Have you thought about a birth plan for DC2?

[Murtette]

I'm 36 weeks with DC2 and in my MW appt yesterday she asked to look at my birth plan. I just sat there blinking at her as it hasn't even occurred to me to do one this time. I'm not sure why not... whether because experience with DC1 told me you can't control these things or because I'm burying my head in the sand or because I'm so pre-occupied with thinking about who will look after DC1 (all friends seem to be on holiday the week of my due date and closest family are 4 hours away!) that I haven't actually thought about DC2.
So, those of you who are pregnant with DC2 (or subsequent) - how much thought have you put into your birth plan? And how does it differ from what happened with DC1?
When I do think about it, I'm hoping I'll just sneeze in a couple of weeks time and out will pop a baby but, give DC1 got well & truly stuck & was a forceps-in-theatre-whilst-being-prepped-for-a-section birth and this bump seems to be bigger, I have a feeling I may end up with a section. In which case perhaps I should go for an ELCS.
Thoughts, advice, comfort please! Of course, small hours insomnia isn't helping at the moment!

Jack all, frankly. I'll probably just print out the one for DC1 and cross out the bit that says "I don't want an epidural" . I'm having the same Obs for this one, same hospital etc. so I figure either it'll be pretty much the same, or it'll go wrong and I'll have a c-section, or it'll just fall out with minimum fuss. Not much I can do about it either way.

I am definitely of the "it will suck and then it will be over" rather than the "this will be a beautiful, empowering experience" school of thought though, so maybe this is just me.

Hi Murtette
This is my first so not really what you're asking, but I've also been awake since ridiculous o clock so thought I'd reply anyway!
People (as in friends and family, not MW yet as I'm 32 weeks so maybe a bit early) keep asking me if I've thought about a birth plan... To be honest I don't really see the point of putting a whole lot of thought into it. As I said, it's my first, so I'm probably being really naive about it, but really my "plan" is to go to hospital and have a baby.... Vaguely in my head I sort of think I'd like to try to do it with as little pain relief as possible and if there's a pool available it would be good to give that a go, but I've never done this before so how can I possibly plan what pain relief I'll have as I don't know what the pain is like nor how I'll cope with it. I'm assuming (again maybe this is naive) that the professionals looking after me will assess me in the moment and advise what I need depending on what the circumstances of the birth are and how I am coping. If you make a big detailed plan and things don't turn out how you'd planned because the birth is more complicated or whatever then surely that just makes you stressed at the time? I intend to go into birth knowing what the possible options are, but not having a specific plan. I kind of thought the baby will come out anyway even if I don't have a plan.... Or am I missing the point?! I think if I were in your position I'd definitely be more focused on practicalities for DC1 etc as that's something you can control whereas birth is a bit more out of your hands isn't it?

My birth plan for dd2 was to have an elective caesarian . Sorry, probably not much help!

My plan this time is that is like not to have an epidural but if I really need it, I'm not going to be ridiculous like last time and think that I'm some sort of failure for having one. Id like to go home as soon as possible afterwards instead of having to spend a couple of nights in hospital. But I can't really control that.

At least have a written view on whether you want an injection to deliver the placenta, vitamin k for the baby, involvement of students (if a teaching hospital) and whether you want baby handed to you straight away or cleaned first.
As otherwise they will ask you these things while you are in labour which can be bloody annoying especially if your birth partner doesn't know the answers either.

I wasn't going to bother as my first one went so out the window.
I am going to discuss my frist birth though as I would like some reassurances, as I had the consultant shout at the midwife that she should have known hours before that the baby wasn't in a position that she would be able to be born with out help, then they all went in to panick and rushed me to surgery.. luckly forceps worked.
Anyway I am thinking of going to the brand new birthing unit at the hospital which basically means youve already decided that you can't have an epidural and there is a pool in every room, so no need to write it all down.. I'm still not sure but have ages to decide and will wait until I have spoken again to my midwife, though I'm not sure really what she say or can really do to reassure me!

Good suggestions from helium, except I would say you should make sure your partner knows the answers too! I didn't have one for my first, and I won't this time either, except to say that I don't want diamorphine this time as I didn't like the feeling last time.

I'm watching this thread with interest as am due in about 6 weeks (scream) and am am in denial a bit.

I decided on a home birth at about 16 weeks, largely to get a birthing pool, and that's as far as I've got. We don't even have a Moses basket or any names agreed yet.

What are the other things I need to decide? Placenta, vitamin K, clean vs mucky baby. Anything else?

that is a good point heilumbaloon makes about the student thing, I said I wouldn't mind the last time and I was really pleased that I did, so I will mention that again.

I don't think anybody even looked at mine first time round and a friend laughed at me fir writing it. I will make sure DH know my preferences but can't be arsed with a plan this time round. good luck x

I've just been thinking about this this morning. I'm due to have a section in 7 weeks (eek!) but I still want to get a few things across because the first time I meet my mw will be the day of the op.

I've just written down a few sentences about why I've chosen a section (had an EMCS last time) and then requested the screen be lowered a little so I can see baby being lifted out and skin to skin asap if possible.

I've also asked for help with latching on in recovery.

If anything, it's more for me to have it written down than anything else. With DS I don't think the mw even looked at my plan but then nothing went to plan anyway!

Maybe stick with the basics like pain relief and medical students if you think it will satisfy your mw?

I'm with whatshesaid. Elective c-section, please! I have NO desire to repeat my first labour experience. I really don't care if people say it will be a lot quicker second time around. My local hospital is shite but its the only place you can go here, so I will cry and beg and do whatever it takes to get an elcs. DD was in SCBU for 5 days, I didn't even see her for 10 hours after she was born, because no one noticed my waters were leaking (first timer, I didn't know what I was looking for either) and I was completely ignored on the pre-labour ward for 12 hours. I complained to the trust and everything to back up my case.

Are you worried about the idea of another cs, or does it appeal?

Thanks. I'm glad I'm not the only one whose just planning on seeing what happens. My plan last time was along the lines of:

• get the baby out as quickly & safely as possible
• I am open to having an epidural and/or a c-section
• I will be sick

so its not as if I over-thought it last time. Originally, I had wanted to try a water birth but, as I was induced, it wasn't an option.

Interesting points raised by Helium which I hadn't thought of as, last time, they just got on with it all whilst paging more & more emergency teams to come & deal with me & DD.

MrsWee - I was supposed to have a birth reflections session a few weeks ago but the hospital appear to have lost my notes.

My plan was: Home birth, no drugs if possible, whale music (ok so that wasn't in it but you get my drift), no injection for placenta.

In reality I was induced, had a a very last minute epidural, 1000 doctors on standby and looking at my fanjo. I had a blood transfusion, a 2 week stay in hospital and a baby the size of a spider monkey. The plan is this time to get it out, as painfree as possible with no harm done. And if anyone plays whale music i will deck them.

Murtette - that doent surprise me although it should! I also think I am too late for one of those meetings as it's been 2.5 years since. I didn't want to bring it all up again but now I am going to do it again, its praying on me a bit!

mrswee - my birth was also 2.5 years ago & they were happy to do it (well, apparently would have been if my notes hadn't gone missing). Given I'd ended up with a healthy daughter & had a fairly swift recovery, I'd always thought my birth was "fine". It was only when I got pregnant again and began to think about labour that lots of questions started cropping up.

Murtette - Ah that's interesting, I thought there was some sort of time limit but I havent really asked, I think i just read it on here ages ago.
I am the same as you, I put it to the back of my mind and thought to myself it was epic but they got her out safe and I was ok too, plus I was a bit out of my mind on hospital drugs so that softened any horror and gave me a more rose tinted memory than my husband's. But now lots of things are coming to mind and I don't want it to give me fear of doing it again as I get closer to that time.

Birth plan...hmm, not given it a thought really, general plan is

• don't leave it so late to go to hospital this time
• try not to throw up on dh's shoes this time
• don't have pethadine if i can help it as don't want to trip out that much again

Erm, that's it, good to see I am not the only one who hasn't thought about it too much!! I think you've got the right attitude, after all, when has anyone's plan gone to exact plan?!

I kind of feel massively unprepared this time, though. I know what you mean, about not feeling too bad until getting pg again. I always felt okay about DS's birth (prepped for EMCS but he was hauled out by ventouse before that due to failure to progress) but am now getting scared remembering last time. I do want a vb at home but as the weeks tick by I am getting more & more worried.

I think I need to start making one! It hadn't occurred to me and I am nearly 39 weeks. Eeek.

I might just ofcus on what is really important to me this time round, and use headings so that I can say what I would ideally like in different eventualities eg

"If I have a CS birth, I would like as immediate skin to skin as is possible, and for DH and newborn to stay with me in theatre for as long as possible whilst I am being stitched up" (to avoid what happened last time, which was being on my own for 45 minutes being stitched, whilst traumatised DH was ushered away with newborn DS, and by the time I joined them DS was already dressed), or

"If I have a vaginal birth, I would like "

Sounds perfect happy!

I had and emcs this time and have put and 'if CS required' bit in as I was away with it last time - would have quite liked the screen lowered as DS was lifted out , in retrospect.

I didn't have one the first time - got the distinct impression they were not encouraged round here! It was all a bit horrible, but outcomes were fine - as said above I didn't really think about it again till I got pregnant this time and now really want to find out what actually happened as all I remember is being totally off my face with diamorphine/lack of sleep/long labour and more scared than I would have thought possible. My only memory of DD actually arriving and being put in my arms was pretty much "Oh, a baby, whatever. Does this mean I'm not going to die?" - and we had just had a normal vaginal delivery witht a slightly long labour - the forceps etc were lurking for if she hadn't arrived when she did. So, I didn't even cope with that!

Which leads me to vaguely contemplating going to a different hospital - I live 10 minutes from the main hospital in my area, but it doesn't do epidurals and I definitely needed one last time. Next nearest in an hour and a half away and I feel quite silly for even contemplating it - but then I remember how long the first one went on for and all the faffing and cannot face the idea of going through it again. I feel I should be incredibly grateful that I didn't end up with a c-section or a poorly baby and so had quick recovery and all was well - and that going all the way across to Newcastle this time just because I didn't cope with the pain would be a stupid over-reaction.

I worried a lot less last time!

I don't think of a birth plan as me trying to say what will happen so much as a chance to consider the options for what I'll do if certain things happen. Like happy said - what I wanted in different eventualities.

So with DD1 I planned for a home birth. My birth 'plan' did say some things about how I'd like things to be, but I used it more to think about what situations I'd agree to certain interventions. So, I might agree to rupture of membranes if I was very far on but getting tired and starting to think I might need to transfer but the midwives thought that might speed the end up. And things I'd practiced in advance that I might like them remind me about if I was too out of it to remember. And when I'd want them give me an injection for the 3rd stage rather than leaving it or having to get a decision from me. Or little things like 'if I end up in an emergency transfer please remember I wear contact lenses and can someone please remember to bring my glasses as well as still wanting skin to skin and that I'd want DD to be helped to latch on if I was out of it or in a real emergency a request for donor milk for her early feeds (apparently some hospitals have policies that they'll provide it on request if they have enough but not offer it).

I'll be planning another home birth, but this baby has a different dad. So It'll be an opportunity to talk things through with him and explain why I want things like that ideally and what things I'd be happy to change if the situation indicated that would be medically best. And to point out the times that were hardest and what got me through them so that he can help!