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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Confused and unsupported by my partner- any advice would be much appreciated!

4 replies

Frankls · 26/04/2012 07:06

Hi

Any advice anyone can give me would be much appreciated. Im 26 yrs old with a 6 yr old daughter from a previous relationship where her father walked out and left us- shes never had anything to do with him. I've been with my partner nearly 2 years and the relationship is good other than his family- they dont approve of me and try to make things difficult at every opportunity. I recently found out I'm pregnant. This is unplanned and a shock. I told my partner last Friday and his initial re-action was all about his family who keep threatening to disown him if he doesnt leave me as well as violence towards me. He wants me to have an abortion which is something I know I couldn't go through- it's a life to me and it would kill me.
Things are so awkward now with me not wanting to be pregnant with his baby but not being able to go through with a temination. In my opinion the baby is my responsibility now and as an adult i have to face my responsibility. I've raised a child alone before and allthough this isnt what i wanted I could do it again. I just feel so alone and angry. Angry with myself for being stupid enough not to see this reaction coming even though everyone has been warning since his mum started with her aggressive behaviour and he at the age of 31 didn't put her in her place, angry with him for not being more supportive and for want of a better phrase not growing a pair and standing up for us and angry with his family because of their behaviour!

He keeps telling me how much he loves me and doesnt want to loose me but I don't know what to think anymore and how much of what he says I can actually trust.

So confused, please help if you can!

xxx

OP posts:
CupOfBrownJoy · 26/04/2012 07:23

If he is being violent towards you you need to remove yourself, your child and your unborn baby from that situation to safety.

Have you got family you can go to?

Irrespective of whether he tells you he loves you, yadda yadda. Words are easy, and do not negate the fact that he is putting you and your children in danger.

CupOfBrownJoy · 26/04/2012 07:25

Sorry just re-read and it looks as if his family are threatening violence towards you.

At this point he either stands up for you, or I wouldn't be able to see a future for the relationship. Do you really want your baby around these people as he/she grows up?

mattysmum09 · 26/04/2012 07:43

I feel so bad for you reading this it must be awful. I was also on my own with one child for a time and wanted desperately for things to work out better next time but unfortunately i made bad choices and even worse mistakes by getting pregnant by a horrible person, as I had realised he was not a nice person and i needed him out of my life i did have a termination, for me it was a relief but i cant say i ever got over it especialy as i did want more children and subsequent misscarriages just made me feel more guilt for the life i had ended... he sounds horrible saying he loves you but not standing up for you and telling you to have an abortion. If you definitely want go through with pregnancy you should tell him and make it clear he can either support you and be behind you 100% or leave your life completely. I dont know what is wrong with some people but i think the world can be so judgmental of the women who are left with no real options and have to deal with so much on their own. That said I'm sure you would cope fine especially as your son is older now, do what is right for you and surround yourself with supportive people xxx

Thumbwitch · 26/04/2012 07:47

Just get rid of him now. If he cared about you as much as he says he does, then he wouldn't let his family treat you so badly - therefore he doesn't.
Get rid - if he really cares about you enough, he'll sort his family out and come after you on his knees (he won't).

Only have an abortion if it's what YOU feel is right - otherwise don't.

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