Is my midwife right?

[Sastra]

Morning all.

I posted yesterday about a not-great experience with my midwife. I just wanted to ask lovely MNetters instead for their experiences.

I'm 16 week and I think I am showing. Ive got a little belly that popped out in the last week, noticeable to me and DH.

My midwife said that I can't be showing because I won't show until 20weeks? I don't think it's bloating, but this woman makes me feel like a complete idiot schoolgirl.

Is she right though?

P.s., and thanks to everyone who's been able to answer my questions. I don't have my mum around or any family and now I've got a horrid midwife it means the world to me that MNetter have taken the time to be supportive.xx

People guessed I was pregnant at 14 weeks so I can only assume my little bump was noticeable to them and therefore I was 'showing'.

Entirely possible! Don't listen to her!

Well, some people definitely do show at 16 weeks. I know my DH and I notice my bumps a long time before anyone else though, because we know what I normally look like.

It's not something I'd talk to my midwife about though. I like to keep it brief and practical. But it's a shame yours is so unapproachable.

She sounds odd! Everyone shows at different times, there are no rules. It depends on your shape, your frame, how flat your belly was beforehand, whether it is your first pegnancy or not. I can't remember exactly but I'm sure I was showing before half way with my first pregnancy. I'm 19 weeks now (3rd dc, 4th pregnancy) and I look like I'm about 7 months!

She's wrong.

Everyone is a different size and shape and just because she thinks people don't show till 20 weeks doesn't mean that she's 100%.

I'm pregnant (2nd pregnancy) and was aware of having a bit of a tummy bump from around the same stage as you both times.

I do think that because it's your body and your DH is so aware of what's happening that it's natural for the 2 of you to see it first and to be focused on it. For the vast majority of people who aren't you two then chances are they won't see a bump or visible pregnancy sign in you till later, maybe around the 20 week stage the MW mentioned.

Congrats on your pregnancy! Exciting times!

i was showing at 16 weeks (in terms of the fact my waist was a lot bigger - not an actual bump though, just stouter-looking). That was with DC1. With DCs 2 and 3, I had a great big baby bump well before 16 weeks.

Everybody is different and shows at different times. With my first pg I was showing around 17 weeks, with second someone asked when the baby was due when I was 11 weeks (although actually I think my dates were a bit wrong and it was more like 12 weeks)! Clearly I actually looked pregnant and not just fat at that point. Third showed pretty early on too.

I was showing at 16 weeks - its my first pregnancy too. Everyone noticed it so can't just have been me and dh imagining it!

She's wrong. Ignore her and don't bother asking her about stuff like that.

First pregnancy the midwife told me it would 20 wks and she was right (never took to that woman). This pregnancy I was about 15/16 weeks...and now I'm nearly 38 wks my tummy is going to burst one of these days

What a silly thing for her to say! After 12 weeks everything kind of moves to the front
to give bubba plenty of room to grow (very technical!!) I'm quite little and showed early (people also noticed my larger boobs!)
Good luck and hope you have a better experience next appointment!

At my 16 week appointment, the midwife and I watched as I lay on her examination whatsit and ds squirmed visibly inside me. He spent a lot of time kicking the sonicaid too. I had a definite bump. In fact you'd expect your uterus to be palpable from 12 weeks. I have a shallow pelvis so actually it pops out by 8 weeks. Once it's pushing above your pelvis, you'd expect your body to change even if in tiny ways, sometimes though in big ways. Depends on your height, muscle tone, weight, proportions, genes etc but yes of course people can have bumps at 16 weeks.

To be honest, why do you care what she thinks? My midwife is a bit of a nutter but she's only there to provide medical support and ensure that everything is growing as it should be. Not looking to her for anything else as I can get that from friends and family

Msfickle, I think most people expect a midwife to provide you with pastoral and emotional support, as well as an answer to any pregnancy related question. You can ask friends and family when they had a bump, but they might not have any clue what is or isn't normal. A midwife is the ideal person to know this sort of stuff as they spend all day every day dealing with the myriad presentations of pregnant women.

In fact op, are you sure you saw an actual midwife? If she's never seen a 16wk pg woman with a bump, I think she might actually have been a confused checkout operator or similar.

She's talking bollocks.

Your midwife is a nutter! I can show you plenty of photos of me 15-19 wks and very clearly pregnant!

Everyone is different. With my first pregnancy I didn't show until 24 weeks. With my 2nd pregnancy I started showing by 8 weeks - only because I was a size 6 then.

She's talking rubbish. I am 18w and have been showing for the last 2 weeks at least, only a little bit but it's definitely there and I can't suck it in.

Sounds as though you can't trust this woman to offer you sound advice though so I'd ask if you can see a different one, tbh.

After 12 weeks the uterus moves up from behind the pubic bone so it's entirely possible to show after then and it not be bloating. In subsequent pregnancies you can tell a little earlier sometimes as the uterus is already stretched so can come above the pubic bone sooner.

Gosh I was wearing maternity clothes with my first at 20 weeks!!clearly I must be a freak of nature!

With my last (twins) I was virtually showing the day after a positive test

What does she think, that a bump magically appears at 20 weeks where before was flatness???

My midwife said the same (she was lovely, just wrong about this!) and I had a little bump that I could feel/see way before 20 weeks.

At around 20 weeks it turned into a 'proper' bump, rather than a thickening of my waist that could have just been weight gain to anyone else. That's when people started to actually ask if I was pregnant if they didn't already know.

I also wore maternity trousers from 14 weeks as I couldn't bear anything around my waist.

Hi MsFickle, I guess my point was is that I don't have any family and my friends are nowhere near being at the life stage of being able to help.

It's ridiculous to say that there is any kind of a rule about this sort of thing. Am pg with my first so no expert but one thing I have learnt is we're all different, no two pregnancies are exactly the same, even in the same woman. Have just started NcT classes so have met five women at almost exactly the same stage as me and there is huge variation in all our bumps.