6+4 and feeling rather depressed :-(

[CandyPop]

Just wanted to see am i alone on this......
Baby is very much wanted, we were very lucky enough to get lucky on our first cycle. It came as a bit of shock as you always hear it can take up to a year to conceive. I have always wanted children and always got broody looking at babies. Friends expect when the time comes I will embrace motherhood easily.

However 6+4 into the pregnancy, my emotions are all over the place. Feel guilty for not being as happy as i think i should be. The constant nauseous feeling and tiredness is getting to me.

I wonder whether me and DH are really ready for this. Its gonna have such a big impact on our lives. I worry about work and whether i would be able to go back full time to it. I worry about having time 9 months off from work. Would i be able to cope?

On paper we are ready, we're both 30, 2 secure jobs and a house. So why do i feel like i'm not ready :(

I work in finance so my job is quite demanding and I often have to work late. Today was my first late night, and i so tired and just feel like crying.

I just didnt expect to feel like this :(

Hi there. I'm 9+4 and I know exactly how you feel. I really want to be pregnant but it is all a bit scary and feeling ill all of the time is horrific.
I found it hard when we told our family because they were all so excited and going on and on about it being the best thing ever. Which, of course, is lovely. But nobody seems to care about how bad I feel, how scared I am, how many things have already changed and need to change.

I think/hope that once I have a scan I will feel better. I guess it does not feel like the good bit is real yet, but the crap bit most certainly is.

sheeshhh... you're only 6 weeks along, and I guess just found out that you are pregnant... so firstly: Congrats!

You still have plenty of time to adjust to the reality of it all, and to decide how long you'll take mat leave, and how your work arrangements will be when you are back.

your basic situation sounds great, so I am sure you'll do fine :-)

And don't worry: nobody's world is suddenly all rosy (forever) just because they are having a baby.

Working hard during pregnancy is tough though, but it has to be done.

Good luck!

Go easy on yourself. It's your hormones. They are making you emotional and tired and you will start to analyse things, doubt yourself, feel guilty, want to cry. It's all normal at this stage and it will pass. After 10 - 12 weeks you should start to get your spark back and the hormones will die down. I've been through it twice before and am going through it again now. It is horrible but you will start to enjoy your pregnancy once you're in your 2nd trimester. The worst bit is you feel awful physically and emotionally but can't tell people at work the reason why. But please just accept this is the first bit, it's hormonal and it will pass, I promise.

Hi - and congratulations on your pregnancy.
This is one of the most enormous life changes you and your husband are about to make. It would be very weird indeed if you didn't approach it with some amount of worry, trepidation, or mixed feelings. There is a world of difference between wanting to have a baby and actually having one, and over the next 34 weeks or so, you'll find various things to worry about, not least what it's going to be like once the baby actually arrives.
So...my advice is to cut yourself some slack, and start trying to eliminate the word 'should' from your vocab when it comes to how you feel/behave etc. Those mental pictures that we absorb from films, tv, magazines etc about how we should feel in any particular situation, whether it's falling in love, discovering we're pregnant or even when we see our baby for the first time, often don't match how we actually do feel when it happens. Don't let the shoulds make you feel bad, just go with how you do feel and deal with that.
If you feel tired, sick, worried etc. try to make sure you snack regularly if you're having a long work day, sleep as much as possible when you're home, and when you feel comfortable with it, maybe talk to other mothers at your work about how they found the change and how it impacts on their work, if it does.

Thankfully, the thing about being pregnant is it (everything going to plan) lasts a long time and changes happen gradually, so you don't have deal with everything that occurs to you to worry about this week. Go easy on yourself and give it time.

I'm 8 weeks and shitting bricks on a daily basis tbh.

It was a shock unplanned pregnancy, never thought would be able to get pregnant again too and had grieved for that and dealt with it and put it away in a box in my head.

I'm finding it really hard to get my emotions out of that box again and allow myself to believe it will happen. I'm shitting myself that my OH isn't ready, will end up splitting and be on my own at 40, jobless, partially disabled and with a baby

I've no advice just letting you know you aren't alone x

I just wanted to let you know that you shouldn't worry about how you feel now and whether you will continue to feel like that when your baby is born.

I felt exactly the same as you with my last pregnancy. We fell pregnant immediately which I think was a big factor behind the shock- we were expecting it to take at least a couple of months. It was very lucky but it didn't give me any time to adjust to the idea of wanting and succeeding in falling pregnant.

Everyone around me was ecstatic but I was just worried... I felt worried about the health of the baby, worried about the future-i.e work, worried about whether I would ever go back to being 'me' again, worried about losing my figure and worried about how I would react when the baby arrived. I didn't even want to visit a friend and her newborn because it freaked me out so much!

I also had the added stress of my husband and I being the middle of a complete house renovation (we basically knocked our bungalow down and built a house) so we were camping in our garage. When I was 5months PG my FIL got diagnosed with a terminal disease, which was obviously devastating and on top of that I was working in a highly stressful job at the time. I'm saying this not to be a martyr but to illustrate that I don't think I have been in a more negative place mentally in my whole life than when I was PG with my DS, (although thankfully it was a very healthy pregnancy phsyically).

Despite all that, having him is without doubt the best thing we ever ever did. As soon as he arrived all my worries went (well almost all- you never stop worrying about their health) and once those first difficult couple of weeks had passed (that's a whole other story!) I have never been happier or more content.

What I'm trying to say is give yourself a break, trust that all will be well because essentially this is what you want and don't feel guilty for worrying - its natural and once your baby is here you will more than likely forget what you were worrying about.

I remember the morning I found out I was pregnant, it was 2nd december and I woke up with the feeling of "I just know I'm pregnant I need to go out immediately and get a test" not many shops were open in my small(ish) town and eventually I got a test and came home. I was beyond excited and ran straight upstairs with dp very close behind me. The test was positive and my immediate reaction was "shit what have we done" and that feeling stayed with me for quite some time. I then suffered with hyperemesis and was ill till I was 20 weeks and the feeling of dread just seemed to get worse with each week. However the sickness subsided at 20 weeks and the excitement came back. And stayed and I now have a beautiful (if very bossy and opinionated) 19 month old dd.

I guess my point is that having a child is the biggest commitment you'll ever make in your life and it's impossible to know how you'll feel until you get a BFP. Add to that the fact the fact that life has to go on as normal not matter how tired or ill or emotional you feel and it can be a very stressful time. Try to relax and get as much rest as possible and hopefully you'll start to feel better. My advice would be try not to worry too much about what you'll do when the baby is here, when you'll go back to work etc as it will all just make an already stressful situation worse. I hope you start to feel better soon, it really is a magical time and it's gone in the blink of an eye :)

I remember the morning I found out I was pregnant, it was 2nd december and I woke up with the feeling of "I just know I'm pregnant I need to go out immediately and get a test" not many shops were open in my small(ish) town and eventually I got a test and came home. I was beyond excited and ran straight upstairs with dp very close behind me. The test was positive and my immediate reaction was "shit what have we done" and that feeling stayed with me for quite some time. I then suffered with hyperemesis and was ill till I was 20 weeks and the feeling of dread just seemed to get worse with each week. However the sickness subsided at 20 weeks and the excitement came back. And stayed and I now have a beautiful (if very bossy and opinionated) 19 month old dd.

I guess my point is that having a child is the biggest commitment you'll ever make in your life and it's impossible to know how you'll feel until you get a BFP. Add to that the fact the fact that life has to go on as normal not matter how tired or ill or emotional you feel and it can be a very stressful time. Try to relax and get as much rest as possible and hopefully you'll start to feel better. My advice would be try not to worry too much about what you'll do when the baby is here, when you'll go back to work etc as it will all just make an already stressful situation worse. I hope you start to feel better soon, it really is a magical time and it's gone in the blink of an eye :)

I felt the same too, didn't find out until week 11, just thought I had flu and raging delayed PMS. I thought a test would jolt my body into 'coming on'. Spent a week in total shock hoping if I ignored it it would go away. Obviously it hasn't :).
And I have spent the last few weeks thinking 'OMG what have I done'. I think everyone does whether it's planned or not and looking back I think I was very VERY hormonal. I cried when my egg hadn't boiled enough.

I'm beginning to get my head round it now.

OP my situation was exactly the same - very much planned / wanted, shocked to conceive on first cycle. But I too flipped out in the first few weeks after finding out, wondering if I'd done the right thing, etc. And my pregnancy has been relatively trouble free!
All I can say is I have got my head around it in time. It is such a daunting thing, a change in your life like no other. Thankfully once I got over the initial fears, I have been mostly very excited, and the terror of what is still to come is mainly hiding in the background (now 29 weeks)
So don't feel alone
Hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well and you can look forward to welcoming your little one

Just wanted say a BIG thank you to everyone's reassuring words . It has made me feel a bucket load better to know that I'm not alone and there are those of u who felt the same but gone on to embrace the whole thing.

Have also decided to tell our parents this weekend, just need "adult" support and get some reassurance from my mum and mil.

Things are looking so much brighter this morning after a good night sleep... Cant guarantee I'm gonna feel the same come tonight, but I will try to think positive and blame the hormones :)