Embarassment

[Pickles77]

Hi all, most of you will know my situtaion now. Im really happy about my pregnancy when im alone, but now im showing im fine with strangers but i find it so embarassing with friends and family even talking or congratulating me in person about the baby. I am not being ungrateful but i cant help feeling they must either think a) gor i feel sorry for her or b) what a silly girl. Its really getting me down today and people say i have nothing to worry about, the parents want to shout it from the rooftops but im finding it so hard. Knocked up and the blokes left her, poor sod. What kind of family will she give a baby? do u know what i mean? Because i still look i think quite young? Oh i dont know Im getting all worked up now!!!!! HELP

I'm not quite sure of your situation, but wanted to say that my mum brought us up alone and was wonderful, and strong, and I'm proud of her and what she did! Your baby is the most important thing, and to make it proud you have to proud of yourself first. Sod everyone else (who prob don't have as bad opinion of you as you think) and concentrate on what's important!

I know it's difficult but you should be so proud of yourself for managing on your own. I bet people just think you're so strong, they'd be far more judgemental if you hadn't gone through with the pregnancy. Keep smiling

Pickles, I haven't read your previous threads, but I can assure you that no-one will be thinking you're silly for trusting a bloke who let you down.

Most people will be full of admiration, there may be a few who will feel pity (but that's because they don't realise that you & baby will be fine together!) and those of us in unsupportive relationships will actually feel a bit of envy that you get to do this, the most amazing and fulfilling experience of your life, without the interference and disappointment that comes from living with a 'dad' who's not committed to his DCs.

You'll be great and any doubts say more about your lack of confidence in yourself than they do about others' attitudes, I promise. Congratulations!

Pickles, the thing is you were in a steady relationship, it's not your fault that he turned out to be an unsupportive twat!

There is a girl at my work who had a one night stand with her best friend who is in the army, and guess what, she got pregnant with twins! she is going ahead with the pregnancy and we are all very proud of her determination in the face of a very difficult situation, not at all judging her for being a single parent but understanding how strong she must be to have made her decision to go ahead and take on the challenge! I actually think people will respect you.

Have you spoken to your midwife and told her your situation? There will be pregnancy support groups in your area she can tell you about. Where you can meet other ladies who are in similar situations. Also there will be a service like that when you move home. I'd advise you to try something like that because you could make some lovely life long friends through a group like that where others know exactly what you are going through. Plus they will have babies at the same time as you and they can be friends too!

Thanks guys feel bit better now just don't think it helps that the folks have broadcast it as apparently 'I'm sensitive' I think I'd have rather said myself. Mrswee that's a great idea, do I wait until my next appointment or can I just call up?

I would just call her up and if you can't get her then leave a message for her to call you back. She may not even have thought about it as your xp has gone with you to appointments. These groups will have a support worker who will be able to help you with practical advice and emotional support too and they will have seen and heard it all before and a lot worse!

Thanks it all should help x

Pickles - un Mumsnetty hugs to you.

I felt EXACTLY the same when I was pregs with DS. He was unplanned, I was at uni (MA), and I was 22. I felt like a right dickhead. I was in an unhappy relationship (of 8 months!) that I wish I had ended at the time (rather than 3 years later).

I felt young and judged (I don't think anyone ACTUALLY did judge me, I was my harshest critic - we mums always are ).

But! There is hope! Once I had DS I felt amazing just because he needed me so much. You will feel better in time - promise

Badgerina you just summed up how I feel completely and I feel like I can't act happy as I'll be judged for that when in fact it's just me judging myself! It's very hard but I feel I have to do it before someone judges me and I end up hurt again.
I think that will make sense to you as u seemed to sum it up for me. Thanks everyone for the good advice x