Maternity leave - when to start and are you going back?

[LordyLady]

Hello! I'm due June 21st and was planning to start my leave at the beginning of June, but I'm already feeling quite uncomfortable and tired (and useless to be honest) at work, so am thinking of going two weeks earlier. We're moving out of London when the bab arrives so it's pretty certain I won't be going back to work here...but I'm really nervous about money, shooting myself in the foot by leaving early, not having a job and not having my own income. My DP has a good job in the public sector with enough to look after us all but I suppose it's the thought of not being financially independent that's so hard to get used to. Another people out there worried about the same thing...?

I finished 3 weeks before due date both times and both babies were early. One came the Sunday after I had finished on the Friday. With DS I had 54 weeks off and was so bored of babydom I was desperate to go back after about 10 months or so. On mat leave with DD now, timecis flying and loving being at hime with both DC. Planning to go back 3 weeks before her first birthday but keep doing KIT days to extend this!

I'm going to have 6 weeks off before my little one is due...I'm wondering if this is a little self-indulgent! But as I'm not going back I figured why not take it easy when I can....life is going to be a hell of a lot different soon. I always imagined I'd work right up to the end but this just seems silly now as I'm leaving for good. Plus I'm very very good at sitting around the house crocheting baby things or baking cakes! Feel very nesty at the moment and thought why not enjoy it...?

Hi, I am due on 27th July but will leave hopefully on 25th June as I have plenty of hols to take anyway. Also my position within the company will be moved abroad so I have nowhere to come back to after a year of maternity leave... I have to admit that I am scared, heard the news from my direct boss yesterday at 24 weeks, still a bit in shock, first time in my life I am not in control of my career... my OH advised not to think about it as it will happen in a year's time but can't help it, stayed in bed eyes wide open at 2 am thinking about DS1 who is 3.5 yo and DD2 who will arrive soon enough, I feel hopeless not to be financially independant although my OH has never said a word about the way I spend our budget in 11 years.
So yes happy to be able to stay with DC but scared to feel isolated and penny less... :(

Im due 28th August and intending on going off beginning of July to use four weeks hols, before starting mat leave.

I'm undecided if I'm going back or not. Money states I have to, but if there is ANY way around it I won't be.

I've been on mat leave for a week and a half now, and due in 3 weeks (although this is now likely a CS in 2 weeks). I'd planned to finish a week later but asked the boss if I could bring it forward a week when I got to about 32 weeks. Being the sort of person who wants to eat their own arms out of boredom if I have one day off sick or at home for any reason, I have been totally surprised at how 'easy' I have found it to completely check out of a job I LOVE and hang out at home.

It's a very weird feeling! Feeling calm, not overly tired but enjoying a slightly slower pace and pottering at home readying myself for the baby and filling up the freezer, going for little walks, pilates classes and generally faffing about.

I 'plan' to take mostly a year off but in reality this is hugely unknown as I'm not sure how I'll feel in a few months or next year even.

Hpbp I feel your pain with an office move - mine is moving to the other side of London (not quite abroad!!) doubling my commute (plus a nursery drop off) which is slightly frustrating, but as your OH says, am trying not to think about it, so much will change in a year I can deal with what all that means then.

LordyLady, you are not alone! Also concerned about financial changes and skew to being dependant on someone else after a good 10 ish years of being fiercely independent! Going to just play it month by month for now as it's so hard to second guess every twist and turn with how costly living & expectations will be over the year. I never thought I'd be a 'burbs girl but given how I've been surprised by my own feelings on a regular basis recently am just going to try and roll with the punches. Not relishing the idea of less disposable income AT ALL though if I'm brutally honest.

I'm a teacher so H&S says we have to go 3 to 4 weeks before due date. However, I've timed it quite well (due late sept) so I'll be off from mid july. My maternity won't officially start till 2nd Sept tho.

I'm def going back, hopefully be taking the best part of a year but I'll be going back part time.

lordylady I am due the same day as you. My last day in the office is 01 June. However it's all holiday until my due date. Have to admit I am starting to struggle the last couple of weeks. Being in my chair all day makes my back ache so much I am counting down the days until I finish. Probably not coming back but do need to earn some money so looking into childminding as I want to be at home.

OP, do you have any annual leave you can take and tag on to the start of your ML? The last few weeks are a real slog but keep your eye on your leaving date. So long as you don't have any significant physical distress you will get through it. It is crap though.

I have been on leave since last Thursday and start actual Mat leave on the 16th April with baby due on the 29t April. I'm taking the full 12 months of leave so I can spend as much time as I can with the LO before I have to go back to work and leave him all day. Use up all your holiday's and take each day as it comes. xx

Thanks for the replies ladies! I do feel slightly 'naughty' going early but it's the fact I'm not going back that made me think sod it, although it does mean the (meagre) money runs out quicker. I sadly don't have any annual leave left so can't tack it on, garliccheesechips is the cash side why you think I should hang on? You've got me worried now... katiegolightly you sound like you're in a blissful bubble right now, that's what I what a bit of! I'm moving away so coming back here is so unlikely but it's the thought of 'giving up' a job that's making me so nervous. DP tells me not to worry at all about money etc but I can't help it. It's everyone's worst fear to be financially screwed...even though I'm assured we won't be!

Supposed to having a meeting about my maternity leave this afternoon and MUST make my mind up asap

No LordyLady, but if cash was your main concern about going early then sometimes the AL is an option. In your case it's not so lets scrap that :)

I personally think two weeks less money isn't a lot in the grand scheme of things but only you can make that judgement about your own situation.

If you're really struggling, then put yourself first.

Thanks garliccheesechips, that is a very good point . We're doing ok at the moment, plus DP is going to be working over the Olympics 6 days a week as special security officer so he's not worried about cash at all. I'm going to go ahead and take those two extra weeks, and trust that everything will work out ok. It always has done in the past...haven't had to go running back to Mum and Dad begging to come home, this time with babe in arms! Imagine!!!

(lol maybe less blissful bubble and more naive optimism!!)

Agree with Garlic that in the grand scheme of things those 2 weeks won't make a huge difference by the end of the leave, but right now, when you have a huge and exciting mental and physical adjustment to 'the vast unknown' you will love that extra bit of time away from work looking after yourself and thinking about life with bubba .

doitdoitdoit :o

I with katie. You will love that extra time.

Yaaaaaay I'm gonna do it!!! Honestly, my brain is shot to sh*t anyway...I keep losing and forgetting things and getting told off by my boss who incidentally hasn't had a baby, so I just smile and chuckle to myself inside 'just you wait'! Ooooo a nice little bit of nesting time to crochet those blankets and pad about in my pj's...YUMMY

I'm with you Lordy we've not dine the sums yet to see if it's worth me going back to work, but I'm secretly hoping I don't have to!

I took 3 weeks off with my first, and she was 2.5 weeks late so I ended up having over 5 weeks. I'd have thought I'd be bored but I loved it. It was so nice to have time to get things organised in the first week or two and then have time to pootle about. The first time it's quite hard to unwind from a work routine if that's what you're used to... or at least that's what I found.
At the end of your maternity leave I didn't find a week made that much difference. You still dread leaving your little one and a week or two doesn't make much difference.
This time I'm only having 2 weeks off before but that's because we've got childcare costs and I am expecting DD2 to arrive late... I hope I'm right as I am not remotely prepared yet.