Worrying about SECONDARY infertility at 23 weeks (I am 36). Am I mad?

[laughinglemons]

Hello.
Enjoying being pregnant - problem free so far. Tried as in didn't use precautions for a year, then starting getting concerned once I turned 35 (damn the Daily Mail) and started to get check out. 6 months after first going to see someone (his advice was keeping trying with ovulation sticks), had polyp removed, waited 3 months and then BPF first month of taking clomid plus IUI.

My DH is 48 and SO many of his friends have had secondary infertility (the rest seem to have 3 DCs) I am already worrying that we will go through the same miserable desperation as we did this time.

Any thoughts / advice / experience welcome.

I am definitely going to try to breast feed so will be 37 before we are trying for DC2.

My number one suggestion: Don't read the DM :).
I guess it's different for you because you had a hard time getting DC1. I thought I'd have probelms, not starting a family until after 30. So many scare stories. I turn out to be ultra fertile. DC3 b. when I was 36 & DC4 when I was 40.

No guarantees, life is like that.

I wouldn't worry about it at the moment. I have a number of friends who have had IVF for their first and then fallen pregnant naturally and very surprisingly when not trying (as they thought not possible), quickly after the first. At least two of them have been around the age 38-40.

You have a long time and lots of changes before then, so i would cross that bridge when you get to it rather then possibly worry unnecessarily.
HTH

Good suggestion ragged, never read the DM laughinglemons!

You are not mad to worry about this, but at the same time, you don't know that you'll find it difficult next time either, not everyone does. You can't do much about it whilst you are pregnant so it's probably a worry that you need to set aside until you're ready to TTC again. (Obviously, you can still ask for positive stories of women of a similar age who found their subsequent children easier to concieve than their first [busmile] ). The important thing to do is to seek help from as soon as you'll be given it when you TTC in terms using ovulation tests, clomid etc rather than waiting for ages.

Its a worry I share TBH. I'm 26 (though DH is older) but we TTC for 5.5years before getting pregnant without help. The thing is, I lost a lot of weight before concieving, so we have no idea whether that solved our conception issues, and I'd get pregnant rather quickly in future, or whether we were just lucky and might have to wait another 5 years. If we do have trouble concieving, then I'd seek help faster than we did (I was holding off until we were totally ready for baby and I'd lost weight as I thought they'd be more likely to help if my BMI was lower - then I got pregnant naturally).

I've no idea when we should TTC after having DC1. I really believe in baby led weaning, so I might be breastfeeding for quite a while, and I'd like to finish losing weight so that I can have a fitter second pregnancy. I'd like us to move into a bigger place (currently in a one bed flat). But I also don't want to miss a chance for more children either. I do want to focus on our first baby too... (and not say rush into weaning them hoping to get DC2 which may not happen anyway) who knows, I guess we'll know when it feels right to try again. I just can't see us wanting to use contraception for any length of time because of how long we spent trying before and not wanting to miss a chance.

Will take own advice not to worry about it just yet. [bublush] Of course, when my periods start again I suppose my cycle length may give us a clue about how quickly I might concieve (had long cycles that were getting shorter just before I got pregnant). So we can mabe make a decision based on that.

It's difficult, because I want to have more children, but I also want to focus on our first DC (partially because I should but also because after the problems we had concieving him/her, I'm aware that this could be our only baby so I want to concentrate on doing the best I can).

There is a thread called 40+ mum to be, you will see that lots of us have naturally conceived after 40....
I had my first when i was 37, straight forward pg, felt good from the beginning, no nausea, worked in an office until 13 days before giving birth. I am now expecting my second, no Clomid, irregular cycles but with the help of cycle monitoring fell pg immediately. It consists in having scans every week from day 6 of the cycle to find out the ovulation date to maximise conception, 4 scans for me, and 1 clearblue test, positive !
So don't worry, you still have time, you are only 36, lucky you :)
Enjoy this pg

Hi

we tried for over 3 years for our first. I was really worried we would never be able to have second with the first one taking so long.
I am now 6 weeks pregnant with my second and we only tried for 2 cycles! I am almost 37.
I metioned it to the doctor when saying yes this is a planned pregnancy but I am a bit shocked it happened so quickly and she replied that is pretty common for that to happen to people who have problems the first time round, including those that had to have IVF.

good luck with every thing and try not to worry!