Can you opt for a C section?

[VodkaJelly]

40 and pregnant, totally unplanned, DP and I were going to have a termination, DP changed his mind driving to the clinic!

Anyway, I have had 3 vaginal births when I was in my 20's and in my prime! I however, cannot face another vaginal birth, all 3 of mine were lengthy (10+ hours) and painful and I dont think I have the strength to go through that again. Can I opt for a C section? I know the risks and the lack of mobility afterwards but I dont think i can go through giving birth again.

Also I am due Christmas Eve, so timing not brilliant, but would I be able to opt for one earlier? the other 3 were all late - 7 days, 10 days and 15 days.

in my area you can. You have to attend a birth choices session at the hospital first and then you have more time to think about it, i think at some point you then see a consultant but bascially here yes. I've read that policy can vary depending on where you live. There is always the option of going private for the birth .

I have, but I had an extremely traumatic first delivery and feel it would be very psychologically damaging to try for a second time for a vaginal birth. When you meet your team, speak to them about your feelings etc and see what they say?

See what your team say. I think given your age they may be more sympathetic, especially if you tell them about considering abortion (I know that was nothing to do with the delivery but they don't need to know that!)

Would also reiterate what blackcat said about private care. I am having a CS due to medical history, had always been told I would but found my NHS consultant was a bit casual about it, saying they would 'let me have a go at VB and just cut me before I tore' . Filled me with confidence that did...

Having had some on-going spotting and getting stressed about it I have gone for private antenatal care with one of the hospital docs. As soon as he heard about my medical history he put me straight down for a section, no ifs no buts, even though the CS will be carried out on NHS. I think there is tremendous pressure on NHS consultants at the minute to avoid sections because of cost and here in NI we are not under NICE guidelines. I thought NICE guidelines said you could opt for CS in England?

Also with CS I think they take you at 39 weeks which means you would at least be home for Xmas!

I think it depends on your hospital and now far they follow the 'guidelines' which say you have a choice

Thanks so much for your replies ladies, I feel so much better knowing that it isnt a blanket "NO", it is not so much as too posh to push more too old to push!

I have private health care through work but not sure if maternity is covered with it, but will check it out in case.

I am terrified about giving birth, although my youngest child is 12 I remember it so well, the pain and how long it took.

FWIW I had no problem requesting a CS this time around (although had an EMCS last time)

I think you can now but from someone who has had one incredibly painful labour which lasted 29 hours, one EMCS and one ELCS I think it really important and only fair that you know th C-Section is no walk in the park.

With my EMCS everything that could go wrong did, I was cut and then they found DD to b stuck in my pelvis Sotho had to use forceps in reverse to pull her out through the incision. Whilst doing this they tore me internally and I ended up with 7 units of blood and plasma. Whilst packing the bleed they touched my bowel which stopped my digestiv system down but thy didn't realise this for a furthe 6 days. I was rushed to intensive care, DD to the nursery. I was put onto oxygen, fluids and yet more blood. I didn't get any better but my stomach distenended to twice my full term bump size, the skin was so painful. After several days of drugs and opinions I was taken for x ray and a scan when they discovered my bowel had stopped working. They had to feed a tube down my nose and round the back of my throat and pump my stomach contents, it was the most uncomfortable experience I have ever had which is saying something considering I was literally at deaths door. It worked and over the next 10 days I slowly improved but couldn't hold my daughter for 10 days nor could I ever try and breastfeed due to the life saving drugs they had to give me. This of cours is very rare bu it does happen and all this is far worse than a lengthy and painful natural delivery. The recovery from a CS in much longer 12 weeks to do any exercise, 8 to drive which may be difficult if you have older children who need to get to school?

I have had a much more straight forward ELCS but as I was older I did find the recovery even harder than the terrible EMCS and my scar still pulls now and DS is 2.5 if I get up to quickly, turn over in the night or do lots of lifting. I am now expecting again which had to be a CS but I am really concerned about my scar this time.

I am not trying to put you off and I agree labour is extremely hard and painful but in my experience CS are worse and harder.

Sorry for typos!

Retromum I think you were amazingly unlucky with your CS and tbh I don't know anyone who has had such a completely horrendous experience That said, the people I know who had difficult sections were those who had Emergencies which is why it annoys me when hospitals are more reluctant to schedule elective sections but end up putting women through hours of complicated labour and then end up doing EMCSs ANYWAY.

Of the last 4 of of my friends to have babies only 1 had a VB, 2 had EMCSs and 1 had ELCS due to medical reason. The 2 EMCSs had a far worse time of it, one of the women had bladder damage and was in hospital for a month, the other just found the whole thing a bit traumatic. It seems to be the mad rush to get the baby out that can cause problems. Surely it makes more sense to schedule ELCSs which can be well staffed and performed in a calm environment. The VB and the ELCS mum were both fine.

I suspect given your age and the fact that you've always gone past dates before, you will find a request for an ELCS is sympathetically treated. You should fully inform yourself beforehand though - an ELCS is not an easy option.

I know people who have had elcs after traumatic labours but I wasn't allowed.

I went to ask for one as my labour with DD1 was very long (65 hours of contractions), OP baby, she was quite big for the size of me and I had an epidural and PPH. I was worried that my next labour would be worse and that I would have a bigger baby because I kept getting told that subsequent babies are! The doctor told me no chance, I don't know, maybe I caught her on a bad day. The MW was fuming that she said no so by that I assume that some women do get the choice.

It worked out for the best for me, as my labour with DD2 was fab so now I'm glad she said no but I would have been FUMING if I'd ended up with emcs!

All you can do is ask, OP. Good luck!

I am down for a CS after an EMCS last time. This doesn't apply to you, VodkaJelly, but I know CS are declined after CS/EMCS if there is not much gap between the births, because there are more risks if the original scar hasn't fully had time to heal before it has to be opened again.

Wow RetroMum1 thanks for sharing your story even though it scared the hell out of me! But you are right that C sections are not walks in the park and any surgery can go wrong. I am really really squeamish and dont do needles, but even that would be preferable to giving birth.

My DC's are 17, 13 and 12 and all walk to school and college so that is not a problem, we live in a smallish town so everything is in walking distance, DP drives so again we will be mobile.

Thanks for the support everyone, will speak to the midwife and put my concerns/fears over to her.