Baby shower invite!

[slipslider]

I have been invited to a baby shower for my very best friend. Trouble is I am dead against them and refuse to go to anyones. I find them a bit of a rude way to expect gifts and am superstitious not to buy until I am sure of a healthy delivery. I went to my only one a few years ago begrudgingly and was asked where my gift was as I refuse to give gifts until the baby was born. It was all very awkward and I was made to feel bad for not buying anything. I had comments made about me and the mother in question looked disappointed I had not brought anything. I ended up leaving early much to the disgust of others but I couldn't bear the attitude any longer that I had been a crap friend and not bought anything!
I do appreciate that people want to celebrate their expected arrivals but I am unsure of what to do - do I politely refuse the invite as she is aware of my feelings or do I go and grin and bear it and be made to be the most selfish best friend by not buying anything?

It's the whole thing mini pie - I object full stop to american traditions being used here (unless american themselves) and expecting everyone to go along with it...Yes I object to the present but I object wholeheartedly to the shower as most do it to expect gifts which I think is pretty rude! As someone suggested it is named so because you are to 'shower' them with gifts. I think the newest idea is even worse (gender reveal)!!

I like your suggestion of 'its coming when the baby is here' or making a cake...think I shall sleep on it and see what other suggestions come about before I decide x thanks all for the comments!

I'm sharing a baby shower with 3 other people. I was dead against them as it seems a bit grasping. But lots of people want to buy me things and it seems churlish not to accept them without an appropriate thank you, in the form of a little party.
Most people coming have children and they are all going to donate things they don't need any more and that seems sensible to me, and will be very gratefully received.
I'd feel rude asking for stuff.

I wouldn't have a baby shower, as I would feel rude. I don't like asking people for things anyway and just couldn't bring myself to throw a baby shower and expect everyone to bring gifts.
Yet I would happily go to friends shower and give her and the baby a gift, i'm odd like that

If she's your best friend as you say she is, surely you both have an understanding of how each other feels about it? Surely you could just attend and say "I want to wait until the baby is here to give you my present!" in an excited way, so as not to make her feel disappointed? That's what I would do anyway, and who cares what anyone else thinks, it's between you and your best friend at the end of the day.

I have to say, I'm not keen either, but my 2 best mates really want to organise one for me, I think mainly because the dad isn't around and they want to show support. So it's sweet, even if I feel a bit cringey.
They are getting this vintage tea thing and having a marquee in one of their gardens so it will be nice though I'm going to say people don't have to bring presents.
The games make me feel sick though so I have 100% vetoed that.
I think if it's someone you don't know that well, then just say you can't go. If it's a best friend then you should go, or why are you friends? If it's important to them, what does it matter to you? And I agree with whoever said you'll get a gift after the birth.