Anyone feel a bit down and anxious sometimes?

[Sarahmarie2505]

im expeting number 3 i have a 6 and 4 yr old already im 22 weeks gone now. I finally started to get excited the other day and went out and got some stuff with my mum. Im now feeling down and worried about when i leave work and the change again to look after baby all day etc and im starting to feel down : ( i suffer with depression so im hoping its not the start of that i jus feeling miserable. Anyone else get like this?

I'm not at 22 weeks I'm at 6 and I only have one child but I really didn't want to leave your post unanswered. I think with all the hormones in your body at the moment it's completely natural for your moods to fluctuate. So that could maybe be why you are happy then anxious. But we all have our ups and howns even when we are not growing children.

You've done it before and are here to tell to tale and that must have been a big change especially the first time. Maybe you should talk to your doctor as you already have a history of depression. Good luck with it all.

Plan for your time with your new baby. Find out about mother and baby groups si that you know you won't feel isolated from the off.

Def talk to your GP about it all too. Don't suffer in silence.

Pregnancy and early parenthood is a tumultuous time emotionally and in terms of hormonal flux. It's really important you seek out the help you think you might need.

Very exciting about dc3. I've got 3 (pg with number 4) and they really do hang out together having giggles, squabbles and general fun. I love it.

I know what you mean Sarah. With me it's mainly fear of the unexpected as I'm pg with my first. Yesterday plans were being made at work that would otherwise have included me for a really big project that I'll be missing out on as I'll be on mat leave. It sounds terrible but I was almost regretful about that. And am freaking out about next week's milestone, 3 months til due date. I've had depression before too and I think it's good to be vigilant about noticing warning signs but also don't get too anxious about whether you might be depressed iykwim! I keep telling myself pregnancy is a short and special time and to try to enjoy it while it lasts.

I'm also glad to read what Winky said about enjoying her kids as I feel like when you're pg everyone loves to tell you how you don't know what's about to hit you, your life will change forever etc and you end up really scared. People don't tend to say 'it's lovely!'

Being down and anxious during pregnancy is not in itself unusual, having a child is a big life change. However, ante-natal depression is also a reality for some women. I'm currently signed off work, and waiting for counselling as I try to get myself in some kind of shape to cope with my life. Like you I have also previously suffered from depression, in my case though I think having only 8 months between pregnancies was just a bit of a hormonal overload too much for me.

It can be difficult to work out if you're just a bit down or actually depressed, I am very lucky as I have an excellent and very understanding GP. I visited him a few months ago when I was unsure whether I had PND or if I was just sleep deprived and he helped me work out what was going on, and whether my thoughts and feeling were quite normal given the circumstances or if they were more extreme and indicative of me needing extra help whether it be in the form of Counselling or ADs. As it happened he helped me work out that I didn't have PND.

You mention that you've just started feeling this way so you may feel that it's extreme to go straight to the GP but my point is that you don't have to wait until you've definitely decided you're depressed in order to seek some help.

It may also be worth speaking to your midwife, I had mentioned how hard I was finding things at my booking appointment and was referred to a specialist midwife who helps women to manage stress in pregnancy.

Good luck, I hope you start to feel better soon.

Hi sarahmarie,

I am in a very similar position to you, I am 19 weeks pg, and have DDs aged 2 and 4. I am finally over my terrible morning sickness and am feeling physically much better, but over the past few days have had thoughts about the boredom and drudgery of looking after a tiny baby again, especially when I would rather be concentrating on my older 2, as DD1 will be starting school around that time too.

FWIW, I was very lonenly and bored on my first mat leave, but found my 2nd much, much better as I had made some mum friends I could visit/call, plus I found myself so much busier with the 2 under 2s to deal with.

This time I am planning on focussing on DD2, and just making sure I get her out and spend lots of time with her, whilst DC3 will just have to join in. The first few weeks they sleep lots anyway, so you'll be able to enjoy the peace - read, watch tv etc whilst they sleep, enjoy being alone until your older two get back home from school.

I think it's important to plan ahead for this boring time as well - I am going to treat myself to a kindle or an i-pad, some smellies etc, so I can spend the early days of mat leave just relaxing, till baby gets a little bit older and more demanding. I am also finding out about baby classes etc already, so I know my days will include some sort of activity and getting out of the house.

As you have two older ones you'll know what to expect this time, so anything you are able to do now to make that time easier may help you feel less anxious about those first few boring weeks/months?

And failing that we can MN all day long :)