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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Unplanned baby

17 replies

Cbell · 02/06/2012 13:43

I've just this morning returned from holiday and found out I'm pregnant. Nothing as exciting as a holiday romance! This will be my and DH second child. Our DD is just 17 months.

I feel...
FUCKING terrified. Not sure if it's permissible to swear but the situation calls for some strong language. I have a coil. We have a baby so are not sex pots. Hubby is talking about abortion. Not sure how I feel about this idea.

The first time I found out I was pregnant was such a happy time and it already feels like this one is......

Feel like shocked shit

OP posts:
Safmellow · 02/06/2012 13:45

Well you are probably in shock at the minute so I wouldn't make any snap decisions. Give yourself time to sleep on it first, and make sure you see your GP asap about your coil. I had a friend who got pregnant on the coil too so it obviously isn't fail safe! I would say the best thing to do is to talk it out with your hubby and anyone else in RL that you can trust, but in the end go with your gut instinct.

ninani · 02/06/2012 14:24

17 months is a good time to be expecting another one! When the baby comes your older one will be 2 years old which according to many other women on mumsnet is a perfect gap for children. They get to play with their sibling isntead of clinging on to you when they are toddlers. When your eldest will be at school you will have a toddler to take with you at school run and not a baby whose nappy you might have to change the last moment, take a buggy with you etc.

If this time is again a happy one for your don't do something that you really don't want to do. You might regret it later.

SayHelloToMyLittleFriend · 02/06/2012 14:39

Just wanted to say that I was in a similar position. I found out I was pregnant when my dd was 15 months old and I was terrified, I honestly didn't think I would manage with another baby.

I'd been so happy when I found out I was pregnant with my first and if I'm honest it took me a while to feel happy about my second pregnancy, I just felt utter fear when I thought about two babies. Give yourself some time to think about it, it is a shock and you need time to decide what you want to do.

JeSuisMargaux · 02/06/2012 14:44

This reply has been deleted

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BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 02/06/2012 14:56

We obviously don't know your personal situation.

But our ds1 was nearly 5 when ds2 arrived. We put off having another for so long because having a child takes up so much of your love and time, we didn't think we would cope with another.

Let me tell you-it really is soooo much easier second time around. It's different to having your first, but you know what to expect now. You know it's not all flowers and rainbows. You'll have a much more realistic approach to the new baby.

Now I'm no mother nature and I don't find parenting easy, all day, every day. Today in fact I'm having a shockingly bad day.

However, we found having two easier so much easier than expected that I am now 18 weeks of with dc3. Ds2 is nearly 11 months.

You obviously need to take a little time and discuss things with your dh if he has already mentioned abortion-but from someone who has two, I can tell you it's not that bad. And you would love your dc2 just as much as your dd.

KatieMiddleton · 02/06/2012 15:12

You are one sick puppy JeSuis bringing your spam to a thread like this.

DanyTargaryen · 02/06/2012 15:42

I know how you feel, I have just found out I am pregnant with number 2 and DD is only 11 months, but DP seems happy about it. I think I am too but we'll just take it as it comes

Cbell · 02/06/2012 16:00

Thanks for the feedback. We wont be rushing into any decisions. I just shouldn't have taken the test today. It wasn't a good moment to think of baby number two. My DD is ill at the moment and terribly hard work. She's had everything in the last two weeks so the joys of parenting has turned into a long hard slog where I am constantly having to remind myself that she is ill - not a demon child. She is a very clingy which I don't mind usually but having spent a week on holiday with her glued to my hip I can't believe there is space in my life for another.

However, I don't think that even in my usual happy state this would have been easy to take. Honestly I think we will have baby number two. Just not a nice start. I think I need sleep (only had 4 hours due to ill babe) wine which is now off the list and a big hug from hubby.

OP posts:
Safmellow · 02/06/2012 16:57

Oh poor you :( as you say not the best time to be finding out. Hope you get a good rest and hopefully that will help clear your head.

BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 03/06/2012 22:59

How you feeling today op?

WantAnOrange · 04/06/2012 08:35

Certainly don't let your DD's behaviour influence this descision in anyway. In 9 months time she will have changed so much!

SpottyTeacakes · 04/06/2012 08:39

Hi I'm pregnant and had the coil. You really need to get to the doctors ASAP there's a high risk of ectopic pregnancy and when they remove the coil a high risk of miscarriage. I would find out if the pregnancy is viable before anything, in sorry of that sounds mean. I hope you get things sorted your dd will be a whole eight months or so older when the baby is born it will be a lovely age gap, if that's what you want Smile

Cbell · 04/06/2012 11:45

Hi! Feeling better now the shock has worn off a little. Yes Teacakes I have done a bit of research and spoken to the on call doctor so realise there is significant risk to the pregnancy. At the moment I have no signs of it being an ectopic but ever twing has me panicking. I am just plodding through the next few days waiting to see my doctor. Not sure if by the weekend I will be pregnant or recovering from a miscarriage. Not fun but managing to distract myself with DD and hubby

OP posts:
Cbell · 04/06/2012 11:46

Forgot to ask SpottyT what happened? You say you're pregnant so the outcome was positive. Any details would be appreciated.

OP posts:
SpottyTeacakes · 04/06/2012 12:33

Well they got my in for a scan straight away but it was too early to see anything. They took the coil out right away and I had two blood tests 24 hours apart. My hcg levels were promising but I had to wait another week for a scan which luckily showed the fetal pole in the right place.

Have you felt to see if your coil is still there can you feel the strings? Mine was still in but had fallen to the bottom of the uterus and was almost resting on the cervix which I think was a major factor in it not being ectopic, had it been high up where it was put there might not have been room for the egg to attach IYSWIM

Cbell · 06/06/2012 20:34

Just thought I'd update this thread. I went to see my doctor today after a quick cervical examination he couldn't find my coil so was sent off to the hospital for a scan. After a two hour wait I was told that my coil had probably fallen out as they could not locate it on the scan.

So I am 6 weeks pregnant and trying to get my head around surprise-baby-number-two!

Thanks for everyone's responses I certainly needed a bit of support this week

OP posts:
SpottyTeacakes · 06/06/2012 20:36

That's great news Cbell Smile I spent the first few days hoping my coil had fallen out as it would have saved a lot of worry!

Wishing you an uneventful pregnancy Smile

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