It would be so much simpler! I never thought I'd be jealous of chickens, snakes and stuff but I've been watching a swan's nest near our building with increasing envy. All they have to do is poo out some eggs with no bother, sit chilling out for a while and swim off with their little ones once they hatch.
Things would be so much easier if I just laid an egg. I'd just have to incubate the thing with a heated blanket, check the humidity and temperature once a day and occasionally candle it to make sure it's growing OK.
Instead I have a such a temper I'm a danger near naked flames. I haven't got a bump as such yet but I have expanded and it hurts to stretch (oh BOY am I going to have epic stretch marks) I can feel my skin screaming in protest when I reach up. I can't have juice, curries, fish, creamy sauces, eat until I'm full or I will vomit. No alcohol, goodbye beloved smokes (actually that's probably good for me I suppose), hello hip and back pain, painful swollen breasticles and oily skin. The only good thing I can see so far is my full head of shiny, thick hair which I'm told it will fall out when the baby comes and my fingernails are amazing and growing really fast.
I'd much rather sit in a converted wheelbarrow thing, getting wheeled about with a big blanket over my egg and knitting things for when it hatches.
looks out of the window at the nest on the river with jealousy