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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Is it just me that looks forward to the newborn bit as one of the nicest times?

26 replies

MissCoffeeNWine · 08/06/2012 16:09

I sometimes feel like an alien on the doom and gloom newborn days threads. The whole pre-freeze dinners, get help, have your mother stay, save up films and books etc, try to get out and about when you can, abandon yourself to no sleep and no time to yourself and all of that stuff. Not saying that any or all of that isn't a good idea or necessary and some or all isn't part of lots of peoples experiences. I'm just wondering if there is anyone else who looks forward to those first few months as being the easier, freer, more fun bit when you get more time and space to do stuff, or whether I have backwards experiences of babies?

I'm looking forward to the newborn days as a time when I can get out of the house vastly more than I do now, I would be aiming to spend at least several hours a day out and about after I feel physically recovered. I'll be out lots before then I imagine too, but not so much through choice. I just think of the newborn bit as chance to see friends, have lunches out, travel to see family with the new baby, without having to go to work or face people when massively pregnant. A chance to do all the things it's not easy to do when they want to crawl about like go to the cinema, pubs, restaurants, parties. Spend paternity leave with my OH and as a family. A chance to do all the things I don't get to do because of work and life generally like read, do things round the house, hobbies, without having to watch the all the time in case they eat the electric wire. And getting out and about without having to take a load of stuff with us as they need so little when they are new and what they do need is so small. That kind of thing.

I look forward to when the baby is out as a chance to be far more social, get far more exercise, enjoy life far more and get more days out, trips, outings, and so on, than at pretty much any other time, certainly far more so than in late pregnancy, which I find awful, and much less stressful than dragging a reluctant toddler around places with all their attendant trials and stuff! I know sleep isn't always easy but it isn't at any stage of parenthood surely?

Am I the only one that looks forward to having a newborn like this?

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MrsPlugThePlumber · 08/06/2012 16:17

Um... well, personally I can't relate to your post!

Did you breastfeed? Because I found that cinema/parties anywhere the baby couldn't come was pretty much out for me for a couple of months at the very least.

Probably depends on the baby - if you get one that screams in your face constantly, then all your out-and-about becomes much more stressful.

Original poster

MissCoffeeNWine · 08/06/2012 16:21

I meant taking the baby with you - out and about to the parties, cinema etc. Yes I can see a lot of screaming would be stressful. I just got the lot of screaming later on so maybe I am a little skewed :)

OP posts:

gemma4d · 08/06/2012 16:22

I LOVE having a newborn. I'd happily give them away around age 1 when they get a mind of their own.

Only joking. Just. But yes, babies are easy, toddlers just wear you down. And I just love babies.... did I mention that?

Rosebud05 · 08/06/2012 16:24

If your toddler is at nursery/being looked after by someone else, the newborn bit can indeed be liberating, depending on what type of baby you have.

My ds was an easy-going, portable little thing, and i made the most of meeting friends for lunch, going to exhibitions etc whilst he was tiny.

DD screamed non-stop and wouldn't be put down, so there were a few more limitations on what we could do...

MrsPlugThePlumber · 08/06/2012 16:27

I started to enjoy babies at about 7 months, IIRC.

Maybe the next one will be more portable.

Maybe I'll get enough sleep to actually want to do anything

Original poster

MissCoffeeNWine · 08/06/2012 16:32

Happily I don't have a toddler, which is why I'm planning on making the most of the baby bit before I have to do that part

My DD didn't want to be put down which is one of the reasons I went out and about so much so I didn't need to put her down but wasn't stuck on the sofa going mad.

OP posts:

MrsPaynie · 08/06/2012 16:34

I really look forward to it, but for opposite reasons to yourself op. I love getting to spend time in the house, enjoying family, especially the first two weeks with my husband at home too. It's very rarely we are all in the same place at the same time, with the opportunity to just relax and enjoy each other. I personally couldn't think of anything less relaxing that going to a cinema or lively parties with a newborn, plenty of time for that when they are older.
Newborns aren't newborns for long, I enjoy every moment with mine.

CountryKitty · 08/06/2012 16:41

Hi, I love the newborn stage too! I find the stage between their 1st and 3rd birthday the most trying and restrictive. Am only 7 weeks with DC3, and all going well, can't wait to have a shiny newborn again!

FluffyJawsOfDoom · 08/06/2012 16:43

Please don't take your baby to the cinema I'd be well miffed if I spent £7 on a ticket and had to endure a baby crying or fussing through the film :(

But apart from that, yes and no. I don't think I'll be going out loads because I'll be tired, but I do look forward to the not working bit!

Catsu · 08/06/2012 16:44

Totally agree! I've got 3, my youngest is 9 months and just starting to become hard work (just started crawling!!)
The first few months I absolutely love, get to do loads as they are so portable, especially when bf'ing!
I find the hardest bit is about 1 year to 3 years old when they are very mobile but not old enough to have a sensible conversation with!!

MrsPlugThePlumber · 08/06/2012 16:47

Now I feel ashamed of my grouching!

It's the sleep! If they only slept...!!!

squids · 08/06/2012 16:55

Exactly how I feel, I love the newbie stage. Lots more freedom to enjoy before they are more demanding. A sling and happy and that is all needed for most places.

Original poster

MissCoffeeNWine · 08/06/2012 16:57

I would never let my baby cry or fuss through a film fluffy don't worry. If it did anything other than sleep or feed I'd take it straight out. There are so many showings to choose from though and so many different people in there the new babies aren't the ones you need to worry about generally. Like I say much more disruption from toddlers or children. Though I take them out too, not everyone does. My last trip to the cinema was spoiled by a girl of about 9-10 draped over an adjacent chair kicking her feet constantly. Anyway, my local cinema has daily baby showings. And children's showings, and lights-on showings. And autism-friendly showings. And coffee morning showings and OAP showings and 18+ showings and just about anything else you can think o so everyone can go and hopefully not be disturbed.

Don't feel ashamed MrsPlug I'm just glad there are others who like that bit :)

OP posts:

PestoPenguin · 08/06/2012 16:59

I am looking forward to the newborn bit. Continuous breastfeeding doesn't bother me and I LOVE the smell and squdginess of a newborn. This is the last time I will have one all of my own and I'm so looking forward to snuggling it . I don't find the sleep too hideous. Actually I think it's worse at about 3-4 months when you've been ground down by it and the adrenalin's worn off. I do bedshare with mine and have a v supportive DH who will hold or rock a sleeping or fractious baby in the night that doesn't want to feed and will also get up to change nappies if needed. With some of the DCs at some points we've done shift work. I'm hoping this time not to have a toddler waking in the night too, as that can be hard going.

I agree that breastfed newborns are v portable and I'd take one with me to parties etc (as long as it's not an evening screamer, which only DC2 was, and then only 6-12 ish weeks). Not sure about the cinema, as the noise might be a bit much unless it's a special 'big scream' showing for mums and little ones with the volume low. My experience of most breastfed newborns is that they're either feeding or sleeping, so v unlikely to fuss or annoy anyone else. DH and I certainly went out for dinner as a couple with a breastfed newborn in tow and had a far better time than with an older baby or toddler with us, or trying to find a suitable babysitter for an older baby or under 3 year old.

After the first 6 weeks, my next favourite bit is around 12-18 months, when they are so cute, not yet argumentative, walking & beginning to talk so a tiny bit more independent too. I do love the whole baby bit really. 18 months - 3 years is much less my thing.

Francagoestohollywood · 08/06/2012 16:59

Well my first child, who is very sweet, was an appalling baby. He cried the whole time, slept very little, fed constantly. It was like standing by a bomb, waiting for it to explode. I was also knackered by labour and birth and couldn't walk for days because of a bad episiotomy. I suppose I ws a bit "traumatised" by the becoming a mother thing, and I could have probably enjoyed his babyhood more.

Our second child, dd, was a text book baby. She was laid back, content and slept tonnes. I could take her anywhere. She once came with us to a posh restaurant with friends and slept for 4 hrs.

Mine are now 10 and 8, and I love tiny babies. They are heavenly.

Francagoestohollywood · 08/06/2012 17:01

I love the breastfeeding marathons with babies, provided there is lots of Escape to the country kind of tv programs to watch.

FluffyJawsOfDoom · 08/06/2012 17:02

Baby showings, wow! That's pretty nifty :)

BalloonSlayer · 08/06/2012 17:02

It was scary with my first so I can understand how people don't like it.

My second was a bit of a blur.

My third - yes I loved it. Take the other 2 to school then back home to Homes Under the Hammer, BF and CAKE.

The bit before you start weaning - if you are BF this is - when all you need to go anywhere is you, the baby, a pair of tits and a couple of nappies is just wonderful.

dietcokeandwine · 08/06/2012 22:46

I loved the newborn stage too with both of mine and (God willing) looking forward to doing it all again with DC3 early next year . I definitely found it easier than the toddler stage, although I must admit I was ready to give up the BF by 6/7 months and get my body back a bit. Mind you my babies were both very placid and were brilliant sleepers which I think makes a massive difference as to how much you enjoy the newborn stage - I was getting full nights of sleep from 10:30 till 7am from about 8 weeks with both of them - i can well imagine that if you had a non-sleeping screamer you would NOT enjoy having a newborn.

Wigglewoo · 08/06/2012 23:54

Nooooo I hate babies. Esp newborns. Well hate is a trong word but I just can't stand the insomnia, the crying etc . Much prefer toddlerdom and beyond - about 9 year olds like my dd :)

I'm due to have a c section in 6 days and am dreading the newborn stage. Not a popular thing to say but really really dreading it. Ho hum.

notsoold · 09/06/2012 00:17

My oldest daughter is 18 and our ds is 13...none sleep well as newborns. I only could breasfeed one of them. They cried all the time but stull was the easiest time as a mother.
After going through teenage years and revisiting them with ds I look forward to the newborn stage....

fattyfatfat · 09/06/2012 00:25

i love newborns it is the best bit to me anyway and am quite sad i'll never get it again

Chunkychicken · 09/06/2012 08:56

Although I loved my DD as a newborn (although didn't do the restaurant/cinema bit, didn't want to) I love her just as much at this toddler stage, at 25mo. It is exciting & interesting to watch her learn & hear her say new words every day. Yes, she has always been easy and although there are tantrums, they are few & far between and although we don't go to the cinema or restaurants much anymore (the former, only with a babysitter for DD, the latter to save money, although DD is a delight when we do go) we do lots of things as a family. Plus, as I work 3 days a wk, I can still go out for a coffee with friends etc with my colleagues before collecting her.

I am pg, due in November, and part of my enjoyment of a harder pg this time around comes from my DD's engagement with 'baby'. I know it will be much tougher with two and look forward to my year maternity leave, so I can spend so much time with both.

I guess I'm trying to say, the newborn bit is hard work, & strange & new to so many of us, and compared to some aspects of pg, it is easier, and of course wonderful, but try to enjoy each stage, as you'll never get it exactly the same again! :)

FannyFifer · 09/06/2012 09:00

I miss having a newborn soooooo much. Was also out and about loads when my two were tiny.
My youngest is 2 now and I can't bear the thought of never having another, but that's life i guess.

Herrena · 09/06/2012 09:07

I didn't really enjoy DS1's newborn stage as I spent the first 3 months in a daze, trying to get over the fact that birth (even when practically textbook) felt like the worst thing that had ever happened to me! Plus I thought he was quite boring and non-interactive TBH. I much preferred him at 4 months plus, as he was starting to develop a little personality by then....

Having said that, I am expecting DS2 in 6 weeks' time and am quite looking forward to the fact that for around 4 months, he will be portable and easily entertained (milk/sleep/dangly toys) while I chase around after his brother. So there you go :)

I think my inner control freak is also soothed by the fact that this time I sort of know what's coming, if that makes sense!! I didn't like the feeling of having totally leapt into the unknown ast time round. I am much more informed/relaxed about this one and so I think I'll enjoy it more. Fingers crossed!

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