Am I abnormal? 32 weeks, keep crying, fed up and living like a hermit

[CapuccinoCannoliLover]

This is my second pregnancy and it could not be more different to my first where I was 'glowing', chilled and excited about the baby. I am on Zantac for severe heartburn and I have had pelvic girdle pain for the last four weeks so am not sleeping well. I can't walk far at all, I struggle doing much around the house as it is, so I'm not getting the daily walks that I used to. Car journeys exacerbate the pain so I don't go out much. We asked DH's retired parents for help with DS and they refused saying we were selfish to ask and they have gardening to do!! I have had painful Braxton Hicks since then and I have put on weight because I can't get my normal exercise so this makes me feel even crapper as I am short and this pregnancy showed much sooner than last time as it is. I ventured out with DH and DS over the weekend because of a family function and I wanted to go for my parents, Mum told me that some woman at the bar said how "big I was" and when Mum told her how many weeks I was she said I looked "imminent", I cried again. When I last saw my midwife, at 30 weeks, she said my bump looked big, but she measured it and said it wasn't bigger than it should be. I just don't want to see anyone, not even friends, because the wrong comment would set me off. DH is so excited about the new baby, but I feel really deflated and I am scared that I won't love them when they are born because my pregnancy has been rubbish and I feel negatively towards them because of it. DS is nearly 4 and is being lovely though, I am lucky he is a good boy. Has anyone else had a pregnancy like this? Sorry for inane wittering.

Minus the unhelpful inlaws, I could have written this post. I'm now 38 weeks, but I've been popping Zantac like it's candy for weeks now, and I also have the pelvic girdle pain and the Braxton Hicks. I was a gym bunny, but I haven't been near the place since 16 weeks or so because of the pelvic pain. I feel ENORMOUS, but the doctor says I'm measuring normal. I cry all the damn time, I have no patience with anyone or anything, socializing with anyone is just far too much of an effort, and my only current interest in this baby is getting it the hell out of me. I also feel guilty about my poor daughter, and how I am currently no fun whatsoever. Oh, and my hands and feet are painful and hugely swollen, and we're also in the process of moving - fun times.

My plan is to wait and see how I feel after birth. I'm hoping once she's here, maternal instinct will kick in, but if I continue to feel the way I do now (total disinterest), I'm going back on the anti-depressants as soon as possible. Being like this is unfair on me, but it's doubly, triply unfair on my daughter, husband and poor baby.

Thank you for your post. I feel less alone now. So many people expect you to be happy when pregnant and enjoy eating for two/being big! Its horrid when normally you are so active isn't it. Def agree re DH and DC, I keep trying to put on a brave face for them, but this morning I got woken up by pelvic pain at 4 and cried for about an hour. Thankfully you haven't got long now, I will keep my fingers crossed for you. xx

You too, and yes - it's nice to know I'm not alone.

I feel very similar too. My second pregnancy too, and harder than the first, though not for any major reason (no pelvic girdle pain thankfully). But heartburn, pelvic floor problems, not sleeping well, constant cold, can't exercise, busy at work. Means I am shattered and really not enjoying this pregnancy. I am on anti-deps but I'm having to swap to another kind as they are good for pregnancy but not breast feeding. So I am having to cut my dose at a time I would really rather not.
Sorry that was nothing but a moan but I know how you feel!!

And just to add, you will love the new baby. Maybe not immediately, but that's normal. You will love them just as much as DS.

Thanks JellyMould. x