When to tell work ur pregnant.

[mytime777]

Hi

I'm 6 weeks pregnant and have my 'booking ' appointment 9th may. I was keen to keep it under wraps until My scan etc however I am aware that the sooner u tell your employer the better as u are better protected etc.
What I want to know is if I tell my boss is she legally obliged to keep it to her self I.e is it a confidential matter' or would it be normal for others to know who are/ will be effected?
Basically at this early stage I would only want the md to know but she is very closely liked to my direct manager and the sales team so don't want it being everyone's business until my scan at least.

The other thing is I am due to visit head office soon to discuss my pay and my possible rise. If I don't before then I doubt I will get it so think I may be best to wait until after then.
This meeting is likely just before my booking in appointment however it not definite.

What I'm asking is should I wait to tell them until after my pay review meeting?
And when I tell them ( before my 12 week scan- before intell the world )will everyone get told or will it be confidential?

God sorry to rabbit on... This is All new to me. :-)

There's no obligation to tell your employer about your pregnancy until something like 20 weeks iirc.

If you ask your MD to keep things confidential, she should, AND it shouldn't affect your pay review (that would be descriminatory) - however tbvh if I were in your shoes I'd wait until after my pay review to be on the safe side, and just say my absence for my booking in appointment was for a GP appointment......

Your manager should keep it secret if you ask them to. I know that legally you have to tell your employer at least 15 weeks before your due date (when you're about 5 months).

I told my boss after I'd had my 12 week scan. I asked him not to mention it to anyone until I said it was ok, and he was ace about it. I decided to wait until my 12 week scan, as if there had been any problems with the baby etc, I think it would have been easier to explain things. (Does that make sense? 38 week baby brain)

I think it will Be best to wait until after my pay review as i do think it would effect things ( although it shouldn't ) however due to the company, how it's run etc I think it would be best they knew earlier ( to protect myself) but there is always the horrid thought that if i tell people before my scan I could have to explain / go through and tell everyone if problems etc and I don't know if I could bear that.
I work for a small company and all senior staff are very closely linked and besides as it's a small company I'm more concerned that I need the law on my side iykwim!
Plus I don't work in the same place as them and so it would be easy for them to all talk about it with out me knowing

I would be inclined to keep schtum until after your pay review. Whilst to deny you an increase because of your pregnancy would be discriminatory, proving discrimination would be quite tricky. When are you due to have this review?

Thats what i thought! It would be tough to prove .They said end of April however already have tried to put it back due to 'this and that' so I think it is likely May! ( beginning ifI have anything to do with it)

Something else to think about is that if you tell your boss and then, god forbid, something goes wrong and you lose the baby, you will no longer have the extra legal protection a pregnant woman has and it will be common knowledge that you're ttc... that's something worth considering imho, if your job's not too secure.

McPopcornMouseNFries has an excellent point. Work were aware of my mc last year and were very sympathetic etc. Our CEO told a senior staff member that theressomethingaboutmarie would be likely to have another baby in the near future and likely want to go part-time and reduce responsibilities etc. I read this (knowing exactly the type of person he is) to be a clear indicator that I would not be getting a promotion or payrise in the near future. Lo and behold, I was right.... (now pg with DC2).

popcornmouse I didn't think of that!

I think with that in mind Its definitely worth keeping schtum. Obviously I don't want to bear thinking about ' should the worst happen' however if it did that would be another added stress which could be avoided!

I've just told my boss today, at 14 weeks (he was like a rabbit in the headlights and tried very hard to say the right thing, bless him!).

I deliberatly did not tell him about the two miscarraiges I had last year for the reason mentioned above - even though my job is not (as far as I know!) particularly under threat, I am fairly sure I'd have been written out of the grand scheme as far as new projects etc go if it was common knowledge I was ttc. I am part time after DD and sometimes feel quite excluded as it is. I did get a vague hint of "here we go again" from the boss this morning (although he tried well to hide it!). Sad but true.

At 14 weeks I have had two scans and if anything went wrong now I would need some serious time off to sort it out, so I have nothing to lose by telling them.

I just told my work yesterday! I waited until 16 weeks because I was worried about what my boss would say (I'm currently on a maternity cover for someone else so on a temporary contract), and finally told them when I felt like I wouldn't be able to hide it for much longer. Luckily my boss was happy for me and not angry at all and I'd been worrying over nothing, such a weight off!

As said above you don't have to tell them until 15 weeks before you plan to go on maternity leave, though you should probably tell them sooner if you have a physical job - although it doesn't sound as though you do so you should be fine. I agree with everyone who has said you should wait until your pay review, I think it would be hard to prove discrimination so why risk it unless you need to?

"to protect yourself": if there are H&S issues which mean you need protection (eg from chemicals) or you need lighter duties (police, armed forces) then you really do need to tell them asap. You cannot bring a case for failing to keep you safe in pregnancy if they are unaware of the pregnancy.

It is,I am afraid, a myth that you cannot be made redundant during pregnancy. You cannot be made redundant because of pregnancy, but if redundancies are on the cards (if that is what you mean by protection) then you will be assessed against the criteria in the same way as everyone else.

There are additional rights about being offered alternative posts, but during a general down-sizing it is frankly very rare there are any.

I waited until twenty weeks, told them a few days ago, and even then have asked it not to be made widely public quite yet... Not keen on it affecting how others interact with me professionally. Managers were very understanding of hat. But i think by twenty weeks most people are usually more visibly pregnant... I am practically invisible ( which i wrote about in another thread)

Although i didnt tell work early i did study the company maternity policy in massive detail and so when i told them i had written the specific letter they ask for with all the information they needed, like envisioned date of retirn, summary of my current duties, keeping in tuch day outlines etc. They appreciated the detail.

Unless there are no major health risks on what you do on a daily basis, I would keep quiet until after your review. IMO companies can be quite sneaky when it comes to these things, and like others have said i'm sure they could cover it up well and still treat you differently - it's a tough time out there and (unfortunately) businesses will think of themselves, I know it's against the law but it happens and can't be proven. As much as there are people at work I want to tell, I'm keeping quiet for as long as poss- I already feel excluded now I'm a parent/work part time and if they knew it would be worse (not a 'baby friendly' work, where managers etc are all without children of their own etc)
You know your employers best I guess.

Whatever you decide best of luck

Ps I have been made redundant on returning from mat leave previously - it was horrid now I really do put myself/family at all times

I'm also finding it difficult to decide whether to tell my employers now or at 12 weeks (currently 9+3). I am utterly exhausted and vommety, and have taken today off sick because of it (yes...feeling guilty, but honesty, limbs like TREACLE). My work involves heavy lifting quite often, and I've already had to fob colleagues off with bad-back excuses. I am worried that they will guess before I've had a chance to tell them (I have but on belly weight that shows already, being a skinny-minny and going down from 6 days a week exercise to 1 day if I'm lucky). They are NOT good employers, and have a dark history when it comes to getting round employment law. If I DO tell them, there's all the concern about MC and where that leaves me afterwards, but if I don't and they guess, I fear they might get the knife in before I am protected by the law. By telling them, I would hope for some understanding when it comes to H&S and general feeling like poo on a daily basis (there're not all bad!)....any thoughts? This is my first...