Anyone pregnant with toddler? I can't remember why I thought this was a good idea.

[belindarose]

Having a particularly bad time with DD (2.7) at the moment. 30 weeks, feeling pretty tired anyway. Night times are terrible and daytimes also have their moments. Finding it difficult not to get irritated by DD and her constant demands and feel horribly guilty that I'm not as patient and fun as normal. She's jot really any different than she was, it's me, but can't expect her to understand that.

Absolutely dreading what it'll be like with another one.

Sorry for the self pity.

I have never been in this position so I can't speak from experience (I am 16+5 with a 1 year old- which I am guessing is easier to please than a toddler) but perhaps planning the day would help you and your daughter.

Would she be interested in a Disney movie while you nap on the sofa? then once that's finished you'll have more energy to play with her :)

Thanks. No, she's far too busy for tv of any kind! I hate it when I'm short with her, or properly cross - not that she's in the slightest bit bothered about it! Today's tricks have included throwing poo all over her room, trapping the cat in the wardrobe and pouring water all over the dog. We've also had lots of cuddles, about a million stories, new puzzle and glue/ glitter/ tissue paper sticking. Oh, and a long dog walk. So she's not deprived. But I'm a bit of an emotional wreck and am not enjoying having negative feelings towards her.

And as for bonding with this soon to be neglected second born, no chance of that!

I remember feeling like that when I was pg with dd2. My Dd's are 4 and 2 now and they do have their moments of course but they often play together brilliantly and they look after each other which is really lovely. Also they have totally different personalities which I think is a good thing (they are both wonderful but I couldn't deal with two of either of them!). I hope that makes you feel a bit better about what you have to look forward to!

I can see now that the stuff dd1 missed out on while I was lying asleep on the couch for nine months pregnant, has been more than made up for since she became a big sister. They learn so much from each other. So don't feel guilty, you're giving your dd something really special in becoming a big sister.

Some practical advice: I let my eldest watch tv when I needed to rest and I knew a few of her favourite books from memory so would "read" to her when I couldn't keep my eyes open any more.

Chin up, youve not got too much longer to go!

Thank you, that's very helpful (although made me cry but that's not hard!). She's so excited about the baby, but obviously has mixed feeling as well. I've had to reduce childcare as she's so sad at nursery (so taking her to work with me on that day - she's still happy with CM), so am finding her extra intense.

I love her personality - she's been on the feisty side since the day she was born - but am definitely hoping the next one (a DS) is very different!

I just feel so awful having negative thoughts about her and am sometimes physically pushing her away (as she has rediscovered her old need to constantly have her hand fiddling in my bra...).

"Absolutely dreading what it'll be like with another one."

Remember, when the next one is here you won't be pregnant! :)

It really does make all the difference.

I'm 29 weeks with DC3 (DD1 is 4, DD2 is 2.2) and the thing I've found really helping this time is accepting my tiredness and trying to conserve my energy for the important stuff and either let other stuff go or let DH deal with it.

Last time I tried to be a hero and I was very ratty with DD1 at times and felt like an awful mother for being so out of sorts and inflicting a new baby on her.

Now she and her sister are great pals, my guilt was misplaced :)

i understand. im in the early stages with number two and can't seem to stop feeling guilty that daughter is watching cbeebies whilst im so sick! but as one of my friends said you are growing another life inside you when baby is here she won't remember this time at all. good luck don't be too hard on yourself xx

Hi,
dd2 was born when dd1 was 2.8years. To be honest I found it is easier having a baby and a toddler than being pregnant with a toddler. I was helped by dd1 absolutely adoring her baby sister although her possessiveness did get wearing at times.

I've no experience but I thought how about audio books?

I have DD and I'm contemplating putting off when to have #2, so I might lurk a bit too

I am 31 weeks with a 2.7 yo as well. I find lots of activities and getting out of the house at least once a day keeps him occupied. However it's hard when you are knackered so we do baking and watch rather a lot of mr tumble!
Ds also goes to a local playgroup at the school 3 days a week from 9 to 11 which is a godsend as it's only £4 a session and he really enjoys it and comes home happy and tired.
I presume dd will have a nursery place after the summer will she? 5 mornings a week? So that will give you some breathing space and give her something of her own to focus on.
I get ds to help me a lot round the house as well, hanging out washing or dishwashing etc and he really loves getting involved so we have talked about him helping me with the baby and he is really excited about meeting her.
Also have boob fascination here too and often have a cheeky wee afternoon nap together which is lovely bonding time!
Good luck with the rest of your pg

'Pregnant with a toddler' - Wow! Have you asked about induction ?

I'm so with you. I'm 30 weeks too, and DS is 20 months, and not really into TV (I try, believe me I try...) At the moment I'm getting through it by taking him out every morning and afternoon, and hoping he exhausts himself in the sandpit/ the playpark/ kicking a ball around while I sit and watch. I'm knackered, mega hormonal, keep bursting into tears and am dreading the arrival of the baby. Thank you to all those who say that it is actually easier when the baby is born. It gives me some hope at least.....

Not just me then! Thanks for all your replies. I haven't really got anyone in RL who would get it. BF with similar toddler who would understand has just had an MMC so is the last person I can whine to about being pregnant, poor thing.

Did realise how daft the title sounded after I posted!

It's much easier when the baby is here because you really will feel better and you follow your older child's routrine plus it is remarkable from what a young age they start entertaining each other. Good luck

33 weeks with a 2.6 yo here. spending a lot of time wondering what the heck we are doing :o Luckily I work 5 days a week (school length days though) so DS is tired out from nursery/CM and gets a lot of attention at both places. I spend time with him reading books and playing with new toys, by lying on the floor in his room trying to stay awake whilst he cackles and gallops about the place. By new toys, I mean new to him - they are keeping him occupied really well. A marble run seems to be his current favourite.

still bfing him, so can't comment on the boob obsession, as DS has always been boob obsessed. He keeps trying to jump on bump though, which is uncomfortable, and is calling the baby 'Enemy' (she's going to be called Emilie) which is partly :o but also a wee bit :(

I am so irritable just now too, and DS is pushing boundaries wherever he can find them. It's hard to stay consistant and not just bellow at him every time he does something atrocious. Not long now though...

There was a similar gap between DD1 and 2 and I'm pregnant with DC4, DD3 is just 3. Its hardcore but gets easier. Honest.

I know exactly that you mean. DS is 2.8 and I am 28 weeks pregnant, but struggling quite badly with PGP this time around. I feel awful on him, he is such a good little thing, but has his moments, and I am so lacking in patience with him. I have zero patience with the endless 'why' questions at the moment, and he just seems to take so so long to do anything. He wants to walk down the stairs himself/ get in his car seat/ take his own shoes off, which are all great, but they take him forever to do, and sometimes I just want them done!

Also, I don't feel very 'fun' and I am constantly saying down bounce on my tummmy/ don't press on my boobs/ don't pull on my arm/ don't swing on my feet etc as they all hurt/ arn't great for baby.

So, no advice, but plenty of empathy!

Puffykins, I have a 21 month old who was not interested in tv til very recently. However, he has started to like picking nursery rhymes from Youtube which has lead into ABCs, numbers, shapes songs and Peppa Pig too. He won't sit and watch whatever happens to be on cbeebies though.

Might be worth a try!

Plenty of empathy here too! I'm 15 weeks, work ft and am constantly knackered which doesn't leave a lot of time for DS who is 21m. I feel especially guilty at weekends as I want to be playing with him but also want / need constant naps.

Luckily DP has been fantastic and spends loads of time amusing him but i can't help feeling bad that he is getting a tired whingy mummy.

Am slightly scared at the thought of how I'm going to cope with 2 of them running me ragged but glad to hear some people say it isn't as bad as being pregnant! Just need to get some energy from somewhere...

DS has taken quite a liking for Disney films that I have only recently noticed are on YouTube. Not all of them, but a big collection of them, including Toy Story, Hunchback of Notre Dame, Sleeping Beauty etc. DS's recent fav is Pinnochio which he has watched 3 times this week

These come in handy if we have been out all day, and I need to lie down when we get in.

DS is also 2.7, I will be 34 weeks on tues (not counting!). His current favourite word is 'NO' and nothing I do is right, even when he asks me to do something! Am in loads of pain with PGP as well, cannot get down on the floor to play as cannot get up again, he has decided that sticking,painting etc are 'boring' so cannot sit and do nice 'gentle' activities, cannot really do much other than shuffle about the house cursing silently to myself as I try in vain to keep up with him...was looking forward to the nursery hours in Sept, but he is refusing point blank to even attempt potty training so that may be a no-no...sigh !!

SLEEPING ME TOO!

sorry caps lock. come join us on the june thread!

I'm 40 weeks today with a 7YO DD and 2.8YO DD! yes it's hard, but what I've found really helpful is letting DD2 help with new baby's things, ie hanging clothes sorting nappies etc.
I also got her a little baby born doll and pram, gave her some tiny clothes, nappies, wipes and a bottle and she is more than happy to play and amuse herself with these!