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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Well that was awkward...(and upsetting)

9 replies

AnnaMariaWhiskers · 17/04/2012 19:49

I'm 4 months pregnant, and a few weeks back I was sent a letter inviting me to antenatal classes. I thought that it was a bit early, but didn't really think anything much more of it. So I turned up to the class yesterday with DH and pillow, noticing that all the other women in the room were obviously much more pregnant than me, and were giving me looks like 'what's that skinny girl doing here?'. Then a list came round which we had to write our names and due dates on. So I did this, I put September but realised that everyone else was due late May/early June.

Then it dawned on me. I'd been sent a letter to go to antenatal classes for the baby I had miscarried in the autumn which would have been due in early June. I had to get up in front of everyone to speak to the MW about it, it was so awkward. She apologised, said it was probably an admin error (I hadn't been crossed off a list), and said I could stay if I wanted. The fact that I was now crying, in front of everyone, meant it was pretty obvious I was going to leave. I was really embarrassed, and in a split second it brought back all the memories of losing the baby (obviously I'm please to be pregnant now, but it's not a 'replacement', I still miss the one I lost). So I left. How insensitive. I can't imagine how much worse it had been if I'd not been pregnant again and recieved that letter.

I don't really know why I'm writing this on here. Just needed to get it out of my system I suppose. I hope no one else has to go through the same thing.

OP posts:
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wilmot · 17/04/2012 19:56

I am so sorry. That's appalling Sad

I am pleased you spoke to the midwife, so she can follow this up for you. This should not have happened to you. You could contact PALS, if you want to complain further.

bunbabybun · 17/04/2012 20:05

Hey Anna,
Did not want to read and run.
That does sound awkward.
I mc'd last year and am pg again now also, but still occasionally get emails reminding me how far along I would be if the first has stayed. I can't seem to make cow and gate understand.
I also got a phone call from my midwife several weeks after my mc asking why id missed my 16 week appt!! She was of course apologetic, but at the time everything was still very raw. It is still upsetting whenever something reminds me of it but getting easier esp with new pg.

Congratulations on your current pg though!Smile

scarletforya · 17/04/2012 20:09

Oh OP, that is awful. I'm so sorry you had such an upsetting experience and sorry for your loss too.

Best of luck with this pregnancy.

AnnaMariaWhiskers · 18/04/2012 08:30

Thank you for your kind comments. Most appreciated. Best wishes to you all x

OP posts:
Aworryingtrend · 18/04/2012 08:46

I'm so sorry. What an awful thing to happen, I am not surprised you are so upset it must have brought it all back. Hope you are feelign ok.

geekette · 18/04/2012 17:20

:( That shouldn't have happened.

YouAREworthIt · 18/04/2012 17:24

That sounds very upsetting.

I had a similar situation in that when I went in to be checked my noted said I was further on that I actually was as I had lost the baby and conceived again within weeks. So the monitor dates were always wrong and I had to see them every week for months. They said they would change them..

Combinearvester · 18/04/2012 17:34

Oh I'm so sorry you had to go through this. In my last pregnancy went to EPU for an early scan and was handed some notes which contained previous scan photos. The scan photos were actually of the baby I had lost in the second trimester of the pregnancy before. I was in absolute pieces when I got into the scan room as I was there due to bleeding in the current pregnancy, so last thing I needed was photos of the baby that I hadn't managed to keep safe before.

FWIW a lot of people are probably feeling pretty awful right now. And I can imagine it won't happen to anyone in your area again. Still that doesn't help you though.

oikopolis · 18/04/2012 18:54

oh OP that's really inexcusable Sad
what if you hadn't fallen pregnant again and you'd got the notice anyway!!!

i'm sorry for your loss, and want to extend my congratulations on your current pregnancy. and i'm so sorry that happened to you, i would have been really upset.

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