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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

im being totally unreasonable but i cant help it ... :(

29 replies

confuzed90 · 26/04/2012 20:41

Basically, my due date was yesterday and I have been having contractions every 10 minutes since monday. Agony. But their very little progress, anyway, my sister has just phoned me, telling me her waters have broke and having her baby, she's not due till 25th may. I can't stop crying.I don't know why, she was so smug over the phone.
Yes I'm jealous, clearly. But am I being totally unreasonable? I am so fed up. Pains 24/7. Not really slept since monday.

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RandomMess · 26/04/2012 20:45

Oh dear, that is hard. her baby is early at 36 weeks - I'd be worried about if it were my baby rather than smug

ShowOfHands · 26/04/2012 20:46

The end bit of pregnancy is really difficult. I know it's hard to see it but you only have days to go at the very most. And what your body is doing now is all very positive. You need to reframe it in that light. Because I promise you all of this is doing something. Your body is gearing up to having a baby. And the absolute best thing you can do is work with your body, try and find a way to get some sleep (water, aromatherapy, massage, dozing through a favourite film, glass of wine, whatever helps you) and believe it will happen.

Your sister isn't smug. She's excited. The focus is on her now for a bit. You can retreat, make a nest and let your body do this.

You're going to have a baby very soon. Promise.

rubyslippers · 26/04/2012 20:47

You are being unreasonable
but you are heavily pregnant and in slow labour
Are you sure she was smug? I'd be scared if I was going into labour a month before my due date

BillyBollyBandy · 26/04/2012 20:50

No woman as heavily pregnant as you can ever be considered unreasonable

My waters went with no contractions with dd1 and I ended up on a drip for induction and an epidural

On and off labour pains with dd2 for about 2 weeks, she was getting herself in prime position and shot out with 2/3 pushes.

Playing the longer game can sometimes be more productive

Kveta · 26/04/2012 20:55

oh, you poor thing :( you must be knackered.

I remember crying everytime someone I knew had a baby before me for about the last 4 weeks - even though one of them was a crash section due to pre-eclampsia, and baby was 34 weeks - so bloody terrifying for my friend. But I was insanely jealous at the time.

then I had the long and basically useless early labour, like you are having, and ended up finally giving birth at 40+6, and then I met DS, and was just immediately head over heels in love with him, and forgot about absolutely everyone else :o So you will have that soon - and you'll be an auntie too! amazing :)

good luck

Original poster

confuzed90 · 26/04/2012 21:03

Thankyou all..yes I'm worried about her, but it was the way she phoned me and said it. I had to rush off phone as I could feel the tears brewing! And now I can't stop!

I am feeling insanely jealous, been very fed up especially past few days and this has really topped me over the edge.even my partner is having a go at me because of my crying. Ridiculous I know. The baby will most likely be in nicu but she has had steroid injections. So should be ok. I just feel as though its 'my' time you know? Good god I shouldve name changed I sound awful!

OP posts:

gloucestergirl · 26/04/2012 21:16

Be easy on yourself. You're going through a really hard time at the moment. Being rational really isn't an option :) I got stupidly upset (all day in tears) about my husband critising my foreign language skills (!!!!) the day before I went into labour. I can't imagine how I would have reacted to the news that sister gave you after such physical torment.

Cry your heart out...now is the time you can be over-emotional and unreasonable as much as you like. It is also probably acting a pressure valve. Good luck and come back and tell us how it went.

Flisspaps · 26/04/2012 21:19

Think of it this way - you AND your sister are probably going to meet your babies in the next couple of days. What an experience to share! Think how lovely it will be to have children almost exactly the same age

You're hormonal, not unreasonable

surroundedbyblondes · 26/04/2012 21:29

I totally understand you! I promise it won't be long now though and your little one is safe and happy in there for the time being.

Original poster

confuzed90 · 26/04/2012 21:36

I have already cried today...DP told me to 'get over it' about all the pains from contractions I've been having :( they are worse as the days come, hurts to walk when I have one! So maybe I am being hormonal. I'm just scared that as my baby, is going to be full term, healthy and come home, that no ones(family) going to be interested in him, and just on my niece as she's premature. I feel like maybe he'll be pushed aside.especially as I have two sisters and I'm the outsider out of us anyway. Urgh I'm like the green eyed monster!

OP posts:

Kveta · 26/04/2012 21:40

your DP is being very unreasonable, what an arse! do you have a TENS machine? worth getting one to deal with the latent phase IME.

hope your DP is more sympathetic, you poor thing :( if not, can you kick him in the nads every time you have a contraction, and tell him to get over it if he winces?

JealousCow · 26/04/2012 21:43

If it is any comfort, I am jealous of a friend who has cancer because I have an incurable disabling condition and wish I could have something which could either be treated or would kill me (have name changed). Clearly IABVVVVVU and I have (of course) hidden it from her, but I can't seem to help it. So please don't beat yourself up. Anyway being envious of someone going into labour sounds to me to be completely normal & understandable.

luckysocks · 26/04/2012 21:44

Another one sending lots of empathy here... I was overdue with DS and I was a blinking nightmare.

And give your DP a swift kick from everyone here! 'Get over it'... for goodness sake.

As for your sister, talk about stealing your thunder

Like others have said, concentrate on yourself and try as best you can to enjoy your last few days of peace x

theressomethingaboutmarie · 27/04/2012 09:06

Agreed with posters who say to give your DH a kick in the nads with every contraction. Who the eff does he think he is?

mrswee · 27/04/2012 09:36

hi confuzed90 Iam sorry you are going through this. I had almost exactly the same with my first. Contractions started on the monday every 5 - 10 mins 24/7, no sleep so speak of and no rest for the 5 days. During this time four of our friends had their babies.. yes that's right 4! all of which were not due until after my DD. I cried at everyone of the good news texts, felt really bad for not being as happy for them as I should have been, or worried in the case of one friend who was 4 weeks early, but I was in pain and had had no sleep and the only way it would finish was for DD to be born or at least for me to be let in the bloody hospital!! so you have my sympathy, very much so!

Everything finally speaded up enough to allowed in the hospital on the friday night, DD was born on the saturday eve.. so hopefully not much longer for you now!! good luck with everything, soon you will have your baby and this will be a distant memory. X

AdiVic · 27/04/2012 09:56

Poor you - lets invent a contraction mimicking machine that we can strap to men and turn right up!!! I love my OH, but he has no sympathy, or any grain of understanding how hard it is being P.

You are bound to feel a bit all over the place in your situation - your sister has gone into labour and there you are battling on, suffering:( 36 weeks IS a bit early, but babies have been born earlier and been ok, so I doubt her baby will get much more attention, and do you know what? So what if it does for a bit - the day will come when your little one shines:) As long as they are both ok.

I think it's lovely the 2 cousins will be so close in age - do you have a close relationship with your sister/live close?

My first was 2 weeks overdue so i feel your pain! I have a risk of going early with this one, 36w now and am hoping and praying even though i feel like shi*, that he does not come now.

Try not to worry, relax and go with it - not alot you can do, and you will feel better in a few days :) Good luck

Original poster

confuzed90 · 27/04/2012 10:47

No I'm not close to them, both my sisters are like best pals and go out for meals and what not together but I don't get invited. Quite thankful though as when I see them they always have something to brag about, like how much things cost and what not, I'm the youngest, I know exactly how much everything cost for my sisters daughter, I have know idea why they feel the need to try and prove themselves better then me, oh well. I have everything I need and not in my overdraft unlike them.
As for DP, he is never and never has been sympathetic,always tells me to get over it, with everything and anything that upsets me. But I will definatly have to hurt him with every contraction if he doesn't care! Lol.

I got a bit upset this morning, as my other sister text me about how excited she was for our niece to arrive, as we already have to boys in the family, my DS and my nephew, but no girls, she was also saying how much she can't wait to spoil her and cuddle her, that she's going to be spoilt rotten for being a girl. Didn't once ask how I was, but that could just be my extremely jealous thinking.

OP posts:

sedgieloo · 27/04/2012 11:00

Poor you going overdue is miserable, I loved being pregnant, proper happy and enjoyed it all, but once I went into my 41st week the experience completely changed for me. I was so very uncomfortable, ached everywhere, couldn't move with SPD and getting tons of braxton hic's my mum and dh were watching me constantly expecting to have to rush me to the delivery suite any second, my phone going off all the time asking if anything was happing - ugh!

Sorry to tell you but I went into my 43rd week or 17 days over and then I was induced. Can you talk to your midwife about your options, s&s, induction etc. I wanted to avoid all of this but in the end it was inevitable anyway so this time I'm just going to hurry things on.

Yes probably you are being over sensitive/harsh but, I can understand it tbh. You will feel altogether different very soon and won't have any time to think about what anyone else is up to or their insensitivities, just hold on you will not be pregnant forever :)

Original poster

confuzed90 · 28/04/2012 08:38

Ok I feel very guilty for getting so upset, my sister is still waiting to have her baby, been in hospital for days and is not reacting to gels for her cervix, trying drip (even though she's not effacing or soft, is long and hard) so chance of it working is slim, most likely a section later!
Yet I went into labour yesterday and had my beautiful little boy this morning! Xx

OP posts:

titchy77 · 28/04/2012 09:15

Wow congratulations! Hope your sisters doing ok.

heliumballoons · 28/04/2012 09:23

Congratulations

DonnaDoon · 28/04/2012 09:24

Yay thats brilliant well done you!

Original poster

confuzed90 · 28/04/2012 11:54

Can tell she was heartbroken bless her. I feel terribly guilty now :( I can't believe my little boy decided to come! I'd eventually accepted the fact I was closing down to induction! Then pow a strong contraction hit and never went :)

OP posts:

rightontime · 28/04/2012 12:02

Congratulations Don't feel guilty for your feelings. I felt exactly the same when I went overdue with DS1 and everyone from antenatel classes had their babies first and 2 friends from work were due after me but had their babies first. It is an awful time when you are waiting.

This time round my sister is due one day before me (Luckily she is having a boy cos if it was a girl my mum would definitely treat it different from my 2 - potentially 3 boys) and already the comparisons have started.

rightontime · 28/04/2012 12:03

Hope everything works out ok for your sister and that she meets her baby soon. As long as it gets here safe and sound that is the main thing.

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