tips on how not to tell edd?

[soandsosmum]

I was two weeks late with dd1 and found the continual expectation I would give birth on or at least by a certain date very tiring and annoying.(pregnancy renders me with low patience reserves). I also found the hospital keenness to induce at 40+12 frustrating as I knew the dates were wrong as we'd had iui (low level assisted conception) which exaserbates my frustration with peoples fixation on DD.

This time I know their EDD from 12 weeks scan is a week out as it dates the baby before we could possibly have conceived based on my ov and no sex for 3 weeks +

Im already getting people asking me when my DD is (not EDD) and am almost out of patience already (13.y weeks by official EDD). I know it doesn't really matter but i don't want to lie and want to chill about it! ha-ha

Pls give me some tips to be vague in my reply as Dh and I have agreed not to tell everyone the EDD this time.

Sometime in the autumn/spring is a good response. I don't pay any heed whatsoever to funny looks so I'm quite good at being vague.

Or 2013/after the Olympics works too

"It's a bit confusing as my dates say one thing and the hospitals say another"
~wave hands in a dismissive, not want to talk about it way~
"He or she will be hopefully be here around Christmas though"

I'm due on 24 August according to the LMP date, but don't hold much stock by that, plus DS was born at 39 weeks and I'm hoping this one is born at 39 weeks too :)

When people ask when I'm due I just tell them, "August" and usually leave it at that unless they ask which specific date in August, which most often they don't.

The EDD hoo-haa is annoying... Only my DH and I knew the EDDs for our 3 DSs and it worked well everyone not knowing as DS1 was 41+3 and DS3 was 42 weeks... I used to just say "the end of April" (due 23/4!) or "middle of July" (due 8/7) to give me a break from the bloody questions. It used to drive my mum round the bend but she really didn't need to know anything specific as it's not real until they arrive! I did have a lot of these conversations tho:
"when are you due?"
"towards the end of August"
"but what's your actual due date?"

Make up a date 3 weeks later.

I just say end of September that tends to satisfy most people, if people really press me then I tell them I have a couple due to an odd scan and how there was some confusion at the beginning about the actual date due to the leap year, they end up wishing they hadn't been so bloody nosey

Why not add 2 weeks on to your real EDD and then tell people that?

We've only told both sets of parents, and our respective employers in order to arrange mat/paternity leave. To everyone else I've just been saying 'beginning of July' or 'early July' (EDD by LMP = 4 July, by 12 week scan = 1 July). Normally that's enough to satisfy them, though as it's got closer people have been more curious about the actual date, so the conversation usually goes:
'when are you due?'
'early July, not long now!'
'what's the actual due date?'
'well, the midwives can't seem to agree - we've got 2 different ones, but LO is pretty unlikely to arrive on either of them anyway so there's no point putting a date on it'.
If the questioner persists, I either tell them an anecdote about DM deciding the LO will arrive at the end of June because of something she read in my horoscope, or just say straight out 'we're not telling anyone because chances are LO won't turn up on the day anyway', depending on whether they need diversionary tactics or need it spelled out that we're not telling.

Add 3 weeks to the EDD you've been given and tell everyone that.

If they ask how many weeks along you are, tell them you can't remember. If they persist, start asking them questions about themselves. People can't resist talking about themselves, it usually works as a distraction.

I always say "x date... + or -2 weeks cuz babies are not very timely are they now?" and give the people 'the wink'
With dd2 I said no one ever told me an exact date (which was true) and told them how I was feeling she'd be a bit early (which she was)

What Bertha said.
I must admit I get confused when if I ask "When are you due?" and people say "I've got 2 weeks to go" and I'm thinking "No you don't. The baby could come anytime between today & a month from now!" Because they never mean 40+14, they mean 40 weeks exactly. I'd rather they said something that was fuzzy not precise.

But I don't comment.

I tend to tell casual askers "Late July, but I won't get impatient until August - babies tend to have their own plans. Don't they?"

My EDD (12 week scan) is 25th July - though the midwives originally wrote it down as 21st July which worried me a bit as it was the equivilent of me having a 28 day cycle, and my shortest that year had been 37 days (longest 53 days) so I didn't want to be bullied into an early induction. 25th July gives my baby more opportunity to come on his/her own terms.

I have given the exact date to close friends and family in conversation, but have always hedged it with 'so baby will definately be here by (date just over two weeks later) they don't let them stay in any longer.

My thinking was that my sister had to be induced due to overdueness, my mum never went into labour before her planned CSs and my cycles are long, so I wanted to prepare people for this baby arriving in his/her own sweet time.

Must admit, I've been so pushing this angle, that I have to keep reminding myself and DH that we'll need to be prepared by early July because term is 37 weeks +, think we'll both be shocked if the little one makes an early appearance.

In future pregnancies, I'd be tempted to give people a false date 2.5 weeks after EDD.

"When are you due?"
"It wouldn't matter, nobody has told the baby!"

I think being vague is a good call. Failing that just embarrass them.....

"Hmmm, well I'm pretty sure we had sex on the 15th so....oh but wait, I don't know if I was definitely ovulating then & I didn't have the pillow under my bum that night so...."

Good tactic??! Should I try it?!

I always just say 'end of June' I find very rarely are they looking for more info than that, it is usually only a handful of close family members who like to know the actual date you have been given.

Due dates are just a tool for the Dr's/midwives not scientific fact so why would anyone need the actual date for someone elses pregnancy?

I'm technically either 30/11 or 2/12, and find "hopefully in time to be recovered for my Christmas lunch" is working quite well.

That and rolling my eyes and pointing out only 5% of people give birth on their EDD and you know what first babies are like and...

I've told people "October" when by my dates in due 28 Sept and scan dated me at 1st October. And DS was a few days early (nothing to significant but the expectation is there!) DS's birthday is the 6th so I tend to distract people about how he's going to be 2 already and change the subject

All mine were early and after the first there was always the expectation the next 2 would be as well but I didn't want to get my hopes up.
I just said end of may (due date 16th actually) and middle of July (due date 3rd of July) or just gave the month.
As it turned out they never came in either of those months anyway but it stopped people turning me into a watched pot.

I just say September, if people ask when I say early September. He measured spot on for dates throughout (I'm 25 weeks) so far, since 18 weeks he's measuring bigger so who knows!

I tell people my periods were irregular so they couldn't give me an exact due date :P

I Tell people end June or early July which has worked so far but now there's not long to go that tactic is giving me a lot of 'ooh you're big aren't you' type responses

Oo lots of good ideas here. Thank you!

im sick of being asked that aswell ! my two previous were late by 7 days and 5 days so frustrating as like you say its all the questions ! have u had it yet? any twinges yet? i feel like being really quite rude to them so im just saying end of july loool

I just said 'September' and ignored my mother anybody who pushed the issue. I refused to be the subject of expectation.