40+1 first pregnancy, baby not engaged

[VenusStarr]

Its my sisters first pregnancy and due date was yesterday. She had midwife today and the baby is 1/5 engaged, the same as it was 6weeks ago, my sister is very disheartened. She has been booked for a sweep at 41 weeks and induction at 42 weeks, but the midwife said if they are busy on 4th June she won't get an induction and she may have to wait until 10th June?? This seems ages to leave her? Due date was 21st may.

She has tried curry, walking, sex, bouncing on her ball and other than a couple of twinges nothing is happening. She is feeling very down at the moment. Is there anything I can do or say? I really feel for her, she's really uncomfortable and genuinely thought her baby would have been here by now and the midwife appointment today has made her feel quite low. To make things worse she has been reading that there is an increased risk of still birth for babies going over 42 weeks which if she goes for induction she will be. Can anyone offer any reassurance please?

My little girl didn't engage until she was being born! I stayed at 2/5 engaged right up until 41 weeks when she was born :)

Ooh that's good to hear Spinity :) I think my sister is feeling quite hopeless and that her labour will be medicalised

Hello - your poor sister:( Unfortunately, there is little she can do to bring it on, I have tried everything with both mine (madras, raspberry leaf tea, reflexology, clary sage, walking, star jumps, ball bouncing, diet shweppes tonic by the barrel, sex and so on). The baby will come, when the baby is ready. Hardly any babies arrive on their due date, so although she will be feeling like she will burst, she's still got time:) I can't see them waiting till the 10th june, and if I were her I would insist on being induced before then if she is worried. I have read that when a mum is stressed she is less likely to go into natural labour as the body thinks it is not safe to do so (I'm not sure whether this is true or not, but in animals it seems to be - I'm not comparing us to animals!!) It is sooo disheartening and frustrating waiting - i was convinced my 1st would be here on time - 2 weeks late. It is a long and hard wait, and people telling you to enjoy the peace doesn't help as you can't really enjoy yourself!

My 2nd baby was not engaged at all until the last minute - I felt him barge his way down and he was born very, very fast (1.5hr start to finish) so being engaged is not the be all and end all. She will be ok:) hang in there - good luck and hope all goes well

Hi AdiVic, many thanks for your reply. That's interesting about stress, she is trying to relax and we've been going for gentle walks but she is finding this quite difficult now. I think it frustrates me more when people say 'oh she should make the most of this time' !! she really is but she broke up from work at 36 weeks and has planned things everyday, but she is reluctant to venture too far on her own and is too big to drive so it mainly pottering in the house and popping into the local town but there's only so much she can do bless her. I'm taking some time tomorrow so we can do something nice together to take her mind off it all :) I have said it could all happen very quickly but I think she has convinced herself it won't happen!

My first baby never engaged until labour. She was also 10 days over her due date. I really started to think I would be the first woman in history to be pregnant forever!

Tell your sister not to worry. In her shoes having had 2 babies I would try to avoid sweeps/being induced and try to let baby come when he/she is ready. I know that for some women being induced seems to be the only way that encourages baby to put in an appearance but it's much more common for labour to start spontaneously and I think it's highly unlikely that your sister will still be pregnant by 10th June!

It can be tough in the last few days but your sister has many many years to spend with her child once it's born. With hindsight the last few days really do seem to have flown by. The peace and chance to rest are really not to be sniffed at!! Though admittedly this only becomes apparent after about 2 weeks of 3 hours sleep per night!!

Hope all goes well for her.

Hi Moonhare, thank you for replying. good to hear that your first baby came of her own accord despite not engaging until labour!

fingers crossed that my sister can have the labour she wants rather than be induced, it is still early days :) she is trying to plan things for each day and is making the most of her afternoon naps!

My sister went into spontaneous labour starting with her waters breaking on Thursday night. However despite no warning signs the baby was in distress but they didn't know until she was born. She was taken away and the baby doctors and nurses worked on her then took her up to the neonatal unit. She is very poorly and has been transferred to another hospital, her dad is with her but my sister (baby's mum) hadn't been discharged yet so she is still on the delivery suite.

They believe that the baby swallowed some menconium. She is on oxygen and has lots of tubes helping her. I have resurrected an old thread I found in childbirth about babies who swallow menconium. But does anyone have experience of this? Baby is a good weight at over 8lbs and she has tried to take breaths on her own now and is pink and ysing her arms and responds to having her feet tickled, but she is still constantly on the breathing ventilator (?)

It was such a shock to everyone, the midwives monitored the baby's heart rate every 5 minutes and one time the heart rate was 115 so low but not concerning- the midwife said- the next reading it was back up to 130. They were telling my sister that she'd soon be holding her baby but they acted quickly and got a resuss team in straight away. I know she is in the best place for treatment and to get better but my sister and her partner are truly heartbroken, and I am too but we're all trying to stay strong. Baby is currently in a critical condition.