30 weeks and still not feeling attached to it..

[vix1980]

Thats it really, ive never been 1 for babies, give me cats or dogs and my heart melts, i cried for the 1st few months of being pregnant, it took a while to sink in, at 12 weeks we told everyone and i felt such a relief that it was out there and in a way it helped me come to terms with what was happening, but i still wasnt exactly overjoyed, its only been the past couple of months that ive started to get a little bit excited about it all.

I feel the baby kicking away, i love dp feeling my bump and talking to it etc. but when im alone and it kicks i dont talk to it, dont do anything to it really, the most ive done is rub it once or twice, ive started to get that same feeling back of terror as when i first realised i was pregnant and i thought it had gone forever and i was over it. Im terrified im going to have this baby and just not be attached to it at all, i read posts on here like i cant wait to meet my baby - i really dont feel like that, i feel like i could actually put it off for another year or so. i hate saying it cos i feel so selfish but thats how i honestly feel, i hope ill change when i can actually see it and hold it in my arms but im so not into children i cant see this happening. i see my friends baby who is 1 month old and shes adorable but ive never wanted to hold her or touch her etc, i just still like going to see my friend having a cuppa then leaving to come home, i feel my life is changing forever and i have no control whatsoever.

is this normal, i just see myself as having a bump, not a mum to be, i have bought bits and bobs my parents and dp's parents have been more excited than me (although mil trying to take over hasnt really helped me - which ive posted about tons). i just still dont feel ready and although i hate to admit it i think ive made a huge mistake

Hello I don't normally post in here but didn't want to leave you unanswered.

I don't know if its normal but if it helps I felt exactly like you, very distanced from my pregnancy and not engaged at all. I got excited because people around me did but it felt like it was happening to someone else and I was just looking through the window. And holding other peoples babies made me pleased for them but did nothing for me iyswim.

For me it all changed when ds actually arrived. Seeing him made it all real and suddenly it clicked into place. I'm sure there will be a point for you too.

I can sympathise about some of your post, I hope I can put your mind at rest at least a little bit.

I was never one for kids, they just seemed like these little thing that just cried and threw up on you, never understood the appeal. Me and dh had a bit of a contraceptive mishap, and found out about 3 weeks later that I was pregnant.

Before giving birth I had never held a baby, it just held no appeal even when pregnant and going to bumps & babies groups, I just couldn't see myself getting past the bump stage.

I gave birth to ds, and from the moment he was born (may have been caused by hormones admittedly!) I felt such a surge of emotion, it was love, protection, feeling completed, I just can't put it into words! Suffice to say, if mine and dh's circumstances allowed, I'd already be pregnant again, I've never been happier than as a mum, I gave up a good career to be a SAHM and feel so complete!

I know this may sound extreme, but that's my experience. Hopefully you will be the same, all I can say is don't worry! It's hard to bond with a bump, especially if you aren't a baby person!

Hey there, I was the same in that I was never a baby person and had never held a baby before DS was born. (I still don't feel any attachment to other people's babies, however cute they are). I don't think the reality ever set in until he popped out!

I think the fact that you're concerned about it might even show you're already feeling more towards the baby than you might think ;) It is true your life is about to change for ever and I am not convinced you can ever be ready! But honestly, it is so overwhelmingly worth it. Such a blessing seeing your little one growing and developing - we're continuously surprised and filled with pride/joy/love. I found the pressure of responsibility can be a bit much at times, and when you're getting little sleep everything is much harder... but we're 20 months down the line now, and it really does get easier :)

Just an additional note, if you don't feel it right away either, please don't stress. It's all so much to take in and a very emotional rollercoaster! Our DS was 7 weeks early and looking back I can see what I felt at the time, but it felt like the bonding took longer with him being in hospital for 4 weeks. And for the first few nights I was almost wracked with guilt (plus hormone overload...) for not feeling like I was expecting to feel. Try not to put pressure on yourself to feel a certain way, if that is possible