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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

How do they get their jobs with those people skills?!

7 replies

joosiewoosie · 24/05/2012 13:56

Before I start, sorry in advance for the long post. I'm verbose at the best of times and feel I just need to let off some steam, so read on if you dare!

I had an appointment with a consultant today. I'm 33 and a half weeks with my first, and have large fibroid in there. I asked to have shared care in my booking appointment due to some history of a bout of reactive depression after a job loss a few years ago. This consultant is meant to be the mental health specialist, so I hoped at the start I'd be in caring hands.

However, I had an appointment at 16 weeks where he was terribly flippant, with his first comment to me being 'Wow, that's a big fibroid'. So much for being aware of anxiety issues!

Then, this morning, I had another appointment with him. I was philosophical and prepared for more flippant comments. However, I didn't see him. Apparently I saw his registrar - although I wouldn't have known this woman's role if I had not asked, as she did not introduce herself. In fact, she only really communicated to the midwife in the room, referring to me as if I was not there as 'she needs...' this and that. This registrar told the midwife that I would need an appointment with an anaesthetist, but she did not explain to me why, or even talk to me directly at any point! How do these people get to do what they do with such poor communication skills!

I felt rather teary and worried as I left the room. There was no discussion at all about how I'm feeling, and no explanation about what's happened with the fibroid since the last scan/what it might mean for delivery options or anything else. As far as I know, this is my last appointment with the consultant (sorry, unannounced random registrar). I had to have a routine blood test which is fine, and as the midwife requested the anaesthetist appointment at the desk, I asked her why I was needing the appointment. She had to go back in to check with the registrar, then came out to explain it was because I have a raised BMI, and it would help if I needed an epidural at any point. The midwife was lovely and sensed my anxiety at this point, but could not really explain or do any more.

I feel as if I was/am being treated like a piece of meat/a number. No options have been explained to me with reference to my particular circumstances at any point so far, and I'm just feeling a bit peeved about it all. (Not helping that my hubby may or may not be being made redundant tomorrow...that is playing on my mind too, I guess!)

I know there is nothing that can be said or done by MNers about this, but I think it's helped me feel a bit more balanced just getting my thoughts down here. Thank you for taking the time to read. I'm sure I'll feel better soon. Happy pregnancies one and all.x

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
joosiewoosie · 24/05/2012 19:10

Bump for the teatime crowd.
Any similar experiences, or is this really just me?

OP posts:
twoistwiceasfun · 24/05/2012 19:18

This reply has been deleted

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joosiewoosie · 24/05/2012 19:20

No. I just put it down to hormones, bad luck and sh** service. Reluctant to rock the boat before birth too, just in case...you know?

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twoistwiceasfun · 24/05/2012 19:29

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hippieshake · 24/05/2012 20:20

I don't have an experience like this during my pregnancy, but prior to it I was diagnosed with PCOS and I was in and out of the hospital for consultant appointments. Each time it seems that I saw a different consultant, they all addressed the nurse in the room rather than me. If I asked them a question it was usually met with a look of disdain. They kept losing my notes, and asking the same stupid questions. It can make you feel very unwanted, and also like you are causing them a hassle by being there.

Next time, ask any questions you have and be firm with them. Make sure that you get what you want out of the appointment. They should be there to help you after all :)

joosiewoosie · 24/05/2012 21:22

Yeah...am kicking myself now, but am shocked that they feel its ok to do that to another person as a human, let alone as a so called professional!

OP posts:
elizaregina · 24/05/2012 22:10

hippieshake

your lukcy to see any consultant with pcos, they usually dismiss it and dont give any support or help at all.

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