How late on can hubby go away on business?

[louisdog]

Hi all

I am 31 weeks pregnant and husband's work suddenly want him to be away Monday-Friday in London, which is a 90 minute train journey and 45 minute car drive away. They want this starting when I am 34 weeks pregnant onwards, I am not sure how feasible/advisable this is, does anyone have any thoughts please?

It's my first baby and I just don't know whether it's a good idea or not, it doesn't really bother me except that I am not sure what would happen if I went into labour etc or how likely that is - maybe if I did I could get a taxi to hospital and he could meet me there? Hospital is a 45 minute drive away and haven't got family nearby.

I guess nobody can know when I am likely to go into labour etc, so I suppose what I am asking is, what would you do? It's my first so I don't really know what I am doing!

Thanks for your help!

I would imagine with it being your first, if you were to get in touch with you DH as soon as labour started he would still be able to make it back in time for baby to arrive. If I were you though I would also try and find a back up birth partner just in case he is delayed in getting back home in time.

I would do as Mrs suggests, although I would have a cut-off date (EDD?) after which I would want him closer by.

I didn't want DH travelling for work in the last month, but his trips were abroad and he was able to schedule them accordingly.
Perhaps see if in the week before you're due he can work from home? Will he be back working away again after the baby's born or can he be more flexible then?

My dp works away, he continued working 4-5 hours drive away until my due date the plan was I would contact him straight away if anything happened as I had been told 1st labours take a long time before they even become established. As it happened I was overdue and my 1st contraction was 2 days before I gave birth so would have been plenty time had he been away

Oh yes and I had arranged for someone to be with me so I wasn't alone if I had to wait for him to get home.

It will be fine for him to work away - you can call him as soon as you get the first twinge of labour and he'll be back in plenty of time.

Just tell him to keep his phone on AT ALL TIMES!

I agree that as its your first and its 45 min away by car its not really that much of an issue (if I've understood that timing right?) If you went into labour you'd prob have plenty of time to get hime back - maybe even a taxi in emergency? (First labours tend to average about 9-12 hours, mine was 67! - yes 67!!)

I also wonder if he has any holiday due? Maybe he could take 2 weeks holiday leading into 2 weeks paternity around the due date?? You'll prob know nearer your due date how likely you are to go into labour and judge it then.

My dh works an hour away by train and he doesn't drive and hospital is an hour away from me by car and about 40 mins away from his work by taxi- I am Having an elective c section with this one so I am not too worried just hope I don't go into labour early!! But similar worries to you really... What can you do really? We need the money!

Mmmm. I think fine but maybe have him closer by after your EDD? He would almost certainly get there in time ic only45 mins away. I would stay though that my baby (first) arrived two weeks early and labour was 7hrs from first contraction to him popping out including two hours of pushing, so first labours can be quick!

Thanks for the replies, seems like from weeks 34 to at least 38 it should be ok for him to be away in the week, and possibly slightly iffy after that, and best if he is back to working more locally by the due date.

(It's a 45 minute drive to the station then 90 mins or so on train, and i am not sure what is involved at the other end in London.)

My Mum had really short labours with us but not sure whether I will inherit that tendency or not, she was also 3 weeks early but firstly with pre-eclampsia and then with twins, think she smoked throughout as well which may have contributed to our prematurity.

Lots to think about, eek!

first labours can and have been quick for me anyhow, my first was just 4.5 hours from waters breaking to delivery!!!!!
is this something that is going to carry on?? you said that they suddenly want him to start working away at 34 weeks, is this a relocation as they may need to give him more notice ignore its not written into his contract. i like the idea of trying to take some annual leave in the last couple of weeks, it is more likely that your labour will be longer so worse case he should get home, i would arrange for someone to come with you to start off with so your not alone, and a taxi is an option to get to hospital, try not worry im sure it will all be fine you may even go into labour at night or the weekend :)

sorry ignore should be if!!

Good grief that's a very fast first labour - hope mine is like that! Or maybe it's a bit too intense if it happens that fast.

The London office has requested him to be seconded to troubleshoot/help them deliver a big project so I think it'd just be a one-off three month thing, not sure about contractual stuff. It's such bad timing! If only I knew when baby was coming, it would be ok!

I should line someone else up as reserve to come to hosp but hard knowing who. Hopefully I still have some time to ponder on it.

yes very intense!!!! both my labours have been similar lol you dont want a quick labour as we need to ensure your hubby gets back :)

how nice they have requested him to help, but yes bad timing :( is he planning on taking any paternity leave as surely this will impact on the project they are giving him, definitely have a think about someone to keep you company, i would say as most hospitals don't like you to go in to early you should be ok to wait at home for him and then travel together :) just have a taxi on standby, another thing to consider is i have heard alot of babies are born at night, my first came at 12.30am my second started early morning around 5.30am so if this happens you should also be ok good luck :) :)

louisdog don't forget your baby is full term from 37 weeks onwards, which means it could be born any time after that. It is just as likely to be born before 40 weeks as after 40 weeks - and (according to my antenatal class) 5% of babies are born on their due date! (and then roughly the same number before as after). And complete myth that first babies are usually late. It's best to contingency plan - if things start when he is London, make sure you have a way to get to the hospital without him, and that he knows the quickest way to get to the hospital from where he is. And see if his office can give him some more flexibility to work from where you live as you approach your EDD.

DC1 was born at 38+2. DH had planned a business trip abroad when I was just around 38 wks pg with DC2 - I made him cancel it - luckily as DC2 born at 38+1.

My DH & I both work in London and have 5 hour commute every day - 2.5 hours each way. Closer to the EDD, he'll be keeping his phone on him at all times and keeping his workload under control so he feels comfortable leaving things at a drop of a hat and needn't worry about going on paternity leave.

Is it possible your DH can do something similar?

With dd2 (dc3), dh had to work away right up until the 40 week point, tbh. We were living in Scotland and he would be spending several days a week in meetings along the south coast (flying into LHR and picking up a hire car).

From 38 weeks mil came to stay (they all lived in the south of England so I had no family nearby and needed someone to look after the other two if I went into labour).

As it happened, I went into labour on my due date, when dh was at home. I do think your body waits for a 'safe' time, if possible. The same thing happened with ds1 the time before - we all went on holiday a six hour drive from home for Christmas, and got back two days before he was due. I went into labour a few hours after we got home.