Hospital can't confirm miscarriage!

[Mel103]

Hi everyone. This is my first post. I am 8 weeks pregnant and since last Monday had very light spotting and only once a day. On Sunday I had a little more than that looks like normal spotting so started to worry and made some phone calls. In the end was referred for a scan at EPAU this morning. They did an internal scan which did not pick up a heart beat and only measured my preegnancy to be 6 weeks. I have to go back in two weeks for another scan and am totally confused about the 6wks, as I know my dates (used an digital ovulation monitor). I have been keeping track of my cycles very closely even using a spreadsheet! (sad I know), so I am confused as to why the pregnancy can be 2 weeks off. My only solution is that I have miscarried and that the baby has stopped growing at 6 weeks. I am trying to stay positive but realistic until 2 weeks time. Any advise out there?

[tightwad]

This is very very early.
It really is a case of waiting to see what happens in the next 2 weeks, you will either continue to bleed and complete a miscarriage or it will settle down, and you will have a wee bean on that screen and all will be well.

Its just very frustrating, worrying and upsetting, but keep positive love x

[vlmnw7]

Hi,sorry to hear about your story... I have previously been in exactly the same situation as you before. Unfortunately there isn't really any thing you can do other than try not to worry and take things easy for the next couple of weeks. Good luck, stay strong and keep us posted after your next ultrasound.x

[FoofFighter]

It could be a slow grower :) or it could sadly be a missed miscarriage and unfortunately until either a mc starts or you have a repeat scan that shows a heartbeat and a grown baby that there's no way of knowing or doing anything. Limbo and it sucks.

Really hoping for you it is a slow starter, for me unfortunately was the latter, I was sure of my dates too and wanted them to outright tell me there and then but protocol means they simply cannot for at least a week.

hang in there x

[Mel103]

Thanks everybody, all your posts mean a lot! I think I will mentally try and stay strong while expecting the worse. Then anything else will be good news.
FoofFighter do you know where I can find out about slow grower in pregnancies (my OH also said this might be the case)

[Catsycat]

Sorry you are having a hard time. I had a mc last June, and had scans at 5, 7 and 9 weeks before a mc was confirmed. It is just too early for them to tell, because what they are looking at is so very tiny. It is really hard, but you do just need to wait and see what happens. By 8 weeks they should be able to see more clearly what the situation is.

It's tough to give advice really, but I would say just to try and distract yourself if possible, get lots of rest, and be kind to yourself. Also, don't be afraid to talk about what is happening, either to a partner, friend, or just on MN. I found I needed support, and was surprised how many people in RL and on MN were prepared to offer it.

Bleeding/spotting in pg is really common, and it doesn't always mean a mc. I hope everything will work out well for you. Take care.

[FoofFighter]

I don't know any links, I didn't read as I knew in my heart of hearts mine was gone although I desperately hoped I was wrong. My scan person told me they have seen many people who were apparently certain of dates then turned out they weren't and also about this slow growing thing. I hope it wasn't a delaying tactic/false hope thing she told me

Google I suppose?

[bonzo77]

Just checking in and hand holding. I've been there too. Scan at 12 wks showing 6 wk pregnancy, 10 day wait to confirm mmc. It's a horrible wait especially when you suspect that the outcome might not be great. Try to stock up on painkillers, books and nice snacks in case things kick off. Hoping that they don't, but holding your hand if they do.

[Mel103]

I am googling it at the mo thanks FoofFighter so hopefully will get "educated" a bit more. Thanks Catcycat for your post too. I already have an almost 3 year old boy, so at least he is keeping me busy. I have only told my sister about this, and we are going to wait for next scan to tell anyone else of outcome.

[Mel103]

Cheers bonzo77!!

[sunshinesue]

8/6 weeks is very early. baby grows loads during this time and even being a few days out with your dates can mean a large difference in size/development. I was told scans can easily be a week out at this stage so if they're dating early by a week and you're dating late by a few days you've got a couple of weeks there. Ovulation gear is not 100%.

I know how horrible it is not knowing, my dates were 4/5 weeks out which I knew was impossible but your situation really does sound more hopeful. Don't give up and good luck x

[Mel103]

Thanks sunshinesue. I must admit that I started the day feeling anxious on the way to te EPAU (33 mins away by car), feeling numb after the visit and now feeling much calmer and more positive about things. Thanks everybody for your posts; it does help to hear from people who has been through similar things and this is helping me to get through this than much more than any professional can!

[Mel103]

Hi everybody. I lot has happened since my last message. I have since miscarried (yesterday to be precised - while in the shops!) Going for another scan tomorrow to make sure everything has flushed out by it self. I have to say mentally both my DH and I have already come to terms before it even happened as the spotting/bleeding continued and increased. Physically still having pains and bleeding though. I guess it is back to TTC again soon hopefully. Have any of you been on the TTC boat since MC?

[sunshinesue]

Oh Mel I'm so sorry.

Physically my bleeding and pain tailed off pretty quickly after my mc. Hopefuly your scan will show you've passed everything and you and your DH can start to move on.

As for TTC again, I'm now 9 weeks pregnant . Advice I was given is that there's no reason you can't start trying straight away if you feel ready. Good luck x

[Mel103]

Hi Sunshinesue, thanks for your message. I've been away from the PC for a bit; had to help my little boy with his building blocks...
Hopefully today will be the last of my mc passing through. Congrats on the 9 weeks too, very happy for you :)) May I ask how long it took for you to conceive after mc? And have you been for earlier scans (i have read somewhere that if you had a mc, you'll get earlier scan in your next pregnancy). Sorry with all the Q&A, this is new territory for me, and feel it is better to hear from someone whose BTDT.

[Missgiraffe1]

Awe, mel, so sorry to hear that. I was there last year: only sac could be seen, was sure I should be a couple of weeks further on than EPU said it measured. Then the dreaded wait. Turned out to be blighted ovum. Sac kept growing and I didn't want to wait it out, so had the op to remove.
Positive stories helped me at that time, so I just wanted to let you know that, although it took 7 long weeks for me to have a period, I got pg in the next cycle, and am due on Sunday.
Wishing you all the best in your future pregnancy. X

[Mel103]

Hi Missgiraffe1, that is absolute great news on your expectant birth. Let me know of the outcome. It is always good to hear some good news after some sad times. In my discharge yesterday, apart from the clots that usually comes with mc, the actual intact membrane came out too (took a picture of it on my phone, as it was weird and different). When I showed it to the EPAU team, they said it looked like the membrane, so that's what I'm assuming it was. having a very lazy day today to try and get over yesterday's "rush". PS. Good luck for when labour kicks in

[sunshinesue]

It actually happened to me twice but from what I can gather I'm REALLY unlucky and it's not at all common so don't worry about that!

After the first it took 4 months to concieve again and after the second just two months (it had taken me 7 months to get pregnant the first time so I like to think we're getting better at it!). I mc the first naturally and I think it took about 5/6 weeks for my period to come back, the second period was a bit early but they returned to a regular cycle after that.

Early scanning seems to vary depending on who you speak to . My dr told me 2 mc was enough justification alone for an early scan (I'd gone with bleeding) so I had one at 6 weeks (all good!) but when I spoke the midwife afterwards she said they wouldn't offer reassurance scans, I hadn't even asked and told her i'd already had one! Private is always an option if you can afford it, I've got one on Saturday (£99).

Feel free to fire any questions, I know what it's like to feel in the dark. x

[Missgiraffe1]

Thanks, and I think a lazy day is a must for you. Hope you're being looked after and your little boy is providing a welcome distraction.
I was told that these things are mostly one-offs and that there was no reason to doubt I would have a successful pg next time around. And here I am.
One piece of advice I would give is, check your hormone level has dropped by testing until you get bfn. I didn't do this &, as no period had arrived after 4.5 weeks, I tested and got a bfp. Got all excited that I might be pg again. Turned out it was left over hormone and got a bfn a few days later. Was a bit of a horrible few days. I didn't realise the hormones could hang around for so long (although should have, as it took 10weeks to drop to 0 after treatment for ectopic the year before!)
Best wishes

[Catsycat]

I'm really sorry mel. Take all the time you need to recover, and be kind to yourself - glad you are having a lazy day.

I have 2 DDs (4 and 2) already, then had a mmc last June at 10 weeks, and had to have an ERPC after excessive bleeding and an A&E admission. It was very traumatic. I got my BFN after 2 weeks, but we left TTC until I had a period - after about 3 weeks - because we wanted to be able to date the pg properly. I started temp charting, and after 2 months, I got a BFP, but it was a CP and ended a few days later. The following month, I also used OPKs, got another BFP and am now 36 weeks pg and booked in for an ELCS on May 21st. I have found the pregnancy very stressful this time, as I have worried about absolutely everything, and am even more aware of how lucky I am to be pg. The EPU allowed me to self-refer for a 7 week viability scan, which was really reassuring.

I got really good support from DH, my friends, my GP, the EPU and MN, so don't be afraid to talk or ask for help if you feel you need it.

Take care.

[vlmnw7]

Hi Mel I am so so sorry to hear your outcome... but yes there are positive stories out there so stay strong and positive for your future. As I mentioned earlier in the thread I went through exactly the same thing last year (I had a different user name then but Catsycat and I went through it together on here). I fell pregnant again the month after the miscarriage but sadly it was not meant to be - I think it was too soon. But I am now currently 22 weeks pregnant! So please take some time to heal and come to terms with things and then I wish you all the luck in the world with trying again.x

[Dinosaurdrip]

Hi mel, I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you are being kind to yourself and resting and giving yourself time to grieve.

Similar happened to me in December last year I had an erpc though. I stopped bleeding after about 10 days, had a normal period about 5 weeks later and then my periods returned to my regular 33 day cycle after that.

Some say you are more fertile straight after a mc, my sister conceived even before her first period following a mc. Drs will probably recommend you wait to ttc until you have a proper period but I think this is just to help when dating a pregnancy.

It took me 4 months of neuroticness to conceive again and I am now 6/7weeks pregnant and hoping this one has a happy ending.

[Mel103]

Hi everyone. Thanks so much for all your replies, as you know it provides a lot of comfort and education. I am still on what seems to be like industrial looking pads (changing every 1-1,5 hours). When I went in yesterday to see how the mc is progressing, there was still a lot of bleeding (and still is). They have taken some swaps and blood for iron count as the doctor mentioned that there might be an infection!! she mentioned the dreaded endometriosis word which at this stage is slightly worrying, but I'm trying not to think about it too much. Going in for another scan next week. I did say to my DH that I should take some cupcakes with as I am almost on first name basis with staff :). 3 visits already in less than 2 weeks. Going to let family know tomorrow, so hopefully they will cope with news so that we all can move on. I have to say one week of spotting, one week of light bleeding, and then few days of "period" bleeding followed by MC on Tuesday and constant bleeding - will it ever stop . I know it will I'm just mentally and definitely physically feeling drained...