2nd baby, what will you be doing differntly?

[mrswee]

Iam sharing my second pregnancy with quite a few of my friends being on their first pregnancy and it is reminded me how differntly I am behaving... I am less scared of every little thing than I was the last time, which has left me finding myself being a bit too complacent at times about what I should and should be eating and doing!
I am refraining from googling as much as possible and lifing a very heavy weight several times a day.. my 2.5 year old DD!
But I am eating a lot less cake than the last time as I learned my lesson the hard way last time!

what is everyone else doing differntly or planning to do differntly?

I'm having the odd glass of wine and eating my steak medium rare. No change on the cake situation though.

This pregnancy I'll be mostly relaxing. Instead of project managing a full renovation on our house.

The time has gone much faster this time, as this pregnancy has been almost identical to my last so I just haven't paid quite as much attention to what my body is doing. I've also worked MUCH later and spend a ridiculous amount of time (literally) running around after DS, which has kept me fitter and seems to have cut out the niggly problems I had at the end.

But the biggest difference is that last time, I remember thinking to myself that babies poo, drink, sleep, cry a bit... what's the fuss about?? Hahahahaha This time I am well aware of the hell which is going to break loose in a couple of weeks and this, coupled with working later, means that the ready-to-explode impatience I felt at this point with DS simply doesn't exist - although I'm excited to meet her, I'm hoping this baby takes her time!

I'm following the new Stilton rules!

Feel very different this time. Just been diagnosed with antenatal depression which I didn't have problems with last time and actually struggling to come to terms with this, planned and much wanted, pregnancy. 33 weeks now so not a lot more time.

Very different experience with an excited toddler to look after. I'm much more exhausted, even though I was working full time up to due date last time.

My first baby was in jeans and proper outfits within a couple of weeks. DC2 wore babygros and cardigans for 10 months. Much more sensible and cuddly!

belindarose It's hard work with a toddler, isn't it. I had a meltdown on Friday, I felt I just couldn't do it anymore. I cried my eyes out in the car (parked on residential street, bit embarrassing). I think baby was pressing on my spine as even lifting my arm was mindblowingly exhausting, but we had to go out because DS can't cope with staying in all day. It's been a bit better this weekend so I guess she's changed position. So sorry that you're having a hard time.

Oh I've had a few toddler/tired pregnant mummy related melt-downs already and I'm only almost 12 weeks.. time is standing still for me much more than I remember last time but I think it will speed up after my scan in just over a weeks time. The last time I had a scan at about 9 weeks.

What are the new stilton rules?
I've eaten a fair bit of cured/air dried meat before remebering I shouldn't, but I am hoping the fact that I like to normally eat my meat almost raw and I have two cats means that I am not at risk of toxicplasmosis... see what I mean about being complacent, last time I would have been freaking out having discovered I'd eaten the worng thing.

I ate half an home made scotch egg with black pudding coating yesterday at a party quite happily and then my first time pregnant friend refused them on the grounds of being pregnant, I didn't say anything as she doesn't know I am pregnant yet.. I guess the egg yolk wasn't 100% hard. It was lush by the way!

Like others, I'm a lot less bothered about the food rules. Had a couple if glasses of wind during my pg whereas last time I was teetotal. Also taken advantage of all the hand me downs that anyone has offered for this baby. First time round I wanted everything brand new. Been in a hot tub too which I'd have been cautious about first time.

I've also succumbed to the mummy/toddler melt downs a few times. Nice to know I'm not on my own.

I'm on DC3 here - I think if I get any more relaxed about the whole pregnancy thing I'll be horizontal!

What am I doing differently - let's see.... 2 glasses of wine a week (I even have designated wine nights!) bollocks to the cheese/sushi/raw meat bla bla bla police.....

And from another angle, we're really getting our financial house in order for this new arrival, have mega-organized all of DC2's clothes in boxes according to size for new baby (DC3 also going to be a girl) - I just love being organized, actually makes me feel r..e...l...a.......x.....e........d. I know I get really tired around week 32, so I'm taking advantage of second-tri energy to do the house projects I want to do.

I think we need some mums who are on DC4 or 5 to come along and tell us all some more about letting go of things (maybe even tell me I don't need to put my mega-organizing skills to such good use and should load up on cake?! )

Not shopping ! With dd I bought a lot and was given tons of stuff. A lot of it was never used.

This baby will have way way less!

I am also chilling out about food this time, and I actually keep forgetting I'm pregnant as I'm busy with my DS. A friend asked how I was feeling today and I had to think twice as to why she was asking.

Definitely more relaxed with pregnancy this time round - and as others have said, pretty much forgetting as i've got a toddler to run around after too.
Have also had a few breakdowns from being so bloody tired all the time, and am silently begging hoping this baby sleeps a lot better than my first did!

It's nice knowing what to expect, and also knowing all of your facts and not having to read everything (I spent the whole nine months last time with my head buried in baby books)

And also not being as "Oh my god my newborn has a spot what on earth does this mean I must call the doctor immediately"

luckysocks I ended up crying in the car over the weekend too...in the supermarket car park. Had just dealt with a spectacular toddler tantrum and got so flustered and wound up and hot I had to leave the shops with nothing. I sobbed the whole way home feeling sorry for myself and panicking about how on earth I will cope with two?!

This pregnancy has gone soo much quicker than the first...I have also been having the odd glass of wine as well as smoked salmon and prawns...oh and coffee too.

I'm also more worried about labour this time round as I know what is ahead of me!

And am also worried about the first few weeks of coping with no sleep, sore nipples, hormones etc.

• Much more relaxed about diet
• Cant remember how many weeks pregnant I am, never mind weeks+ days (yes, I did used to write on threads "I am 28+4"
• I refuse to buy any mat clothes as they are going to have such a short life span (and I have loads from last time when I went overboard)
• I am a fully paid up member of the "it will suck and then it will be over....and anyway, where's the anaesthetist?" school of labour. I am avoiding attempts to "empower" me.
• Pre-natal yoga?? Cant even remember where the gym is

This time round I am trying to make sure I relax a lot more. I was seriously ill just after DD was born and that was partly stress related (not related to the pregnancy). This time I'm sticking a finger up at work and any family members who annoy me.

I didn't follow many of the food / drink rules last time round (just stuck to: food must be fresh, and wine in moderation) and am staying with that now. No need to cut out my smelly cheeses and favourite wines from my diet.

I will be having an ELCS so know what to expect and feel very calm about that. Other than that I am just more relaxed and enjoying the pregnancy much more - this will be my last (health reasons) so I want to savour every minute.

I am keeping the whole thing much more private too. My family are a long way away so I felt obliged to share as much as possible with them last time. This time I'm keeping all the details between me and DH. Sharing seemed to give them the right to voice opinions on everything DD related.

I don't want that any more. See stress, above.

Oh that's reminded me another thing... I have told a few close friends or they have guessed because I've been to a few events and not been drinking.. BUT I have not told my mum or MIL or other family and am holding out as long as possible.. I made the mistake of telling them early the last time, they all got so over bearing I regreted it.. I could without the months of stress! Though Im 12 weeks on wednesday and begining to show, my mum has moved up north so so won't notice that! phew!

I'm trying not to think about the labour, my last one was epic, it's the only thing I'm not horizontal about, I've asked for a birth reveiw and am riding on the wave of second labour is much quicker ect.. last one lasted 6 days so it's got to be right? argh

Oh and I am not finding out the sex this time.. probably doing this the wrong way round for practical reasons but I want to feel that excitment of not knowing unti the baby is born

mrswee Me too- found out with DS but having a surprise this time. This'll be our last so I sort of want to do it the other way round, just for a bit of a change

re telling people, I'm the opposite. Last time I strictly stuck to 12 weeks but then told everyone I'd ever met. This time I told loads of people really early (immediate family on Christmas Day, my boss and my tennis team) and then sort of forgot to tell loads of other people so people see me around and are really surprised I'm pregnant

Ooh I like this thread. I only know one other person irl who's pregnant and it's her first - she's due the same day which is cool. I feel totally different this time. Still worrying a fair bit but keep forgetting I'm pregnant!

I'm so much busier than before and feel less selfish now I have a toddler to run around after. I suffered awfully with morning sickness in the first 14 weeks of both pregnancies but was physically sick all the time with DS and felt wretched the whole 9 months. This time I have hardly been sick at all and have suddenly got that 2nd trimester energy you're supposed to get but didn't last time.

I'm enjoying it a lot more this time round and despite moments of anxiety usually just before a scan or listen to the heartbeat I'm a lot more relaxed. I'm also much more active and less lazy. As a result at 18 weeks I weigh less than I did before I fell pregnant with DC1. Hoping to manage my weight a bit better this time as I put on 5 stone before and I'm sure it effected my labour.

On the whole second time round is actually fun. Nice to hear the experiences of other women on number 2 or more

what am I doing differently this time round?! everything! hahaha!

not so fussed about stuff; bloody knackered with 16month old and working three days a week - forgot how flippin' exhausting early pregnancy is! have to admit have been much more weepy...feeling like 'I can't cope' and general melt-downs but I know it will pass. Doing a bit more prep this time - last one I didn't go to any classes which was a bit daft as a first-timer :) trying to relax and enjoy it a bit more...defo planning a 'babymoon' afterwards. have already booked my mum in for a week after DH goes bk to work so I can have extra time in bed - last time I was up and about waaaaaay too soon and paid dearly for it. No trying to be 'super-mum' and slobbing out loads more already :)

I'm doing a mixture of planning more but doing less. Last time I researched everything to the craziest extent but as I didn't really know what I was doing I spent too much time on the wrong things. This time I am totally relaxed about what size fruit the baby is this week (although DH has bought an iPad app ) and have not redone my previous marathon sessions of putting Gina Ford routines onto spreadsheets :o but I am prepping myself more for the birth: looking at relaxation and breathing techniques, options for an active labour, pre-natal yoga... I already know that I will be monitored through labour and I want to be more in control this time.

We are also finding out the sex of the baby this time round, whereas DS was a surprise.

Am much, much busier this time round and the months have flown past. compared with last time when I seemed to be pg forever.

Have bought pretty much everything off eBay or car boot sales.

Haven't really planned ahead as much as last time (by this stage in my 1st pregnancy I had already planned the washable nappies routine to the last detail and read everything I could find on baby led weaning)

Haven't bothered decorate the nursery - will do it when the baby actually moves in there which won't be for months yet

I am definitely more relaxed this time round. My marriage is in better nick as a result!

Oh yes and this time round I have invested in an electric double breast pump - no more RSIs from the bloody manual Aveda

I was quite relaxed about what I ate and drank last time, I've barely drank any alcohol this time as I've got such severe heartburn and it just makes it worse. I still eat everything I ate before.

I'm a lot more relaxed although I had a terrible pregnancy with DS1, a lot of family and exh issues. I was determined to avoid stress this time round.

Bought a lot less crap, no baby bath, top and tail bowl and other such things that can really be done without. Got a second hand moses basket from a friend, and am welcoming any hand me downs although all my family and friends seem to have had girls recently! Have no qualms about buying clothes off ebay either.

I've bought everything I need to FF as last time I tried but failed to BF and I've since had surgery that will possibly prevent Bf anyway, I'll try to BF but I will not feel like a faliure as a mother if I can't do it.

I feel a lot more able to trust myself and my own instincts this time.

I've been a bit slack on the healthy eating in the last week because I've been on holiday from work, but I put on a ridiculas 4 stone the last time and that is just not happening this time, no way. Back at work this week and back to healthy eating.

I am enjoying it a bit more this time as I am more relaxed apart from the odd toddler mummy freak out. I feel like I have more energy but I think it's just because I can't give in to the tiredness with a toddler to look after... And I actually know what real tiredness is.. I used to think I knew, missing my weekend lie in was total exsaution, now I laugh in the face of how much sleep I got in the first third of my life!!

I'm beginning to think I'm bucking the trend here!!

I'm eagerly awaiting the scan on Wednesday so I can a) be absolutely 109% sure that there's a real baby in there, not just a food baby and b) so I can go around telling EVERYBODY I'm not fat, I'm pregnant. I put this under worrying down to an early pg loss last cycle before this BFP & the fact that this scan is later & I'm showing more with #2 so feeling more self-conscious.

Doing yoga classes as want to help to keep my body in shape/fit so I can get back on form with 2 DC to look after (& so I get a bit of me time!!) Plus, want to avoid g&a & any other pain relief (esp as want a home birth) so think the breathing techniques will help.

Generally I seem to be more anxious & unsure about this one - the first I just seemed to accept that things would go right and didn't even consider anything else!! This time I'm worrying the screening tests will flag up problems etc too.

Also worrying that we've told DD too early (she's only 2yo but quite bright & think she would have heard conversations etc plus didn't want her worried about me puking!) and that moving house soon then new baby will completely screw her up turn her happy little life upside-down!! Plus, worrying that its the wrong time/too late to potty train/sack the dummy & bottle, and all the other little naughty habits she has!!

Hopefully, Wednesday's scan will go well & I'll start calming the hell down!!