Pregnant overseas

[Alligatorpie]

How is being overseas different for you than being home and pregnant? I live in Egypt, and while my dr is very nice, there are some differences.

She keeps wanting to tell me the sex - "but you need to plan!" they scan every month, to lots of opportunities to have this conversation.

When I told her I was going to the UK togive birth, she said "I think thats a good idea! " ummm, why?

She answers her mobile during appointments, Including while scanning me.

I went to the dr a few days ago and told her I don't know what to do if I go into labour early ( am going to the UK at 36 weeks on Saturday) I have her number and the clinic is a five minute walk from here, but wanted to know if I need to do anything else. she said "inshallah, the baby will not come early!" That appeared to be the end of the conversation.

Pregnant women are just supposed to get on with it here, no one really asks how I am, apart from a few people, or opens doors or lets me go ahead in a line - very different than my first pg.

It is so hot. 36c most days. Dd was a winter baby in Canada, never felt the heat!

But, I can always get an appt on the same day, test results go straight to me, not the dr and medical care is really inexpensive!

What is it like for you living overseas and being pg?

I live in Israel, but for various reasons (including lack of maternity insurance, and the desire for a less medicalised approach to birthing) am giving birth in a Palestinian hospital in Bethlehem, one with a great reputation.

I don't have anything to compare it to - this is my first baby - but I have generally been really happy with the care I've received. I'm 39 weeks plus, and have had scans every four weeks or less pretty much since the beginning, and have always felt I was in good hands. I skipped on most of the tests, as we didn't feel we'd want to take the results to the logical conclusion if they were bad, and the doctor very much encouraged that approach, partly i guess because abortion is rare in Arab culture, but also because he believed in unstressful pregnancies - what will be will be and all that.

At about 29 weeks, a routine scan picked up some extra fluid on the brain, and i was referred to an Israeli hospital, and so began a period of high stress because of the very medicalised approach, although the doctors were without exception fantastic. Some of it was prob necessary - foetal MRI, for example - but at one point, they were pushing me to have an amnio at 35 weeks, which would have risked pre-term labour and done little else except perhaps prepare us if something was wrong.

Anyway, i am due very soon - and couldn't be happier about the hospital. I considered going back to the UK for a while, but it would have made it difficult for my husband to attend the birth, and I wasn't keen to be away for such a long time.

My only concerns now are that the actual approach to birthing is not as hands-off or midwife-led as I would like. And I will have to give birth on my back. Plus if i want pain relief, i'll be confined to bed and unable to jiggle around. But I feel it's a small price to pay for giving birth in peaceful surroundings.

So that's my penny's worth - long post, i know. I will miss having family around for support, though. My mother was going to fly out, but she broke her leg.

I had my first baby on the NHS in the UK, I am 23 weeks with my second and I live in Spain. I have private medical insurance which means I have had monthly scans, plus an extra one at 20 weeks, we wanted to know the sex anyway but in Spain they are also very keen for you to know! I've got to have the glucose test for diabetes even though I'm not in an at risk category and I see an obstetrician rather than a midwife until much further on. Births here are very medicalised, there is no gas and air only epidural or pethadine, and they seem to perform episiotomies as standard. There are very few home births and hardly any hospitals have facilities for water births.
However Spain has a very low infant mortality rate compared to the uk, and although the birth methods aren't to my personal preference I do feel very safe giving birth here.

This seems like an excellent thread.

I am 28 weeks and 2 days gone and I live in Afghanistan. I will be back in the UK at 33 weeks.

alligator the inshalah approach to maternal care is quite common here, where any question about things going wrong etc...is answered with n inshallah everything will be fine. the doctors are really bad mannered here, taking calls mid way through consultation, not listening and being generally rude is quite common.

I am also annoyed at the over medication here, the doctors write prescriptions left right and centre.

Having said that I am quite thankful that I will get to go home to London to give birth whereas women stuck here have to endure the awful medical care. This country is the second worse country to become a mother in the whole world.

I do like some stuff here which I wouldn't have had if I was back in London. One is the amazing fruits (just ate a huge bowl of apricots, mangoes, guavas, bananas, oranges and plums) so 5 a day is easy and some times can easily become 10 a day. I also love the fact that people are extremely caring towards pregnant women, my whole male office just take care of all the work and bother me only when they really have to, cleaner air and pretty roses make me feel so calm and happy. The women here are so good at caring for each other too - they give massages to each other when pregnant and me too.

Russki it's so cool (in my opinion) that your baby is going to be born in Bethlehem :)

Italy.

All extremely medicalised. Most women have private gynaes and are scanned at least monthly. (I have about 10 scan pics- lucky me, dd developing from a little lentil to a big lentil to a pea to a potato right before my eyes....) Had tests for things I had never even heard of and now can't remember.

It is totally seen as an illness. I am a teacher and have yet to see any colleague continue working once the bump shows. It's always "Oh, I think I'll get signed off with a risky pregnancy"

60% of births in my area are c-section. (easier for the doctors I think) but if not then there is only an epidural as pain relief and you have to pay for it (and haveit booked in advance)

No such thing as a birth plan. From 8.5 months on you have that monitoring belt thingy every 36 hrs. I was asked by the nurse who was monitoring me when my gynae wanted me admitting and she was horrrified that I didn't know. She made me an apptfor the day after to see him to see if he wanted me in bed, but I went into labour that night. It is all very controlled. I had every gynae on duty that morning round my bed. 15 people, 6 ofwhom were doctors.

The other side of the coin is that everybody breastfeeds. There is never any question that you won't/can't. but because it's all very stopwatched and rigid, everybody (except me because I ignored allthe diktats) ends up "topping up" with formula by about day 5.

You then have to do everything your bonkers MIL tells you ("put a bit of white wine in a bottle, that'llmake her sleep") forthe next 30 yrs or until you tell her to fuck the fuck off.

In all fairness I am in the deep south and apparently things are different up north.

Had ds in Germany and dd in Austria.

• don't think you can have gas and air
• scans at every appointment
• saw a gynaecologist for every appointment

• chose midwife in Germany and the hospital called her when I arrived, she also did the home visits, so excellent continuity of care
• stayed in hospital for 7 days after c section

- ds in Germany was in the nursery at night, but dd was in my room in Austria

Luxembourg. With DD and with the current pregnancy - regular scans, every four weeks or so; fetal monitoring twice a week from about 36 weeks onwards. Breastfeeding encouraged; post partum physio prescribed; longer stay in hospital - 5-7 days is the norm but you can have stays of up to 12 days reimbursed by the social security, and more if necessary of course.

Plenty of blood tests, but don't feel am treated as ill. Encouraged to eat more healthily but no-one seems bothered about food or alcohol (obviously in moderation) - in fact when pregnant with DD, was told by Dr to have a glass of champagne when we got to 12 weeks as had miscarried twice previously.

Miscarriage was dealt with brilliantly.

In fact, can't fault the care. Homebirthers wouldn't be happy - they aren't illegal but you have to do it privately.

Excellent food in the maternity hospital too. Night after DD was born had a smoked salmon salad, plenty of cheese, good bread - great buffet every evening in fact.

It can be a little OTT over here but I have felt in safe hands throughout and get kittery when I hear about UK horror stories on here...

Oh, pain relief - on arrival at hospital was asked if I wanted epidural, and the anaesthetist was there within 15 minutes. No pressure to have pain relief, but the option is there and the midwives told me it was very rare that they had to tell a birthing mother that it was too late for an epidural.

Warzonemommy, I can't imagine being in Afghanistan and being pregnant, I admire you. I have read about the medical system there, it sounds pretty dire. And How are you finding the heat?

And I had no idea that Italy was so medicalized, but I love the idea of a glass of champagne to celebrate 12 weeks!

I find this so interesting, these are such great stories, anyone else overseas and want to share?

Wow there are some interesting places you lot are giving birth! I'm in China - had DS here a few years ago too so can't really compare with UK but there are a few differences (I think a lot of them to do with the fact that you/insurance are paying for it so you dictate a bit more!)

• a scan whenever I want (as long as you pay for it!) - I had tonnes of scans with DS as they thought I was going into early labour
• a doctor at every appointment
• 4 days in hospital is the norm
• food in hospital is bloody brilliant - basically they give you the menu for the food delivery people and they order whatever you want
• hospital rooms are all private, baby stays with you (but they will take it if you ask) and DH can stay with you.
• more risk averse and if anything is out of the ordinary (breech, twins, loss of fluid etc) they'll whisk you straight into a c-section
• some tests/drugs etc not available here so they are more cautious
• they will support BFing but will also try and convince you to give formula while in hospital

..... Of course this is all at the expat hospital where they have foreign doctors! If I were Chinese it would be a different story!

• will scan whenever (as long as you pay!) but they won't tell you the sex
• to get an appointment, you (or your hubby or MIL) have to queue at the hospital from super early in the morning (like 3/4am) to get an appointment
• apparently doctors will answer phones and (!!) smoke during appointments
• 85% c-section rate
• you give birth on a shared ward, husbands not allowed!
• when you go home you are waited on hand and foot and only really see the baby when it's feeding time (if you're Breastfeeding... which is getting more common but still most people Formula feed)
• no aircon (through choice) and no showers for the mother for 1 month after birth (ick ick ick!!)
• you're not supposed to take the baby out of the house for 100days

.... I'm very glad I'm going the expat way!!

U.S.A. for me - California, baby

Am on DC3 and have had all DC here. Totally love my OB/Gyn, though no real need for him as am low-risk, not generally complainy, and have 'easy' pregnancies. I like feeling that I can have the extra support in a heartbeat if I need it, though (got horrible morning sickness this time round, called him and got an appointment that morning for excellent, excellent drugs . Can't imagine that happening in the UK!)

On the negative side, you are supposed to have lots of tests. For family reasons (brother has severe m/r w/ chromosomal abnormalities) I get CVS at 12/13 weeks. However, I don't get the supposedly mandatory gestational diabetes test - am not high risk category. Luckily (and 3 pregs on!) I have great relationship with doc, so he trusts me when I just say no - I never feel pressurized into anything!

Hospital more like a hotel - seriously wonderful. Private rooms galore for everyone. Birth in room with low lighting, shower/bath, can tell everyone to fuck off (nicely.....) if you want to. Private post natal rooms afterwards. Lots of encouragement to breastfeed but equally after 2.5 day labour and all-nighter delivery they are understanding about taking the baby to the nursery for a bit......

Ooh, makes me want to have DC4 after this one!!!

New Zealand here, for DC1. You find your own independent midwife (with the aid of GP if necessary) and choose one you like; they get their funding back from government. Meetings from about 8 weeks, every 4 weeks until 26 weeks gone, then every 2 weeks til 32 (possibly 36 - I'm only 21 so can't remember!) and then every week. But you have a mobile number and a pager so you can always get in touch if you feel the need. Scans at 12 and 18-20 weeks with screening (+ bloods) for everything (if you want it), and you make your own appointments for when you want them.

All seems very unmedicalized as far as possible - all manner of interventions possible at the hospital, but also local maternity units with private rooms and gas and air (apparently the food at my local one is quite good!), and home births if you want them. You can stay in at your local unit for 4 days or more if necessary, to make sure feeding is all going well. Breastfeeding actively encouraged.

And it's all free.