smoking...

[mandygj]

im so so dissapointed in myself recently. when i found out i was pregnant i went straight to a stop smoking clinic recommended by my midwife and managed to stop completely fom 6 weeks to 26 weeks.
four weeks ago my lovely dad passed away after a cruel illness, and with all the trauma the first thing i did after the funeral was reach for one of my brothers cigerettes, i felt sick and horrible about myself but as days went passed, the more and more i was reaching for them again. im on about 5 a day now (bad day ten) and i just feel so so low.
my husband smokes and hasnt exactly helped me kick the habit back again, but im 30 weeks now and im too ashamed to go back to the clinic again.
are there any expectant mothers out there that smoke? or have quit then started again?

I'm sorry for your loss and can understand why you started again :(

Maybe go to your gp or stop smoking clinic again? Definitely talk to someone lovely. Hope you stop soon x

Sorry, just read that you're too ashamed to go back to clinic, how about just seeing someone 1-1 or your gp who could refer you to hypnotherapy? I've heard Alan carrs book is excellent

There is no shame in going back to the clinic for more help. That is what they are there for.

I don't have personal experience with smoking, but as someone who has struggled with overeating, each day, each meal, each hour is a new hour that we can make healthier choices from.

Every cigarette you choose not to smoke will help your health and your baby's health. You have been under stress, going back to a comfortable habit is understandable, so don't beat yourself up about it, just make the decisions you make now ones that you can be proud of.

Take care of you and your little one.

And hey, you've done it once, you can do it again :)

thanks for being so nice girls, im just too embarrased to talk to anyone, i think ill just send hubby into chemist for patches, dont think i could bare asking for them with my huge bump and being frowned upon.
i need to stop again, it has helped me deal with stresses but i get myself so upset about smoking that it leads to more stress, i hate seeing pregnant woman smoke its awful x

Sorry for your loss. It's really sad that you're so worried about being judged that you can't get the help you need. Please be kind to yourself, you've been through a difficult time which would challenge most ex-smokers to some extent. Nicotine is a nasty addiction and once you've had one you're back in the trap.

I was really lucky that I randomly gave up about 2 weeks before I found out I was pregnant. I saw a private hypnotist, and it really did the trick for me, although it helped that I had decided that was the only thing that could help me. Perhaps this route might be less
daunting for you than going via the midwives & GP.

How about ordering stuff online too? Like patches or chewing gum. You cam do it lovely, just think of how proud you'll be of yourself. You don't want to be smoking up to labour and/or with a precious sweet-smelling newborn x

have never thought about a hypnotist, i think ill look into that.
the midwifes constantly told me what i was doing to my child and were quite brutal to me, helped me give up yes but now if i go back im sure they will judge me more knowing that ive been told about all the effects it has on baby and still choosing to light up, i dont even enjoy it so i dont know why i do it, i gave up easy with my first child who is now two, she is a handful aswell! so i think everything thats happened the past month or two has really effected me, im so sad about dad and i miss him so much my heart is literally aching to have him back in my arms. im trying to look forward to my new arrival but i just feel so sad all the time, especially being so weak with ciggys. just got to take a day at a time i think, thanks for all your comments, has made me feel a little better about the cigerettes, and a little more positive that i can still do somthing about it xx

Hi Mandy - I'm so sorry for your loss, and I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone in taking up smoking again during your pregnancy. I struggled so, so hard to quit when I found out I was unexpectedly pregnant last year, then I had hypermesis and seemed to be the one person in the world for whom a ciggy calmed my stomach so I struggled some more, and then we had to move out of out at 24 weeks pregnant, float around friends' spare rooms for over two months, and moved into our new house at 32w. And I smoked again when I was that stressed by the move.

Giving up cigarettes is very hard for some people, and especially so when something as devastating as your loss happens. Please, please don't beat yourself up about it because that will just make things worse.

I second going to see a hypnotist if you can afford it, but if not please phone your midwife and ask for a referral and be honest. I so wish I had rather than dabbling in the odd cigarette. But I understand how ashamed you feel, I felt that way and that was why I never really asked for help and I so, so wish I had.

You can do this if you want to - but, please, if it takes a while just dropping one cigarette a day don't feel bad for this. In your situation it may be almost impossible to stop cold turkey. Each individual cigarette you don't smoke is a good thing for you baby.

But mainly I just wanted to respond to your bravery in posting this by saying that you are not the only one (the odd time I have mentioned smoking during pregnancy on this board I have down played it). Come and talk on here if you need to, or PM me if you want to talk to a fellow smoker, and above all take care of yourself during this difficult time and focus on all the good things you manage to achieve

x

Another vote for the hypnotherapy; I tried everything to give up my 20 a day habit and this was the only thing that worked and I haven't smoked for over 5 years now.
Good luck x

thanks lexie, i think you do feel like your the only one when its something like this, so its good to hear im not the only one that feels so dam ashamed.
i have friends that smoke and are pregnant and havnt tried to give up at all, i had encouraged them by saying if i can do it anyone can, but since this i have hid it from everyone, only my husband knows.
i will look into a hypnotist but if its too expensive i think ill need to pluck up the courage to speak to midwife and explain whats happened.
you have helped give me a little push and i cant thank you enough for that i really cant.
im trying to take things slowly just now and try and look forward to the birth of my little girl but its so so hard right now. my dad was looking so forward to meeting his second little grandaughter and my other little girl loved my dad so much, it hurts me that my next will never know him
here come the water works! good thing is i suppose im writing on here and not reaching for a ciggy.. progress already
thanks for being so nice and for the encouragement, its definatley helped because i assumed a topic such as this would bring me hate replys for being a pregnant smoker, but im really surprised at the feedback and its made me think that perhaps my midwife wont be so harsh either.
day at a time, ciggy at a time and im sure ill get there, i can just imagine my dad looking down giving me a kick up the arse to help me through.
thanks girls, and thanks lexie ill drop you a wee mail if things get a little tough and im tempted to head for the little blue packet xx

Hi mandy I know how tough it is to quit smoking, especially when you have already worked so hard to give up once. The way I managed to stop was just to distract myself each time I wanted a fag, and just think "I can have one later if I want to". I read somewhere that if you are busy with something else, a craving will only last around 5 minutes, so I would do something else and I found I could do it like that, as I wasn't saying no forever, just for 5 minutes.

Hope that makes sense! I'm sure they won't judge you if you go back to the clinic, especially if you explain what caused you to start again, pretty much all ex smokers would at least be tempted, and most would give in to it in your shoes!!

Good luck with it, and remember that each fag you don't smoke, is 1 less that your baby has to smoke

well done for being so determined to give up, your dad would be proud.

if you do get patches over the internet/ husband to pharmacy option, remember it's the 16h ones (that you take off at night) that are recommended in pregnancy so baby doesn't get used to the low level of nicotine.

well done and good luck!!

My hypnotist cost about £75 which is a lot of money, but cigarettes are so expensive it soon paid for itself (not helpful as you have to pay up front unfortunately)

Also look into Alan Carr's Easyway allencarr.com/36/the-allen-carr-method

I know this has helped a lot of people.

Good luck.

Just wanted to say I'm very sorry for the loss of your Dad. Don't beat yourself up or worry about being judged - your loss is still so recent, you don't need more stress. If anyone judges you harshly in your situation, then I think that would be quite heartless of them tbh. Don't let your worries stop you going back to the clinic / midwife for help.

Hypnotherapy has helped me with other issues when pregnant, and I found it lovely and relaxing too. The therapist gave me a tape from each session, so I could use it at home every day too, which was great.

Good luck, and take care of yourself.

Firstly, well done for quitting! Never see it as a failed attempt to quit, you successfully quit for 20wks, so you clearly have the skills and tools to do it again. Your New Leaf adviser will support you in putting these coping strategies back in place. They are certainly not there to judge you.

I just wanted to say firstly I'm really sorry for your loss. Can't even imagine it. Secondly big well done for quitting before - you've done it once you can do it again. And lastly that I'm really pleased for you to be open and honest about your situation, people are very quick to judge pregnancy/smoking and I think you've got guts, so don't be worried about trying to get help. anyone who has tried to give up smoking knows how hard it is, and a lot of people have no idea how hard it is- especially when you are feeling vunerable, emotional,hormonal etc.
There must be so so many pregnant women out there suffering - and prob a lot of them in silence. Don't beat yourself up. I had one during thia pregnancy when I had an awful weekend, i beat myself up with guilt for ages, but I couldn't change what i had done, I've just vowed to start afresh. Think of how many you haven't had, but usually would.

Look after yourself and of course unborn babba and best of luck with everything