Those having DC2+ what is your childcare plan for labour?

[Doitnicelyplease]

We live overseas and have no family here (and no-one coming for the birth), trying to formulate a childcare plan for DD 3.5 and getting a bit worried about how she is going to manage with me in hospital.

We have friends that are willing to help, but how do I explain to DD what is going on? I guess I am struggling with the unpredictable nature of labour and also trying to cover all situations.

I am nearing 35 weeks so trying to wrap my head around this now.

Would be grateful to hear what others did in our situation...

If I were you, I'd try and get your DD to see your friend (which you will rely on) as much as possible in the next few weeks. I think she is at an age where she should understand that mummy needs to go into hospital and that a friend will be looking after her.

From experience, I was really worried about leaving DD1 when I had DD2. We were very lucky in respect of the birth - waters broke at midnight, in for a c section as DD2 was breech - DP was back home at 6:30am before DD1 woke up. However I was in hospital for 3.5 days, so DD1 was passed around a bit between family members whilst DP was in hospital with me. We made sure she slept at home and DP was always there in the morning when she woke up and see her during the day. So essentially although she was passed around a lot during the day, we tried to make sure she was at home each night - she coped amazingly well. I don't think we give kids enough credit and always prepare for the worse - well i know I do!!

Hope it all goes well.

hi my ds1 was around this age when his db arrived, i know its not the same but the arrangement we had was that he would go to gramdmas we made a big thing about him packing a bag when i did my hospital bag, and as it was the first time staying away we made it a big adventure! as it was i went into labour at around 6am so we dropped him there on the way to hospital, i was out by teatime and dh took us home and then went to get ds and mil, he was gutted that he couldn't stay out so ended up sleeping with mil anyhow, i agree with getting them used to your friend and make a big adventure out of them staying away, i think they do understand more than we think :)

I am overseas too, and 29 weeks. Fortunately I have a live-in helper/nanny who will look after DS when DH and I go to the hospital, but I'm still a bit worried about the days following (3 day hospital stay for normal, 5 days for c-section as std here and they really dont like you going home earlier than that) and whether he'll be okay or really upset I'm not there......and if visiting me and the new baby will make that better or worse.

He's only 20 months old so too young to explain it really. He points at my tummy and says "baby" but he also points at the TV and says "baby" (I blame teletubbies) so pretty sure he has no idea.

I bought 2 books in advance of having DC2 (12 days ago )
One was 'waiting for baby', the other 'new baby', both are in the same mini series. They are picture books that cover different aspects of pregnancy and the new baby stage; my DD (22 months) really loved them and seemed to understand what was being explained.
That might help your DD in advance of the birth, to understand what's happening.

Good luck!

DD had just turned 4 when DD2 arrived. We were lucky in that, although we lived overseas we were close enough for my parents to visit etc. So they came over for a weekend, collected DD & she stayed with them until DD2 arrived (a month in total as we had been told to expect a possible early arrival and in the end she was only 3 days early!). Luckily DD1 has an incredible relationship with my parents so it was a lovely holiday for her.

However - we did have a few back up plans (in case DD2 arrived really early!). A friend had offered to take DD1, so we arranged as many play dates etc as we could so that DD was used to the family, their house, etc. a second friend was also on standby and we did the same with her.

We also gave permission to the school for either of those two friends to collect DD in case I went into labour while she was at school.

In the end, it all went to plan and she had a great time, arriving back in time to help collect me & DD2 from hospital

Talk to your dd, just prepare her for a surprise and tgat mummy will go to hospital and when she comes home you will bring her brother/sister with you. Then just answer her questions as they are asked.

Don't worry I'm sure she'll be fine.

Bobby Congrulations! I think I'll get those books for DS.

We have a couple of different plans, but our situation is quite different from yours (home birth, grandma doing childcare), but I think it definitely helps to talk it through with the older sibling in appropriate detail. DS (3yo) knows that he is going to go on a trip to grandma's when the baby is coming because having a baby takes ages and he will get bored (although once he sees the birth pool in the dining room this morning when he gets up he may be less convinced by this -it looks like a bouncy castle!), so he is going to go and have loads of fun with grandma and they will go to the park, have icecream etc. He also knows that DC 2 could come at any time in the next week or do but we don't know when, how long it will take etc. Grandma, bless her, is on standby and nursery know that if he is there when it all kicks off then she will pick him up.

We got lots of books about having a new baby in the family etc but haven't really talked to him about birth itself because he isn't going to be there for that bit and is too little to know any real detail. He knows the baby is in my tummy and that it will come out and that I will be quite tired for a while afterwards! He is also fascinated by the ever-growing heap of new baby stuff that has been finding its way out of storage in the last week or so.

I think they take a lot in their stride, but have told him that if he's worried about anything or just wants to talk about it, he can ask me or daddy or grandma.

I'm due DC2 in August when DS will be 2.6 years old.

I've recently borrowed a few 'new baby' type books from the library and been reading them with him. Also, I talk to him about the baby and how it will be here soon.

I was hospitalised a few months ago for hyperemesis (for 2 overnights) and DS came to visit me. He didn't like the hospital and was a bit freaked out by me being on a drip :( but it did give me a good way to talk to him about the baby recently.

I have Group B Strep so need to go to hospital as soon as my waters break which makes me fret a bit about DS and childcare, but my mum, dad and sister all live nearby and hopefully will be able to help.

Another thing which has really helped is that DS has come to my midwife appointments so he's seen the scan and heard the baby's heartbeat.

Not sure how much he understands at this stage, but he does point at my bump and say, "baby's house" so I think he does grasp the concept a bit :)

Thanks everyone, good to hear other's experiences.

DD does understand a fair amount and we have been reading 'Big Sister' books, which she likes and I will begin to talk more about how the baby is coming v soon once I get to 37 weeks (she will also see the nursery will be ready by then, so it will seem more real).

She has moved to a new big girl bedroom which she loves and is settled in.

I have started writing up an 'action plan' which has her routines/food likes etc, as we are hoping to have our friends (we have three lined up in case crossover care is needed) mind her in our house. She is obviously old enough to know where everything is etc which is great.

I guess I am just nervous as we have only ever spent one night apart. But I know she will be fine and that it has to be done!

Just hoping I have a pretty straightforward labour this time, so I can get home quicker. My first labour was a terrible drawn out affair and I spent two nights in the hospital.