What to buy?...

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Hi Mumsnet ladies,

I am currently 13 weeks pregnant with my first and i am already eager to get shopping, although part of me is terrified that buying baby stuff will somehow jinx how well everything is going, silly huh?! However i am very aware of how carried away i could get when i finally unleash myself on the baby shops, so i wondered if you lovely ladies would be so kind as to help me put together a list of "things to buy and will probably make life easier", and a list of "don't bother it is a waste of money".
Another request (sorry this is a rather self-indulgent post), can anyone recommend a good pregnancy and baby book? When we were TTC the MN conception ladies recommended Taking Charge of Your Fertility and it became my bible and helped us get our BFP.
Thanks in advance to anyone who responds. I really do value any advice i can get.
Thanks. xxx

You need

somewhere to sleep
nappies (cloth?)
10 or so vests
10 or so sleepsuits
bedding- bottom sheets plus sleeping bags.
something to eat- boobs or bottles, steriliser etc,
change mat.
pushchair/sling.

anything else can wait. If you have velcro child then you'll end up buying a sling. If you have one who likes being put down then you can buy a bouncy chair or playmat. Pointless getting them before arrival. My mum got me a bouncy chair, dc1 hardly ever went in it. dc3 loves it.

Book: Naomi Stadlen "What Mothers Do"

Buy, hmmm.... a carseat that fits your car, some small baby clothes (not many to begin with), a few muslins and either a crib/cot/moses basket, or a bedrail. Also a good sling (not a high street one). Some kind of nappies.

Most other stuff is non-essential, though shopping can be fun

You need to think about transport (car seat if driving home from hospital), sling and/or pushchair/pram/travel system; a place to sleep plus bedding; how you'll be feeding; and enough to wear. Everything else can wait, especially if you're superstitious; and even some of the above can be managed without if you have picked out your wish list and can rely on DH to shop.

Do remember to get a good supply of maternity pads, and a bale of muslins wouldn't go amiss either.

Don't buy....

baby bath
top n tail bowl
baby flannels (they really don't need them)
a mobile
a vibrating swing/bouncy chair
a baby on board sign for your car

do buy (or ask for)..
a car seat and make sure it fits your car -or cars if it will go in more than 1
a moses basket
plenty of muslin cloths
3 bottom sheets
a couple of celular blankets

Check the cost of the isofix base for your car seat. I didn't and the one for my car seat was more than the car seat!!!!

Wow, thank-you so much for your responses. Can't believe i have had so many so fast.

Workshy, why no baby bath? How do you wash your baby?

Thanks again ladies. x

Forget cotton wool and get wipes - if you do feel the need to do cotton wool in the early days go for the large flat pads and NOT the pleated cotton wool - it just shrinks not nothingness - however if you DO desperately wanted pleated I have about 10 packs going begging, ( DD 6mths!!).

sink or the big bath

they don't need bathing every day, they out grow them very quickly and they take up lots of room

In the big bath is fine - you only need a shallow amount of water and there is much more room for baby to stretch out. I often got in and had bath together.

Ah, that makes sense. Baby bath is now scored off of my shopping list.

This is so helpful. Thanks guys.

My pregnancy book was 'Your Pregnancy week by week' by Prof Lesley Regan, an obstetrician & mum to twin girls. Not at all hippy chick I'm afraid, but detailed & full of info about you & your baby's changing body.

I bought a rigid bath cradle rather than a baby bath (or rather M&D bought it in.France, but more available over here now) & found it handy so you can be 'hands free' with baby, & wash them properly.

Muslins - supermarkets tend to do these cheaply & you can often get pink or blue patterned ones, as well as the traditional white, if that's your thing.

The problem is, everyone's list of essentials is different! I found the baby bath really handy as we bathed DD in it on the kitchen table so I didn't need to bend down & the kitchen was much warmer than our bathroom (DD was a winter baby) so I didn't worry about her getting cold. I also found a mobile & a bouncy chair to be seriously good investments &, as DD was a big baby & had very good head control from birth, she could go in the bouncy chair from about 2 days old. I also found the Baby Bjorn sling much easier to use than the Moby wrap I had.

At this stage, I'd start thinking about what pushchair/car seat you want & just keep a general eye out in the second hand section of your local paper for people getting rid of baby stuff. If you buy everything new, it quickly mounts up and, other than things like mattresses, it really doesn't need to be new. I wish we'd bought less new stuff for DD and saved the money and spent it on a cleaner for the first few weeks after she was born! Also, when you're out or seeing friends with little ones, pay attention to what they're doing & using and think about whether you could see yourself using that bit of equipment. When I was pregnant with DD, I came across a lady in a car park with the same car as us and our choice of pushchair and so slowed down to watch how easy it was to fold up & how much space it took up in her boot. She probably wondered what on earth I was doing but it was very helpful to see!

I would recommend reading "first time parent" by Lucy Atkins - it's easy to read, good humoured and covers all the basics including what to buy!

The Mumsnet pregnancy book is great. It's so amusing as well as factual.

I agree that everyone will have different lists. I love the vibrating bouncy chairs. It means that you've got somewhere to pop baby while you answer door/go for a wee etc. Both my boys loved theirs so it was top of my list for this baby.

Also a sling would be good. Especially for a baby that doesn't like being put down. I've got a Kari me one and I can't wait to use it. There are sling meets around the country. If you google sling library there might be one near you so you can look at different ones.

Nappy wrappers are a waste of money. I had one with DS1 and it didn't keep the smell in at all.

I really regret buying a beautiful but bulky and cumbersome pram for first DC. I only used it for the first six months, and then traded it in for a second hand mclaren buggy - so much more practical, lighter and great for public transport. Can be folded up and carried over your body if you need to do a flight of stairs etc. Really, really wish I'd gone for a mclaren from day one [one of the ones suitable from birth, of course] and saved myself £250.

Also disagree with not buying a swinging chair - i know it won't be for every baby, but our DC both loved it, and it meant we would get a bit of peace and quiet to eat a meal, for example, and it often lulled them to sleep too. Again, got ours second hand, so not even too pricey, and cloth seat is washable, so can be nice and clean for your little one!

Top n tail bowl was a crap buy for us. I did tell DH but he wouldn't listen to me. If you wash face first you don't need separate water for bum! Derrrrrrr had to get baby bath as we don't have a bath to dunk um in. Ok after 8 weeks of being a 1st time mum We've bought some stuff we didn't need so I'll list what we've found essential to our lifestyle

Car seat that fits your car
A mode of travel. Either pushchair or sling
Cheap rucksack/record bag for when out n about

If your bf PLENTY of pads
Lansinoh cream

2 Moses basket stands (we have one upstairs for the basket one downstairs and used the carry cot)
2 sheets (used pillowcases in an emergency)
2-3 cellular blankets
Dd has only just gone in her cot bed so all that stuff can wait

We're on washable nappies so got 20 to start n a roll of liners n a bin. Just used the mountains of voichers u will get to get disposables for when they hadn't dried
LOTS of cotton wool
Cheap own brand nappy bags 9p for 200 kinda thing
Plenty of muslin (I was dubious but used them for allsorts)

Get more vests than sleep suits. Plain white can get 6 for £5 in primark n they was fine. We got about 14. 2 for each day cos there's bound to b a poonami which means a clothes change
No more than 10 sleep suits (you will be given LOADS)
Couple of cardis
Outdoor jacket/coat/fleece

Don't bother with 'outfits'. Dd has a couple but lives in sleep suits ATM

I really enjoyed reading "pregnancy - the mumsnet guide"

We had outfits with dd1 but for first few months all she wore was baby gros and sleep suits. Babies are very fiddly and messy, in the early days the need lots of nappy changes and lots of clothing changes due to sick, dribble and nappy accidents. It takes far too long getting them into and out of fancy outfits but with a sleep suit you just lay the on it and fasten it around. They often have feet and mits in aswell so you don't need to worry about them falling off every second.

If you are considering breastfeeding then The Food of Love by Kate Evans is great and really funny. Full of cartoons, which I liked.

Do NOT buy a pushchair, car seat or anything else which comes with a warranty. You'll only be eating into you warranty unecessarily and they'll be clogging up your house for the next 6 months. Although mothercare do a 2 year warranty from your baby's birth, but their customer service is awful, so you know, swings and roundabouts!

Also car seats expire after around 5 years, or less depending on how they're stored. So buying too early just gives you 6 months less you can use it for (so if you want to keep it for future dc).

I'd just go for a book and some little baby clothes maybe at the moment. But you can always spend time researching other bigger things, then you'll be well informed when it comes to buying said bigger things!

Thanks ladies. All this advice and personal experiences has been so helpful. I am now drawing up a list of things to buy and starting to get an idea of cost. Have discovered that prams/travel systems seem to be cheaper on amazon, so may try them out in Mothercare but then buy them online. Will also be keeping an eye out in the local classifieds. I have already managed to inherit a moses basket from a friend.

I am planning on trying my best to breastfeed. However should i get a couple of bottles just in case?

Thanks again. xx

Books I would recommend (borrow from library/friends)

Babyled breastfeeding
Ina may guide to childbirth
Sear Baby sleep solution and the baby book by him.

Agree with Itsmylastone about car seats and pushchairs! Also dont get the familyfix base by maxi cosi. It sort of ties you in to forward facing and extended rearfacing is five times safer

www.facebook.com/groups/209783279077720/357870094269037/?notif_t=group_activity#!/RearFacingTheWayForward

www.rearfacing.co.uk

As Pestopenguin say dont buy a sling from the high street. Look for a sling meet. Something like a Ergo/ Manduca/ Connecta or a wrap like a moby/ellaroo/didymo would be much more useful and last longer than a babybjorn and the like. The highstreet carriers are not good for you or the baby and have a max wearing life of 6mths max normally!

victoriaslinglady.co.uk/index.php?route=product/category&path=67

I borrowed a baby bath recently just to save water but DD actually prefers shower!

Oooh yes definitely get "the Food of Love" by Kate Evans if you want to bf. Someone told me that when I was about where you are now, and I LOVED it while pregnant and actually read it again in the crazy weeks after DS was born -it was the only bfing book I re-read while actually breastfeeding for tips and reassurance, and it was lovely! I give it to all my preg friends who want to BF now :)

Ditto advice on clothes (vests, sleepsuits, jacket/cardie, few little hats and socks, DONE). You do need a carseat straight away if you own a car, and probably a pushchair or a sling - but that's really about it. Couple of sleeping bags, ask for them as presents or look out for them on craigslist, ebay or freecycle second hand.

Rather than a cot, I bought a second hand 'co-sleeper' (we got a new mattress for it) that attached like a sidecar to our bed. It was BRILLIANT because in the night i could roll over, kind of leaning into the co-sleeper, then latch him on, and we could both doze while he fed, then I could leave him all snuggled asleep in his sleeping bag and dive back under the duvet which DH had nicked and go back to sleep myself, without ever even sitting up, let alone getting up! Co-sleeping isn't for everyone but it made our life SO much better and easier, when we did transition DS to his own cot and own room around 9 months I ended up missing him a bit! :)

Gumtree is a haven for baby bits.

I got a bundle of newborn/0-3 clothes for £30 and there is loads .
Cot-can be got second hand but always buy a new mattress.
1 decent blanket/bedding bale should be sufficient, but get plenty of fitted sheets for the mattress-posset goes a long way!
Bouncer/rocker chair.

I can also recommend that 'food of love'. Was really good, but yes, I would recommend getting in some bottles and steriliser if you plan on introducing a bottle at some point. It will be one less thing to worry about when baby is here.

Not meaning to be argumentative but I would put baby bath back on your list. I bought the Tippitoes mini bath from amazon for about £10 and it's great, my DS is only just about to grow out of it and the back support in it makes life so much easier. I bathed him every other day up to about 3 months old and every day since then.

Muslin cloths,
Travel system and car seat base
Don't worry about outfits for first couple of months, baby will live in sleepsuits. Get plenty of vests and sleepsuits.
Cotton wool and water is a faff, get sensitive baby wipes (Huggies pure are rubbish though, tear really easily. I found Johnsons fragrance free, Pampers sensitive and boots own brand sensitive all good)
Blankets
Changing mat (with a towel over top to keep baby warm)
Changing box full of nappies, wipes, cream, other essentials
Baby nail clippers
A black and White toy eg panda or penguin for the early days when they can only see these colours. My DS loved his panda.
A little coat and hat.
A good changing bag for you.
We have used our bouncy chair a lot.

Waste of money for us-cot mobile, scratch mitts, baby monitor as ended up co-sleeping.