Scared to death.

[Yummymummyyobe1]

Is it natural to be all most frightened to death at 35 weeks that something awful is going to happen and I will loose our baby or that he will not survive the birth. Then I worry that when he is born he might die from cot death. He is our first DC.

I'm terrified that things could go wrong and even if they don't I will be a useless mum and won't know the first thing to do. My DP is going to be a great dad and so scared I will let him down.

XX

It is entirely natural and normal to worry about all those things (I certainly did). However you do need to try and keep a sense of what's realistic rather than what is possible.

Realistically, the vast majority of babies are born healthy after a fairly uneventful labour (as in, neither of you are excessively distressed by the experience) and the vast majority of new mums (many of whom I'm sure are less conscientious than you) manage to look after their babies and keep them safe and sound.

Even if you do experience difficulties, there are health professionals galore to help and advise (and of course, Mumsnet will be here too). Whatever you experience, you can be absolutely sure that someone else has been there too and has come through it. Experiencing difficulties does NOT make you a 'useless mum', either; millions of mums will have had the same troubles and their kids still love and need them.

It sounds like you will be a lovely mum who cares greatly about her DC. Please try to de-stress a bit and enjoy these last few weeks when there isn't any wailing (from you or DC) :)

Thanks Herrenathehennahairedharridan I think that realisim is kicking in that in about 5 weeks I will have a little person who needs me so much and not really knowing what to expect.

I am going to have to stop reading things as that makes things worse. Hopefully seeing the MW tomorrow will calm me a little as I always feel better when I have heard DC's heartbeat. xx

I can totally relate to what you are saying but above (very long name!)
is spot on. Fact you care shows and you will relax once he/she has arrived. I used to freak out about a certain thing (wont say in case hasn't occurred to you) but it is just nervous anxiety and will calm down. I sometimes do it now, it is just because we love them so so so much.

EmmieA thanks. Hopefully with my leave starting on Thursday and seeing th MW tomorrow I might feel less frightened. I can't imagine how I can love DS1 anymore than I already do and he is not here. xx

Someone across the street called to me when I had 3 weeks to go with DS1:"3 weeks? That's not long!" and my answer, without thinking, was: "It's too soon!"

I was as nervous as hell about the arrival of DS1. However, labour itself took my mind off it and after labour you just end up doing one thing after another in a bit of a daze! This daze may last for some months and then you wake up and realise you can soothe a crying baby/change a nappy/breastfeed or bottlefeed in your sleep.... :)

Having said that I do worry about things happening to him even now and check on him (he's in his own room) every time I wake up in the night. He's 9mo, there is really no need to check but I do it anyway!!

One important thing is to trust your DP to look after DC - I have heard of so many mums who exhaust themselves because they think they need to be able to do it all, when in fact partners often want to be involved with their new LO. If you're offered the chance for a nap, take it!

I hope you feel better after tomorrow's appointment, I used to feel the same about listening to heartbeats....

Oh by the way: you will love your baby, but it is permissible to get tired of constantly looking after them.

I've met loads of mums who say 'Of course I love him/her dearly BUT...' and then launch into a story of sleep deprivation/food anxieties/whatever. I never think these mums don't love their babies, I just think 'Gosh, that sounds hard, I'd be grumbling too.'

The moral is: if you're getting tired and fed up EVEN THOUGH you love your baby, don't feel guilty about it or beat yourself up. It is a natural response to the unceasing demands of a newborn!

You probably can't imagine feeling that way right now, but I really did (and I certainly wasn't alone).

Arh I'm sure you will be a wonderful mum to little Harry
Your due the same time as me - give or take a day or 2 (I'm due 28th), iv been feeling like a rubbish mum to be the last few days as well - im thinking 35 weeks brings a new batch of hormones. I went to a relaxation class which although was lovely upset me as I was the only one still working & a few of the other ladies commented about my bump being little & asked if my measurements were ok - one insinuated that I'm small because I'm still running around and putting my baby at risk. I came out the class & cried my eyes out. So far measurements have been spot on but it's amazing how a stranger can get you feeling - all of a sudden I felt like the worst mum to be in history!

I think it's normal to worry it just means you care!

Hope you feel happier soon

Xxx

Thanks Herrenathehennahairedharridanit is always really comforting to hear that Harry is okay. I think I need to be kinder on myself.

justhayley you are due the day before me. It is amazing how insensitive some people can be. As long as the MW is happy then that is all that really matters when is comes down to size of bump etc. I can't believe there are only weeks left before we have our DC here.

Feeling much happier today, Harry is head down and bum up and as happy as Larry (Harry) Still not digging this heat.

xx