get a letter with scan appointment saying don't bring other kids as they will have to wait outside with your companion and definitely cannot come into the scan room.

I totally understand and support this as the scans are not for fun but for medical reasons.

At both my 12 and 20wk scans people have turned up with all manner of kids in tow (with partners etc who could have waited outside so its not that they didn't have a choice but to take the kids in) and have gone into the scans with the children of an age that might well be disruptive.

Why don't they enforce the rules? Seems a bit unfair to those who make the effort to find childcare....

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TinkerMaloo · 15/06/2012 12:31

No they dont at mine, they let me take in my daughter (20 months) and she sat still and quiet as a mouse on her dads knee. I think that a noisy kid or gaggle of 3 year olds would be a different matter though.

The sonographer is doing an important job and will not be able to work with disruptions so I understand the general rule, but I think most places make exceptions, and it would be a shame for the father of the baby to not be there because he had to sit in the waiting room with a quiet well behaved child (as it was in my case)

Childcare was not an option for us, she had never been left with anyone aside from me or her daddy (no family or friends available anyway) and it would be cruel to dump her with a total stranger...

blackteaplease · 15/06/2012 12:33

My clinic has a big box of toys in the waiting room! I have taken dd in for one of my scans when we had no choice but would rather go child free. I guess they say it to stop everyone bringing along their kids.

OyOfMidWorld · 15/06/2012 12:46

At my local hospital we are advised that children will not be able to go into the appointment and that space is limited. In practice what happens is that children are asked to wait outside with the person accompanying the pregnant woman. They are then invited in to have a peek at the baby for the last few minutes once all the checks etc have been done.

I understand that some people have childcare problems so taking them along is unavoidable, but some families seem to see the appointments as cause for a family outing. Last time I went there was a woman with 3 other adults and 4 children. The waiting area is small and there were heavily pregnant women standing up while the children climbed all over the seats. There are no toys for children in the area, presumably to discourage their attendance.

ElizabethWindsorPonsonby · 15/06/2012 13:01

My local hospital simply states that 'your well behaved children are welcome to attend'

Bag of sweets kept dd happy

debdee · 15/06/2012 17:19

Had I not taken my children to my scan I would have had to pay a lot of money I couldn't afford in childcare. It fell on a day when DH would be off work with the children so would have had to send them to nursery & pay for 'lunchtime' club as well as the sessions because of the time it fell or DH would have missed out on scan. For 20 week scan its morning so my mum can look after them. If not we would have paid for a morning nursery session for the smallest while our 4 yr old would have come with us as its a much longer scan & I'm not sure DD would be able to sit quietly for so long. My kids are well behaved though even though they are at an age where they could be seen as potentially disruptive.

OddBoots · 15/06/2012 17:25

I don't think they enforce it but they do ask for you to think about the possibility of being given bad news during the scan and the impact that may have on a child.

BettyandDon · 15/06/2012 17:27

Yeah I had to leave DD outside with DH. They said the sonographers needed to have silence...

maybenow · 15/06/2012 17:29

i wouldn't be able to face caring for children during the appointment if the scan news was bad and the pregnancy wasn't viable. and if the pregnancy was viable but had a condition or disability then i'd find it hard to concentrate on taking in the information and any decisions required.
maybe i'm a worrier but i'm just aware that scans are not always happy occassions

DonnaDoon · 15/06/2012 17:30

Ginger I agree totally with you. I had my 20 wk scan today and made the effort to find childcare for my others after the letter clearly said no children allowed but lo and behold other people were taking kids in...It did feel rather unfair but I couldnt be bothered to query it with the staff as they are probably stuck between a rock and a hard place on the matter.

Buntingbunny · 15/06/2012 17:42

DD1 came to mine, it's only since being in MN I've even thought about it. DH was abroad and anyway she'd have come anyhow.

I guess if had been bad news I'd have just either lied or told her. At 2.5 you cry and move on at bad news.

Blu · 15/06/2012 17:56

Having had a very difficult 20 wk scan that left DP and I terrified and me almost hysterical I am very pleased that we didn't have a toddler with us needing attention. We needed to talk and decide what to do, amnio, no amnio, think, talk to each other.

But obviously people cannot always find childcare, and will have to do their best to keep the child quiet and still.

Perhaps the hospitals really wish to deter the 'family outing' approach.

WantAnOrange · 15/06/2012 19:18

Our local hospital asks people not to bring their children if they can avoid it in the letter but I asked over the phone, said DH would take him out the room if any problems and they were fine with that. He's nearly 6 so not a toddler who may play up.

It was a really positive experience for him and the sonographer was FAB. He asked her loads of questions and I think she enjoyed telling him all the technical stuff, which parents aren't really interested in! She showed him a close up of the hands and feet and he counted the fingers and toes to make sure baby had the right amount.

That said, it is a medical procedure and if at any point I thought he was being a pain or distracting her from her work, I would have asked him to be quiet or got DH to take him out the room.

SauvignonBlanche · 15/06/2012 19:24

I'm delighted that I wasn't allowed to take DS1 to my scan for DS2's scan as we found out he had died.
Whilst this is very rare and I would hate to scare anyone, it is important to remember that whilst for the majority this is a positive experience, there is a chance you could hear something devastating that you need to focus on 100%.

BikeRunSki · 15/06/2012 19:32

At my hospital they do the scan with mother and birth partner first. If everything is ok, then older siblings are allowed in. We brought a friend along (his idea) to sit with 2 yo DS in the waiting room so DH could come in with me. I have no idea what they do if you turn up by yourself with a young child.

DonnaDoon · 15/06/2012 19:32

Im so sorry for your loss SauvigonBlanche x

SauvignonBlanche · 15/06/2012 19:49

Thanks Donna, we've since had DD and consider ourselves very lucky.
DS2's condition was very rare, would hate to frighten anyone.
Hope all goes well for you - congratulations!

PogoBob · 15/06/2012 19:56

DD came with DH and I to my 12 week scan yesterday, however there was nothing saying we couldn't take children and DH would have waited outside with her if it was a problem.

1950sHousewife · 15/06/2012 20:00

I am so sorry for your loss Sauvignon. The same thing happened to my sister when the baby was 12 weeks, and she had her DD (age 4) in with her. It was awful for everyone in the room (so DS tells me). My sister isn't able to hold many emotions in, so DN was pretty distressed by it all.

I can see, unfortunately, why this rule can come about. It would only take a few incidences like that for the sonographers (?is that who does it) to prefer not to have children in there to witness any possible bad news.

SauvignonBlanche · 15/06/2012 20:04

Your poor DN!
I went into shock, I would have hated DS1 to have witnessed that. I couldn't articulate what had happened when I tried to phone the friend who had DS for me, to tell her. I would be late.

SilentMammoth · 15/06/2012 21:00

I went for a routine mw appt at hospital, was referred for urgent scan and got not-good (nowhere near as bad as other people's) news at it. I had my 1 year old with me (expecting routine mw appt, not a scan). It was inconvenient for me, the midwife, the sonographer and the obstetrician. And not ideal for the 1 year. Why people would take children to a planned scan is beyond me.

1950sHousewife · 15/06/2012 21:18

Sauv - I know, I really think it was awful for everyone in the room. And of course then her DH had to take DN out of the room which meant that my Dsis had to cope alone.

It's all fine now, she had a DD about 1 1/2 years later and is very happy. But it made me realise that although it's treated like a 'fun family day out' it's a serious medical test and that unless you can guarantee that all will be well, it might be best to leave the wee ones at home.
I really think if it's hospital policy then it should be respected for that reason. Anyone who would like their DC to meet the baby before it's born should probably pay privately if it is the hospital policy and they aren't happy with it.

I prob would have taken my DD to our 2nd Dcs scan if it hadn't been for my Dsis's experience.

freelancegirl · 15/06/2012 22:30

If you can help it I feel it's best not to take children to such things although I realise childcare can be an issue. As well as the possibility of facing bad news yourself there might be other people there receiving bad news, or terrified because previous scans have not gone well and they're waiting for further investigations. Rationally or not, when people who have lost babies are faced with other people's happy families and smiles in the waiting room it can cause them added distress. I know it feels a shame to have to hold back a little. Even after bad scan experiences myself I have had to be reminded about this by a friend after I finally had good scan news. So now I try to bear that in mind when I go back into the waiting room.

rogersmellyonthetelly · 16/06/2012 08:13

At our hospital they don't allow kids in the main part of the scan but if all goes ok they are allowed to come in for a minute at the end to see the baby .

McKayz · 16/06/2012 08:22

My hospital says not to bring children. I took DS1 in once. I was just having a presentation scan to check DS2's position for homebirth. My Mum was parking the car so was planning on him sitting with her. But before we even got to the waiting room I was called in as the people before me had never shown up. But she said it was fine for him to come in.

He was about 20 months old. The boys haven't been to any of the scans for this baby.

Pochemuchka · 16/06/2012 08:28

At both my DC2's scans my DP waited outside with DD until all the important bits had been done then they both came in for a look at the end. I have no choice but to take them this time too as I'll probably be on my own.

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